Happy Beginnings
by Correl
Summary: *Formally 'Getting It Sorted'* COMPLETE!! Set at the end of S6B / S3A, Cordelia's first asignment from the PTB as a Higher Being I made this PG because I swear and I wouldn't want to offend any innocent ears
1. Part 1 Cordelia

Okay guys, be nice. This is my first fic, unbetad and I have no clue what I'm doing. Constructive criticism greatly accepted, flames will be returned three fold.  
  
Disclaimer: BtVS and Angel are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and The WB and UPN respectively. I own nothing and make nothing from it. Please don't sue because I've only got debts, which you're welcome to.  
  
Anything in italics is thought.  
  
Onto the story:-  
  
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Slowly, the bright light around Cordelia faded, or maybe her eyes had faded. She realised with a start that being a higher being meant that her corporeal body was kind of obsolete. She now existed on a higher plane, beyond that of the physical. She felt her senses spread and grow, she could see so far though she had no eyes, she could taste so much though she had no mouth. The sensations overwhelmed her, not just the usual five; she could feel the hearts, souls and minds of every being on earth. She figured she could probably see further than earth, but she wasn't ready to look yet.  
  
'Just let it all settle down' she heard Skip say next to her. 'It hits you pretty hard at first, but once you get used to it it's just more background noise'  
  
Cordelia felt herself being pulled in a thousand different directions. She could feel so much; love, hate, loneliness, friendship, anger, gratitude, and all the emotions in between. It was as if the feelings of the whole planet were being poured into her, and then trying to get out. At length, the feelings started to lessen, and Cordelia felt the boundaries between herself and the worlds' emotions come back into place. 'Whew!! That was a reality changer. How come you didn't warn about .it?!' She exclaimed, annoyed.  
  
'Do you think any description could do that justice?' Skip asked. 'Well, no' she replied, 'but still, you could have said something. Given me a warning maybe. Y'know "The whole worlds about to invade your head, hang on for the ride" would have been better than "Surprise, deal with it." If I wasn't used to people invading my head from those visions, my mind would be a mess on the floor right now!'  
  
'Cordelia, if you hadn't had those visions you wouldn't have been able to ascend to become a higher being' 'Right' said Cordelia. She wasn't sure how she said it, as she didn't have a mouth anymore. None the less, she and Skip were definitely having a conversation. She decided not to worry about it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.  
  
'So what next? Do the powers have some dangerous new mission to send me on? Or am I about to get fitted for my wings and offered a harp?'  
  
'Cordelia, you're not dead. You're a higher being now. You still work for the Powers That Be, but it's more of a freelance role. You can see into the hearts, souls and minds of most beings now - '  
  
'Most! Most! Why most, why not all?!'  
  
Skip looked at her, exasperated. 'Cordelia, you want to play 20 questions, or should I finish explaining this to you?'  
  
'Sorry' she said ironically.  
  
Skip paused, letting the tension build. Cordelia rolled her metaphysical eyes and sighed, looking more bored than tense. Kip gave up on the tension building and continued. 'As I said, you can see into the hearts, minds and souls of most beings. You can see their intentions and desires, and aid or destroy them with the help of champions, like Angel, and until very recently, you. You'll be given some guidance early on, but basically you get to pick your own projects, and work them as you see fit'  
  
'Wow. That's a lot of responsibility' Cordelia murmured, daunted by the new powers being handed to her.  
  
'We know' Skip smiled, 'that's why the Powers chose you. They could see into your heart, saw the strength of your will to do good. The demon you were given and the powers that came with it were a test, make no mistake about it. They were a test which you passed with flying colours. You have seen and done and experienced too much to continue as a physical warrior for the light. You will carry on the fight, just on a different level'  
  
'But what about the others!' Cordelia cried. 'Angel, Gunn, even Wes.. And what about Buffy or Willow or Xander?' They've all fought just as long and hard as I have, if not longer. Why weren't any of them chosen?'  
  
'Very few people are even considered by the Powers for this kind of ascension' Skip tried to explain to a dazed Cordelia 'of those considered, even less are tested, and not all of them pass the test. Your friends, well, some of them have to find redemption in this form before they can move to the next. As for the slayer, it is her destiny to fight the physical fight, not this one. Others are on the right path, but not there yet. You have to realise that the visions, fighting to keep them, even giving up your dream life for them and accepting the demon into you put you way ahead on points in the whole suffering for the good of others steaks.' He paused, 'One of them was tested though. She failed. We were hoping you would make helping her, helping all your corporeal friends, your first project.'  
  
Cordelia stared at him not understanding what she had just heard. She knew she was beautiful and smart and sure, she had survived some crappy times, but all the time she had spent at Sunnydale High School, working out how to be the most popular and Queen Bitch over everyone. He figured she was slap bang in the middle of the whole good or evil 'ometer. She told Angel where to go and who to help, but she had only joined in the actual fighting recently. Plus, her parents, those people who were really supposed to know you, hadn't given a crap about how smart she was or how nice she was. They only noticed that she looked good. Didn't that say it all really? But then, this was the Power's That Be. Maybe they knew something she didn't.  
  
Then again, maybe not.  
  
Looking around, Cordelia realised that their essences had somehow molded themselves into shining images of their physical forms. Skip was still spiky, although more silver than grey now, and she could see what looked like her own body except it glowed a pale gold colour. She decided she must look like the astral image she had seen of herself in the mirror of her apartment earlier that evening. Had it really been only a few hours ago? She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure how time worked up here.  
  
Suddenly, Cordelia latched onto something Skip had said 'One of them failed?' 'One of the original Scooby Gang failed!?' She didn't think it was possible! 'Which one?'  
  
'You tell me' Skip replayed. Cordelia harrumphed, annoyed. She wouldn't have asked if she already knew would she! Skip tilted his head benevolently 'Stretch out your feeling'  
  
'You're not Obi'Wan you know' Cordelia scowled at him.  
  
Skip looked momentarily nonplussed, and then decided on another angle of attack. 'All the emotions you were feeling before, they've quieted now haven't they?' Cordelia nodded her agreement. 'You have to learn to listen to it without letting it overwhelm you. In time you will learn to separate individual's emotions without even thinking about it. Now, you will probably find it easier to concentrate on your friends, the people you know. Then you should be able to single them out as individuals.' As Cordelia opened her mouth to ask more questions, Skip murmured, 'I suggest you try Sunnydale first. It's the easiest place to find, and it's where you are most needed'  
  
Cordelia looked at him, not understanding what he meant at first. He nodded encouragingly. Slowly she started to concentrate on her new senses, directing them towards the earth. The darkness pouring out of the hellmouth stood out like a beacon to her. It wasn't the only dark place, but whilst all the others were shades of grey, Sunnydale was obsidian. It seemed to be trying to suck the light out of everything.  
  
She glanced back at Skip, concerned. Whilst she was looking into the darkness, the darkness seemed to be looking back. It was not a sensation she enjoyed. Skip nodded again, 'Look further, find those who need you'  
  
'Okay' Cordelia concentrated again. It was easier this time, now she knew where to look. The darkness seemed to know where to look too though. The feeling of malevolence brushing against her essence was chilling. Still, she was Cordelia. Something nasty trying to get in her way had never stopped her before. She brushed past the darkness and continued her search. The feelings radiating around her were becoming easier to distinguish: human, demon, happy, sad. She started to sense different individuals. The stronger the emotions, the easier it was to find a person. She could feel one above all others, the cocktail of emotions being given off screamed at her newly developed senses. She could feel guilt, despair, anger, grief, confusion, rage and sorrow, all pouring forth from one soul.  
  
Before she realised what she was doing, her essence had travelled back across the great divide and was reforming on a cliff top, beside the person she had sensed.  
  
  
  
Willow knelt in Xander's arms sobbing uncontrollably for what had happened, and what she had done. Her emotions surpassed anything she had ever felt before. There were no words for the despair she was feeling. How could she have done all the things she had done? She'd attacked Buffy and Giles. She didn't even know if Giles was still alive. She had threatened to turn Dawn back into The Key. Her mind shied away from thinking about what she had done to Warren, she couldn't face that yet, and underscoring it all was the well of grief for Tara, her lost love. They had just got back together and everything was working out. It wasn't fair that she had been taken from her now. Tara had done nothing to deserve it. Far more fitting, to Willows way of thinking, would have been for her to be the one shot through the heart, to die from a bullet meant for someone else. Tara had never fallen into dark magicks, never risked her friends lives because she got out of control. Maybe that was why Tara was the one taken. Losing her was Willows punishment, whilst Tara was allowed into heaven. No matter how much Willow wanted her back, and knowing that she had the power, Willow knew she would never see Tara again. She wouldn't pull Tara out of heaven like she had Buffy, and after the rampage she had just been on she wouldn't be joining her there later.  
  
Holding Willow in his arms, fearing that her bones would shatter from the sobs wracking her body, Xander felt helpless. When he had been fighting the darkness within Willow, telling her how much he loved her and really hoping she wouldn't end the world, he had had, kind of, a plan. Now he knew there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. No way to ease the pain she was feeling now and no way to smooth the difficult path ahead. So he held his best friend tight, and allowed her to sob her heart out to him.  
  
Looking around, Xander noticed that the air seemed to be getting brighter. In front of him a glow had appeared, and it was growing, getting bigger and bigger until it was about the size of a person. Features started to become more defined through the glow, which was no longer quite so bright. He could make out that it was a female figure, a young woman, but the face lacked detail.  
  
His grip on Willow tightened whilst the thing was appearing in front of him. At length she managed to bring her head up and wipe her eyes, to see what was making Xander's heart pound. Together, they stared as the face of the apparition became clear.  
  
'Cordelia?!' They gaped together. For a second Willow's miseries were forgotten as she stared at the image before her.  
  
'Great' the images snapped 'I ascend to a higher state of being, and I still find you two together'  
  
  
  
'You know all about the vision thing, right?' Willow nodded. Xander was still looking at Willow, waiting for her to lose it again, so Cordelia decided a little bit of a recap was in order 'I got the visions from Doyle. He was Angel's original link to the PTB. When he died, he kissed me and passed the visions to me.' Willow looked at her questioningly, hearing the residue of pain in Cordelia's voice when she mentioned Doyles' death. 'Whole 'nother story.' She waved it away. 'Anyway, Doyle gave the visions to me, and I became Angel's link to the Powers. Problem was, the visions were never meant to be carried by a human. Doyle was half demon and they were awful for him. As a human, they were killing me. Literally. They were turning my brain to mush, and would have pretty soon blown the back out of my skull. I had a vision that was so powerful it knocked me out, and I went all astralley. The PTB gave me a choice, I could keep the visions, and die, or I could forget all this and live my dream life. Surprise, surprise, I picked my dream life. It was great, I was a star, I had my own sitcom and everything. Thing was, I knew there was something more important I should be doing. I didn't remember what at first.. I went back to Skip, the messenger the Powers had sent to me, and told him I wanted my old life back. Even if the visions killed me, what I was doing was more important than one life, even if that life was mine. Skip told me there was a way round it. I could become half demon. It wouldn't make me evil, the Powers would see to that, but it would cause some changes in me, and I'd be able to still have my visions without getting dead. Of course, it couldn't be that simple, it hurt like a bitch, but after all I've suffered with the visions, I handled it.'  
  
'Wait a minute' something she had said penetrated the fog surrounding Xander's brain 'you're part demon now?'  
  
'No. I was part demon, now I'm a higher being.'  
  
Willow smiled. It was a watery, week version of her normal smile, but it was real. Xander stared. He hadn't been sure he would ever see Willow smile again, and of all people, Cordelia was the one bringing it out.  
  
'Congratulations' Willow murmured. Then she sighed. 'It's all part of the balance. Have you come to punish me?'  
  
'Balance? Punish!? Will, what are talking about? Cordelia doesn't get to punish anyone, unless it's Faith in my fantasies, and I'll shut up now cause she's glowing brighter.'  
  
Cordelia glared at Xander. 'Willow, I'm not here to punish you, I'm here to help.'  
  
'But I deserve to be punished. I need to be punished. The universe has to balance. There has to be balance. Actions have consequences, every time you use magick there are consequences. If you use as much dark magick as I did, there are major consequences. I hurt Giles and Buffy and Warren, oh God Warren..'  
  
Cordelia and Xander stared at each other helplessly as Willow began to sob again. Cordelia stepped forwards and wrapped her arms' around Willow, drawing some of the pain and anguish away, and leaving comfort in its place. She looked back at Xander, 'we need to get away from here, back to the magick shop' she decided.  
  
'Agreed' Said Xander 'but err ... Don't take this the wrong way, okay? You are kind of conspicuous, even by Sunnydale standards.'  
  
Cordelia glanced down at herself, glowing even brighter as she tried to comfort Willow. 'You're right.'  
  
'You can transport all three of you, just like Star Trek.' Skip appeared next to her 'First you've got to get rid of that though.' He pointed to the alter Willow had created.  
  
'Right. Couldn't have gone for something quiet and discrete could you? How the Hell am I meant to get rid of that?' Cordelia glared at Skip  
  
'Cordy, erm, who ya talkin too?' Xander asked, looking around.  
  
'Him! Skip! the big silver spiky guy standing next to me?. You can't see him can you?' She leaned round Willow to look at Skip 'they can't see you. Why can't they see you?!'  
  
'This is Sunnydale. Come on kid, looking like this, the Slayer'd try and kill me or someone would try and get me to kill her. No sirree thank you Bob. I'll just stay invisible to everyone but you if that's okay.'  
  
'Great. So I get to look crazy talking to the invisible man. Thanks a lot Skip.'  
  
'You already glow in the dark, and the light for that matter. People already know that you're weird.'  
  
'You're a great help, really. Now tell me how to get rid of this thing,' she gestured at the alter 'and feel free to leave any time.' She turned to Xander 'Skip's my invisible friend. I glow and I have an invisible friend, okay?!'  
  
'That's fine Cordy, whatever you say, I don't have a problem with.' Xander backed away slowly as he spoke, hands open in front of him. He wasn't sure what Cordelia had become, and decided he'd hold off on pissing her off until he knew exactly how powerful she had become.  
  
'Just imagine it gone.' Skip advised  
  
Cordelia cast a withering glance at him over her shoulder. Still holding Willow in her arms, whose wracking sobs had quietened to silent tears, she concentrated on the alter. As Xander and Skip looked on, it seemed to fade from view, before disappearing completely. Some of the mud and stones that had been displaced when the alter rose skittered into the hole left behind. That whole was the only physical reminder of Willow's recent attempt to end the world.  
  
'Nice job.' Said Skip, before disappearing.  
  
Cordelia smiled, pleased with her work, and the leant back slightly from Willow 'are you ready to go to the Magic Box? I have to go check on Giles'  
  
Willow looked scared, but nodded. 'Let's go'  
  
Cordelia reached out and took Xander's hand, and together the three of them disappeared.  
  
Anya and Giles ducked under the fallen beams from the ceiling of the Magic Box, a legacy of Giles and Buffys' battles with Willow. As they reached the door, Anya's demonic senses jumped to a state of high alert. She glanced back over her shoulder, still supporting Giles, ready to push him through the door should it become necessary.  
  
She could sense a higher being.  
  
Higher beings could be fairly capricious in their temperament, and Anya had to admit, a vengeance demon dragging a beaten up, magickally drained man out of a beaten up shop did not make for a good first impression. 'Here we go.' She muttered, as she watched the light grow and coalesce in front of her. She ran through scenarios in her mind, trying to figure a way for this not to end badly for her or Giles. She could teleport out of there, but that would mean leaving Giles, who needed to get to a hospital fast. Anyway, the HB would probably follow her, so running would only delay the inevitable. Better to face it now and hope she could explain fast enough not to have to face any of the dire fates running through her head.  
  
Cordelia blinked as the world reformed around her. She hadn't been in the Magic Box since Giles had taken it over, but she suspected this wasn't how it normally looked.  
  
She saw Giles and what looked like a blonde, but felt like a demon, standing in the doorway. The strongest emotion coming from the demon was concern, mainly for Giles. She wasn't a threat, although what she was had yet to be decided. Being an ex-half-demon herself, Cordelia wasn't jumping to any conclusions.  
  
She felt Willow let go of her hand and step away from her, heard her gasp and felt the wave of dismay that rolled through her at the wreck the shop had become. This used to be a place Willow had loved to spend time. Now it was destroyed, and even worse, she was the destroyer. 'Don't worry' Cordelia told her. 'This is not a problem. How many times did we rebuild the library after Hell came through the floor? Coupla days, you won't know the difference! In fact..' I wonder if I can. 'Picture it the way it was' She said. All four of them heard her and couldn't help but obey. It wasn't that Cordelia could compel them to do stuff against there will, they were all looking around anyway, and the memories of what the shop used to look like were easy to find. Locking all the different images together in her mind she closed her eyes. She had a feeling she was glowing again.  
  
From Willow and Xander, she sensed mild surprise. They had seen her in action before, and knew she could pull off some pretty spectacular stuff. Giles and the demon, who seemed to know who she was, were in shock. To say they were gob smacked, flabbergasted, amazed and totally awed, all at once, would have been an understatement.  
  
She opened her eyes and looked around. 'Much better.' The shop was back to how it used to be. Even the Black Arts books were back in the restricted section. 'Don't you wish I could have done that when we were in High School?' She asked irreverently. 'You can come in. I'm not going to hurt you.' She added, as the demon girl still felt a little uneasy.  
  
'I need to get Giles to a hospital. He's not as bad as he was, but he's still really, really damaged. Unless you can fix him like you did the shop we have to go now.' How the hell Cordelia had become a higher being, Anya didn't know. When she had been called by her, to exact revenge against Xander, Cordelia had been your average high school Queen Bitch. Obviously a lot had changed.  
  
For the first time since she had arrived in front of Xander and Willow, Cordelia looked nervous. 'Right. Shouldn't be too hard. I healed Conner didn't I? I can do this.' All of this she muttered to herself as she slowly walked towards Giles, rubbing her hands together as she came.  
  
Giles, who had had one arm around Anya and the other propped against the doorframe, straightened painfully. Anya kept her arm around his waist, just in case.  
  
Finally paying attention to the demon, Cordelia felt a jolt of recognition 'Anya? I thought you were human now, and you and Xander are getting married!?'  
  
'Can we fix Giles now and catch up on the gossip later?' Xander called. Cordelia sensed some agitation from him, as well as a whole world of regret, but, she decided he was right. Fix Giles first, everything else could wait. Taking both of his hands in hers, she pictured Giles as he was when he was healthy. This was harder then she had anticipated, as examples of Giles's talent for getting knocked kept leaping to mind. Eventually she opened her eyes, and before her stood Giles, all fixed. He smiled at her  
  
'Thank you Cordelia. It seems a lot has happened to you since you moved to Los Angeles.' As he wrapped his arms round her, Cordelia felt pride and warmth and gratitude pouring out of him. She hugged him back, and held on for what felt like an age. She may not have seen him in three years, but the fatherly affection he felt for her was very real. She wondered for a moment if her own father had ever felt like that about her. If he had, she reflected, she had never known about it. She wondered if it would have made a difference in her life if he had.  
  
She leant back so she could look at him and smiled, although tears were threatening. 'You're way too important for us to let you go yet.' She hugged him again, and then stepped back.  
  
An awkward silence descended on the group. All immediate threats had been dealt with, no one was sure what the next was. Cordelia almost wished she hadn't rebuilt the shop. At least it would have given them something to do. Thankfully, whether human or demon, Anya was still about as tactful as a nuclear missile. 'So what happened? As an HB, couldn't you have stopped Willows' whole psycho murderer trip? What?' she demanded, taking in the pained looks around her. 'It's not as if you weren't all thinking it! As usual, I'm the only one with the guts to say it.'  
  
'It only just happened. Geez, pressure much? Besides, I get the feeling there's some stuff I don't get to interfere with. If I could actually fix things before they went wrong, that would make life way to easy, and people wouldn't get to fight and suffer and all and then there'd be no heroes, and then what would we do?'  
  
'Indeed' said Giles, drawing his glasses out of his pocket and beginning to polish them. 'It does rather beg the question of why are you here, though.' He smiled gently has he placed his glasses on his nose. 'It's not that we don't appreciate what you've done Cordelia. You've saved us a lot of time and money, and in my case pain, but fixing the shop, fixing me, transporting Willow and Xander here, all could have been done with out the use of your powers. No, I think there is a greater purpose behind your being here.'  
  
'Have you already started on that whole cryptic HB thing?' Anya took a step towards Cordelia. 'Do you really know why you're here, and aren't ready to tell us yet? Cause you know, none of this wasn't our fault. It was Willow who went nuts, the rest of us were trying to stop her and should in no way have to make up for what she did. Not that people don't sometimes make mistakes, and shouldn't be forgiven for them. Just, don't blame their friends, even when their friends have made mistakes too..'  
  
'An.' Xander interrupted Anyas' increasingly frantic sounding rant 'Cordelia's not here to punish Will. We already talked about it.' He turned to look at Cordelia 'But why are you here Cordy?'  
  
'I don't know' the other's looked at her, disbelieving. 'Really. I don't. Skip just told me I was needed here, so I thought about here, and then I was here. The only thing I know is I have to do is help Willow. Well, help all of you, but mainly Willow. She's the most in need of help right now. That's it.'  
  
'Skip?' Anya asked  
  
'Yeah. Her invisible friend.' Xander answered wearily. It wasn't that he didn't believe that Skip existed. He'd lived on the Hell mouth all his life. As long as it was a friendly invisible friend, he was happy. He was also tired. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept. He knew it was before Willow killed Warren, before Warren shot Buffy and Tara, before he and Buffy had made up. He hadn't slept the night before that either. Guilt over how he had treated Buffy and Anya mixed uncomfortably in his head with anger at the both, and hatred of Spike. God, he didn't know when he'd last had a proper rest, but he needed one now.  
  
A fearsome looking grey spiky guy appeared suddenly. He appeared in the same way Cordelia did, only much quicker. Xander took a deep breath and stepped in front of Willow. At least if this thing killed him, he'd get some sleep. From what Buffy said, heaven was a pretty cool place anyway.  
  
'Skip?!'  
  
'Anyanka?!' They both stared at each other 'Oh, you're the ex-demon who hooked up with the Slayer and her crew. I heard about that. Never would've guessed it was you though. Gotta tell ya' Anyanka, you're not looking too ex at the moment.'  
  
'Long story involving men being evil and me being right about vengeance. D'hoffran offered me my powers back, and I accepted, but then Willow went all nuts and I couldn't just leave. So here I am, vengeance demon helping guard the hellmouth. It's different. What about you? You're working for the Powers now?'  
  
'Yup. Have been for.oh.four, maybe five hundred years now. The hours suck but the benefits are cool.'  
  
'Excuse me? Could we have this happy reunion some other time? If it's not too inconvenient, I'd really like to know why I'm here? Y'know, what my mission is?'  
  
'Sorry, it's just been a while since we've seen each other. We used to have some times I can tell you.. But I won't. So you want to know why you're here. Short answer is, we don't know.'  
  
'Wha-'  
  
'The Powers know you are meant to be here now. There're a few other things you have to do, and then you all need to be here when it starts.'  
  
'Do you think you could vague that up a bit for me? Cause you know, I might actually get a clue about what I'm meant to be doing some time in the next millennium if you keep things that clear.'  
  
'Sorry. One of the things you'll find out about being a Higher Being is that you don't find more answers, just more questions. Okay. For now, you need to sort out the Slayer and her sister, who're gonna walk through that door in about five minutes. After everything's as smooth as you can make it here, you're gonna go and get Angel, the rest of that group and a few add ons. You all come back here, and it's talking time. After that, whatever's gonna happen, starts. Can't tell you much more I'm afraid. It's all misted after that.'  
  
'Okay, so we know where we're up to at the moment. We'll deal with Buffy and Dawn when they get here. Giles, you heard of any immanent Big Bads?'  
  
'Not that I can recall, no.'  
  
'Okay you guys start on the research, I'll -'  
  
'Cordelia, we're all exhausted.' Xander held up a hand to stop her from interrupting. 'None of us have slept in days. We won't be any good at researching now, because the minute we sit down we're all gonna fall asleep.'  
  
'That's okay' Skip intervened, 'we've got a few days before anything starts to happen.' He turned to Cordelia 'right now everyone needs to relax and recuperate. Start dealing with things so they're not going to fall apart when the next fight comes. Everyone needs some down time.'  
  
'Okay. I get that. Do I need to sleep anymore? I mean, I know it's not really relevant to the now, but do I still get to eat? Because missing out on chocolate fudge sundaes and cappuccinos would be a real down side to being a Higher Being.'  
  
Skip titled his head, amazed by the switch from save the world seriousness to total irreverence. 'As long as you're solid you can eat and taste, you can sleep and get your haircut and go shopping if you want. It's up to you. You don't need to do any of these things, but that doesn't mean you can't.'  
  
'Cool. Because if you'd told me I had to miss out on all those things, there'd be some serious reconsidering going on here mister.'  
  
The bell over the door jangled, announcing the entrance of Buffy and Dawn. They both froze in the doorway 'What happened?!' Buffy gasped, staring around. When she had left the shop, chasing after Willows' fireball, it had been in ruins, as had Giles. Now it was back to normal, and Giles was showing no ill effects. Reaching back, Buffy grabbed Dawns' hand, but managed to resist the impulse to shove her sister behind her. After the way she had fought when they'd been stuck in the crypt, Buffy doubted she would ever have to protect her sister again. Still, old habits died hard.  
  
Her gazed paused on Willow, who stood nervously beside Xander, staring at the ground and twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers. Next was Xander, a little bloodied and battered, but not looking too bad considering he'd just saved the world. Giles looked fine, the cuts on his face completely gone. He squared his shoulders, and smiled at her. Walking over to her, he wrapped an arm each around Buffy and Dawn. 'I'm so glad to see you both. Cordelia told us you were on your way, but I needed to see you both for myself.'  
  
Buffy reached up and ran her hand tentatively down his face 'You're really okay?'  
  
'I'm really okay.'  
  
'How? Not that I'm not really, really happy that you're okay, but how?' Buffy hugged him back, careful not to hang on too tight, but enjoying the solid feeling of the man she loved as her father in her arms.  
  
'Cordelia.' Giles answered simply, and gestured to the corner by the counter.  
  
Buffy and Dawn's eyes followed the gesture. At first they couldn't see anything, but then, slowly, a glow appeared, and resolved itself into Cordelia.  
  
'Hi.'  
  
'Cordelia!? What happened to you? What are you?'  
  
'Are ya' dead?' Dawn interrupted  
  
'Of course she's not dead. When I was dead did I come back and glow at you, and fix broken buildings?'  
  
'I kind of ascended, not like the Mayor,' she added hurriedly, as Buffy's look turned suspicious 'It was the Power's idea, not mine!! Anyway, for my first mission I get to help you lot sort yourselves out, and then fight the next apocolypsey Big Bad with you.'  
  
Buffy stared at her, incredulously 'You ascended? You're a Higher Being?'  
  
Cordelia stared back, waiting for the sarcastic quip she was sure was on its way.  
  
'Congratulations. Angel told me about the visions. I'm.. congratulations.' Buffy looked away, unsure of how to continue. She'd wanted to tell Cordelia that she was proud of her, how pleased she was that one of the Sunnydale gang had done so well, when she and the original Slayerettes were so screwed up, but she was scared it would sound patronizing, like she new so much about being a Higher Being.  
  
'Thanks. It's nice to know I can impress you, I never thought I would. And don't worry, we'll get you guys unscrewed pretty quick.'  
  
'How did you know..?'  
  
'Mind reading.'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'It's one of the pluses of being an HB. I can read minds and intentions and all that stuff. I wasn't trying to listen in then, you were looking me in the eye and I just heard it all. Sorry.' Cordelia shrugged. Her new powers were part of her. The Scooby Gang would just have to learn to deal with it.  
  
'No problem. Had a little experience with mind reading myself. You can turn it off though, right?' Buffy looked concerned, remembering her own brush with insanity in from that particular talent.  
  
'I can turn it down, so I don't really hear it, but if something big happens, it punches through. Don't worry. I'm not going to go nuts. My mind's.. different from your now.' Cordelia smiled at Dawn 'hey Dawnie, how ya doing? Wow.'  
  
'Wow? Wow what? What do you know Cordelia? What's going on?' Buffy grabbed Cordelia's arm, immediately worried by her sudden interest in Dawn.  
  
'Easy protecto girl. Just saw something in Dawnie I wasn't expecting.'  
  
Buffy relaxed fractionally, but still looked a little uneasy, as did Dawn. 'Look, Dawn was The Key, WAS. Now she's my sister and that's it. The monks made her from my blood, made all of our memories, but she's still my sister. As far as we're concerned she always was, and she always will be.'  
  
'The Key?' A new memory appeared in her mind, probably information sent by the Powers she guessed. 'Ah, The Key. Well maybe she was The Key, but not anymore. That fact that she was made from you explains a lot though.'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
'What?'  
  
'What are you talking about Cordelia?' Everyone started asking questions at once.  
  
Cordelia took a step back, holding up her hands 'Hello, motor mouths? If you'd all shut up I might be able to finish a sentence here.'  
  
For some reason this remnant of Queen C seemed to calm them all. This was still Cordelia, she wasn't a threat, well, not in the Big Bad sense of the word. 'Everyone finished? Good. Buffy, you and Dawn just had a battle with those mud, root monsters, right? And Dawnie helped you? She fought with you, alongside you, not just you protecting her, right?'  
  
'Yeah' said Buffy, not really seeing where this was going.  
  
'Dawn was really good in the fight. Not as good as you now, but as good as you were a few years ago?'  
  
'Yeah. Are we actually go anywhere with this, or are you just gonna ask me a bunch of questions?'  
  
'She's a Slayer.'  
  
'What!?!' was screeched in various different voices.  
  
'Dawn's a Slayer. Come on people. This shouldn't be a surprise to any of you. Think about it. Dawn was created from Buffy's blood. She was created to be 14, which means she's now 15. Buffy was called when she was 15. Take into account birthdays, or creation days or whatever you want to call it, and Dawn is the same age Buffy was when she was called. Being a Slayer is in the blood. When Dawn reached the age Buffy was when she was called, her Slayerness kicked in automatically. How can none of you have thought of this? Giles?'  
  
'Is she right Giles? Is it true? Is Dawn a Slayer?' Buffy turned to her former Watcher, taking Dawns' hand again.  
  
Cordelia fought the urge to duck, the thoughts and feelings flying around the room were so strong. She'd been focused on Buffy, so her responses came through loudest. Surprisingly, her first feeling was of relief I don't have to protect her anymore. Soon though, it was swamped by guilt, I don't want her to live the kind of life I've had to live. Always in the darkness, always fighting. She battled it back, and behind it, she found a spark of hope. Together. We can do it together. We can fight, and Giles can train her, like he trained me. If we work together, maybe we'll all make it. Looking back, Buffys eyes met Dawns'.  
  
I won't be a burden anymore. I can help, and we'll fight together, like we did in the crypt. Dawn smiled back at her sister, even as her eyes filled with tears. 'Is it true Giles? Am I a Slayer?'  
  
'I don't know.' Giles took his glasses off and began to polish them. 'From what Cordelia says, it does seem likely. Unfortunately, aside from throwing a knife at your head, which I don't think Buffy would agree to, I don't really know what to do to find out. The Council may know of a test, but as they don't know that Buffy is alive again, I'm loathe to let them know about either of you.' He hooked his glasses back on again, and put away his hanky.  
  
'So what do we do?' Buffy started to pace 'you wanna just send her out against some vamps and see how she does?!'  
  
'Buffy. Calm down.' Dawn lay a hand on her sister's arm 'we'll think of something.'  
  
'Err' Willow spoke for the first time since Buffy and Dawn had entered the Magic Box 'Maybe we could do a blood test. If we could find the Slayer ingredient in Buffys' blood is, we could see if it's in Dawnies blood too. Then we'd know for sure. I wouldn't have to do the test. Someone else could do it. You wouldn't have to let me near you with anything sharp.. Or, or maybe I could just not be here, and never be around you all again.' Willow seemed to shrink into herself as Buffy stared at her, no emotion visible on her face. 'I should go.' She started towards the door, giving Buffy and Dawn as wide a birth as possible.  
  
Xander caught her arm, stopping her forward momentum, but Buffys look stopped him from saying anything. 'You could do that.'  
  
Cordelia eyed Buffy. If she hadn't been able to sense Buffys intentions, she'd have been jumping in with both feet by now. The fact that Xander and Giles both kept their peace when Cordelia could feel how badly they wanted to comfort Willow, was testament to their faith in Buffy. Cordelia had to admit, to herself at least, she was a little surprised at Giles's feelings towards Willow. Having healed Giles's wounds, she'd seen just how badly off he was, all of it inflicted by Willow. Giles wasn't mad though. Looking closer, Cordelia saw why. Giles saw so much of himself in Willow. The academic who found the wild side. He understood the pull of dark magicks. He admired Willow because she had been strong enough to turn away from it. It had taken the death of a friend to make him turn away. Willow had stopped before she had gone that far, only to be knocked back into it by the senseless loss of Tara. When Angelus had killed Jenny, Giles only thought had been to destroy. He hadn't practised the craft in so long, he'd tried more conventional methods. If he'd had a loved one taken from him so son after he'd given up the magicks, the Ripper would have broken free, and the Gods alone knew what he would have been capable of. He was certain of one thing. Once on the path Willow had started on, with all that dark magick inside her, he would never have got off it, never have had the strength to turn away from the evil inside him. True, it was the magicks she had drawn out of him, and Xanders love for her that had allowed her to fight against the darkness, but without incredible inner strength, the fight would have torn her apart. Cordelia pulled back from Giles's thoughts, a little ashamed at having listened in, but glad she understood.  
  
Buffy stepped sideways, blocking Willows path to the door. 'You could run away from all the people here who love you. Or you could stay and fight.'  
  
Willow gaped at her 'What? How can you say that? How can you say you love me, after all I've done?! Oh God what I've done?!!!....' she hugged herself and started to rock back and to as the tears ran down her face.  
  
Buffy closed the gap between them, grabbing Willow and pulling her into an embrace when she tried to back off 'it's not going to be easy Will, it's going to make what you went through before look like a picnic, but we're not going to let you go away and disappear into the darkness. We all love you. That's why we fought so hard. Now we've got you back, we're never going to let go again.' By this time, Buffy was crying too, stroking Willows hair and rocking her gently.  
  
Eventually, Willow pulled back. As Buffy wiped the tears from her face, she returned the favour. 'Thank you. I don't deserve it but thank you all so much.' She held out a tentative hand to Dawn, who smiled, and then wrapped her arms around Willow and Buffy. She was bigger than both of them. Looking over their heads, she met Giles's eyes. He smiled, and he and Xander joined the group hug. Anya pointedly looked the other way until Dawn reached out a hand to her and pulled her in too.  
  
'Cordy, you gonna join us?'  
  
'Nah, I'll just stand over here and glow. If there was any more emotion coming off you lot, the roof'd be coming in again.'  
  
Slowly, they all split apart, with much sniffing and eye wiping. They continued to stand close together though. Ying them, Cordelia realised something. This group had been through so much together, nothing could keep them apart. She snorted. She supposed she should have guessed that earlier, like when death hadn't managed it.  
  
'I hate to say the thing that no one wants to hear, but hey, it's a habit. What about Warren? Anya glanced from face to face 'this whole group hug, everyone loves each other is very touching, but what if the police come asking questions? These things have to be considered, and having a person arrested for murder in the shop might be bad for business!'  
  
Giles put his arm around Willows shoulder, and looked reproachfully at Anya over his glasses. 'The shop really isn't a priority at the moment Anya.'  
  
'Yeah, and just think, you'd get loads of free publicity if Willow got arrested here!' Dawn added brightly. 'Sorry. Only trying to help.'  
  
Cordelia had spent most of this discussion looking at the ceiling. She was discovering that when the Powers decided she needed to know something, they just inserted it into her head. It was like an old memory resurfacing, the more she thought about it, the clearer it got. As Skip had faded out when Buffy walked in, it was the only way she was getting information at the moment.  
  
'You don't need to worry about the police.' Everyone turned to look at her again. She was glowing brighter. This was a new experience to Buffy and Dawn, but they took it in stride. 'He never got on with his parents, there's no body, and he was seen hanging around the bus station and the train station. Plus, he was a geek. No one cares. As far as the human world is concerned, you got away with it.'  
  
'What? But - No! That's wrong. I did this awful, terrible thing and I have to be punished!' Willow started to work herself up into a guilty frenzy again, but Cordelia cut her off.  
  
'Whoa girl!! I said the human world. My world, that's a whole different thing.' Willow looked somewhat mollified by this, Buffy on the other hand, looked scared, and when Buffy was scared for her friends, it usually turned to anger.  
  
'Look Cordelia., Willow has helped save the world I don't know how many times. Yeah, she screwed up, big time. But the Powers can't just make some arbitrary decision to punish her. I need her. The Slayer needs her! So they can't have her!'  
  
'There she goes again, protecto girl. As I was saying.' She looked sideways at Buffy '.The Powers feel that what you did was way up there on the really, REALLY bad idea scale. Warren had the makings of a major player for the dark side though, so you did us a favour getting rid of him. Your methods leave a lot to be desired though. Embracing the Dark Arts like that, and having the ability to channel that power makes you potentially a huge risk. The strength you showed in turning away from the darkness makes that risk worth while -'  
  
'Never again. I'm never touching the magicks again. I know I said that before, but this time I've seen just how bad it can get. I looked into the darkness, and I wanted it all. I'm never going near it again.'  
  
'Willow.' The look Cordelia gave her was full of compassion, and just a little bit of pity, and fear. 'You've lived on the hellmouth all your life. Do you honestly think it's going to be that simple?'  
  
Willow took a small step back, whilst Buffy and Dawn took her hands. 'W- what do you mean?'  
  
Good Cordelia thought as usual, the Scooby Gang sticks together. Maybe with all their help, she's got a chance to make it through this.  
  
'When you took all that magick into you, it changed you. Changed you physically. The good magick you took from Giles, and the love Xander offered you pretty, much cancelled out the evil in you, but the magick's still there. It's part of you. You're a magickal being now Willow. Your punishment is that you can't quit the magicks. It'll always be there, and you have to use it, or it'll explode out of you. You have to control it, or it'll control you. You've helped the Slayer for six years now, and that has been taken into consideration. You will continue to help her, but now you'll have a more active role in the fight.' All the time she had been speaking, Cordelia had glowed brighter still, and her voice had taken on a deeper, more resonant tone. Now her glow dimmed, and she returned to her normal speaking voice. 'Get Buffy or Giles to train you. Angel's been training me. It's actually kind of fun, and it takes all the guilt out of chocolate fudge cake if you've been kicked around a training mat by someone twenty times stronger than you for a couple of hours.'  
  
'That's it? That's my punishment? Carry on helping Buffy. I'd have done that anyway! It's too easy.'  
  
Giles looked at her sadly 'Do you really think so Willow? Knowing how much power you can wield? Remember what a little thing changing Tara's memory seemed to be? Every magickal action you take, you will have to weigh up, think over, second guess, but you can't just leave it, you have to do something, knowing you might be getting it totally wrong. Every spell you cast will remind you of what you have seen and done. You're not just one of the good guys now. You'll be on the path of redemption. A lot of people know about what happened here, and they'll come looking for you. Some to turn you, some to punish you. Just as Angel, and Faith became notorious, so will you. Are you ready to face that? Doesn't seem so easy now, does it?'  
  
Cordelia looked around the room 'Just remember, you all have each other, and I have a feeling there are going to be more.' She looked up 'I've gotta go now, I'm being called. You guys get some sleep, and talk things out. I'll be back, maybe in a day or so.' With that, she glowed brighter, and then faded away.  
  
'Well,' said Xander, giving Willow one last hug 'as exciting as all this has been, I need to get to a bed or I'm calling dibs on the counter.'  
  
'Xander's right. We all need to sleep. How about we meet up again tomorrow, here at 10.00 and try and make some sense of all this?' Buffy hooked an arm through Willow's, and the other through Dawns 'come on guys, lets go home.'  
  
The End - For now..  
  
Hopefully, this is going to turn into a series, I've got it all planned out in my head, I've just got to find time around dull things like work to it all written down. 


	2. Part 2 Faith

Disclaimer: BtVS and Angel are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and UPN and the WB respectively. L.A Law belongs to Steven Bochco (I think) I make no money off this.  
  
Thanks to Laurwen Aredhel for the comments, and everyone else who reviewed.  
  
Yes, I know it's over emotional for Faith, but I figured she's done a lot of thinking in prison, and is working on being more open with people. That and about half the story would have been in italics if I'd kept her as quiet about her feelings as she was in the show.  
  
Anything in italics is thought.  
  
Constructive criticism always welcome.  
  
On to the story.  
  
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Faith sat in her cell, waiting. She didn't know what she was waiting for but she knew something was going to happen soon. She'd been having Slayer dreams again recently, nothing very clear, sometimes she was in Sunnyvale, sometimes in LA with Angel. Sometimes she didn't know where she was, but she was free and she was fighting. She knew that she was fighting for the right side again too. The darkness was a part of her now, it would always be there, but she recognised it and knew how to beat it. She wouldn't be seduced by it again.  
  
Willow and Wesley appeared in her dreams a lot. She didn't know why. Sometimes they appeared as herself, when she was falling into darkness, other times she would see them in their everyday lives, but somehow twisted, as if they had been infected by evil, as she had. Willow seemed the darker of the two, but Wesley was catching up fast. She thought it might have something to do with how badly she had treated them both, showing that if they had given in to evil instead of her they could have done just as much damage as she did, or a whole lot more. Being a Slayer didn't make her a special target for evil, she had just been weak, easily manipulated.  
  
She didn't understand and without Giles, or Wesley there to help her interpret, she didn't figure she was going to.  
  
Dreams weren't the only thing swirling in Faiths mind that night. Above all else was her appeal. She hadn't told Angel about it. He'd been gone when it had all begun, on his retreat, grieving for Buffy. When he came back she decided not to tell him about it. Part of her worried he would think she hadn't suffered enough and she shouldn't get out yet. Another part didn't want to tell him in case she lost the appeal, and didn't get out.  
  
Back in August of the previous year, the Watchers Council had sent someone to see her. She'd known Buffy had died. No one told her, but she had known. She felt Buffy's soul leaving the earth, and realised she was the only Slayer now. It was a very lonely feeling. She figured that was why Angel hadn't been to see her in a couple of months, and she understood. The love the vampire carried for the lost Slayer was something she couldn't comprehend, but envied it none the less.  
  
The representative the council sent treated her with a mixture of terror, awe condescendtion and disgust. Faith still wasn't sure how he'd pulled off such a combo, but he had. Maybe it was a British thing.  
  
He had explained to her that while the Council abhord what she had done, she was the only living Slayer at the moment, and she needed to be out there fighting, not rotting in a jail cell. When Faith asked him why they didn't just kill her and activate the next Slayer, her visitor, who had introduced himself as John Cunningham, at least had the grace to blush.  
  
'You must understand Faith, that in the current climate we need an experienced Slayer out there. The forces of evil have been on the advance recently and must be fought by those best qualified. The death of Miss Summers means that that person is you.' Faith was quite shocked by this. The last three times she had seen anyone from the council who wasn't Giles or Wesley, they had tried to kidnap or kill her. Now they wanted her back on the team. Weird. 'A new Slayer now would most likely get killed before she could begin to reach her full potential. She wouldn't be able to defeat whatever evil she was up against, and may well end up exacerbating the situation. You on the other hand have a proven record of beating whatever you go up against, with the exception of Miss Summers and' he sniffed 'the vampire Angelus'  
  
'Angel' Faith snarled, leaning towards him.  
  
Cunningham jumped in his seat. Until then, Faith had not lived up to his image of the rogue Slayer. She hadn't welcomed him with open arms, but she hadn't thrown him to the floor and threatened to 'pop his head like a grape' either which, considering her previous dealings with his employers, wouldn't have surprised him at all. The Councils wet works teams were notoriously good at what they did, meaning they were a bunch of nasty bastards. He doubted she had many fond memories of them. Her reaction to his mention of Angelus was the first time she had shown any emotion at all though. What was it about this vampire, he wondered, that inspired such loyalty from the Slayers? Even Kendra, much more a watchers' Slayer than either Buffy or Faith, hadn't killed him when she had had the chance.  
  
Faith noticed the fear that played across his face at her sudden move, and the curiosity. She understood both. He obviously knew what she had done, and had every reason to fear her. As a member of the Council he knew all about Angel's history, and Angelus's. Like many people, he couldn't separate the two, and so couldn't understand how a Slayer, particularly this Slayer, could care about him.  
  
Faith sat back in her seat and tried to calm herself. 'Look' she said, her loyalty to Angel forcing her past her current apathy towards almost everything 'Angel's one of the good guys now. You can even ask the Powers That Be' At Cunningham's disbelieving look, she heaved a sigh 'Put it this way. If it wasn't for Angel you wouldn't be here asking me to join the fight again. I'd either be dead, or leading this "evil advance" you've got going on, so leave Angel out of this.' she paused, suddenly weary. 'Anyway, why don't you get to the point? You didn't come here to talk about Angel, and I can't see any reason for talking to me. In case you hadn't noticed I'm in jail for murder. I can't just walk out of here any time I choose without having to fight my way past a whole lot of guards, something I am not prepared to do.'  
  
'We know that Faith' Cunningham replied, relieved that she seemed to have calmed down again. 'We also know that you pled guilty to all the charges laid against you, and refused representation.' He leant forwards across the table 'we've had access to your psychiatric reviews since you were sent here.' Faith scowled, not liking the idea of the Council knowing about her sessions with the shrink and the councillor. They were private. She was finally learning to speak of the past, a heavily edited version of what she'd done and why she'd done it. To know that the organisation that had tried to kill her knew all about her inner most fears and feelings left her feeling vulnerable, exposed. She hissed angrily.  
  
'Now Faith, think about this' Cunningham continued quickly, not liking the anger spreading over her face 'How could the Council in all conscience offer you the opportunity to become an active Slayer again without first scrutinising your mental stability?'  
  
Faith subsided into her chair. She wasn't happy about it, but she supposed after everything she had done she wasn't really in any position to complain.  
  
She nodded for him to continue 'as I've said, from your psychiatric evaluations we feel you are now ready to carry out your duties as the Slayer. Having studied your criminal record and the events leading up to your being sent here, the Council feels we have excellent grounds for appeal to get you released, and have engaged the services of a prominent LA law firm in this matter.'  
  
Her head came up sharply, her eyes hard on Cunningham 'what law firm? It better not be Wolfram & Hart!'  
  
Cunningham was somewhat taken aback by this sudden vehement reaction. He knew a lot of people disliked lawyers, but her behaviour was somewhat extreme, even when taking that into account. 'No, the firm is called Kuzak, Serfwentez & Van Owen. They've been around for about 10 years and are very well respected. Before that all three of the partners worked for MacKenzie Brackman, one of the oldest and most respected law firms in the city. They have a very good reputation.'  
  
Trust me, doesn't mean much.' Faith muttered, but then motioned for him to continue.  
  
'Michael Kuzak, the senior partner, has agreed to represent you. He's already looked at the evidence and says he'll be able to get you out of jail as soon as they can get your case into court. You might even get an apology.'  
  
Faith looked at him questioningly 'Mr Kuzak is unaware of your special ..gifts. The physical evidence proves you couldn't possibly have committed the murders or the assaults. How could a 5'3" girl ram a wooden stake into the heart of a young, fit man, with enough force to punch a hole in his breastbone, but fast enough not to shatter it? Similarly, there was no physical evidence of you having been in a fight when you were arrested. If you had beaten people up the way they claim you did, surely your knuckles at least would show some bruising? Your guilt over your treatment of your best friend, which was mentioned in passing during your confession, meant you felt a need to be punished, hence your refusal of counsel, when continuing psychiatric evaluations prove that you were mentally unstable at the time and severely depressed, to the point of suicide even. You should have been tried as a minor and given counselling before any decisions about locking you up were made. Instead, over zealous assistant district attorneys decided to make an example of you, a girl the system had let down time and again, and threw the book at you.'  
  
'That's the defence we're going to use. Pretty convincing I think.'  
  
'It's very convincing. It almost has me believing it. There's only one problem. I'm guilty. All those things they accused me of, I copped to them because it was right. I did all those things and now I'm getting what I deserve. I don't deserve to get let out of here, to run around free, whilst so many of the people I hurt are still having to deal with it, whilst Buffy is lying in the ground, dead because she had to fight a hell God by herself whilst there was another Slayer in jail because of how badly she had screwed up, instead of there helping her like she should have been!!' Faith's indignation grew with every word. Who did this guy think he was? Coming here and telling her how they were going to prove her innocent and make everything okay!? Couldn't he see things would never be okay again? She was doing penance, working towards her redemption. Getting out now would be giving up on that.  
  
Cunningham looked at her, dead in the eye 'and is it fair that the whole world suffers because there isn't an active Slayer at the moment?' Faith looked startled 'You have to understand Faith, when Miss Summers died, no new Slayer was called. The Slayer to follow Miss Summers had already been activated, Kendra, and you followed her. Whatever it is that a Slayer dieing does to call the next Slayer, apparently it only works once. Coming back from the dead doesn't recharge that particular battery.'  
  
Faith sat back, shocked. So she was it huh? She thought back over all the things she had done, good and bad. Maybe this was her chance after all. Instead of sitting on her arse, rotting, she had to get back out there. She would fight and maybe die, but that was what being a Slayer meant. She had fought before, saved the world even. She would do it again.  
  
She straightened in her chair. To Cunningham, it was as if the spirit of the first Slayer had entered her again, giving her back her purpose. She nodded to him 'Okay. I'm in. What do I have to do?'  
  
'In simplest terms, what you're told.' Faith raised an eyebrow 'The Council will get in touch with further instructions, but the basic rule is do what your lawyer tells you. Kuzak has an excellent reputation, if he tells you to wear pretty dresses and behave like the demure, scared child you're not, you do it. The wheels of justice turn slowly, and we need you out there as soon as possible. Whatever he tells you to do, you do. He's the expert, and we would prefer if at all possible that Mr Kuzak does not find out what you truly are. Your identity is supposed to be secret remember.'  
  
'Okay, I can handle that.'  
  
Looking back, Faith hadn't realised just how long her appeal would take. Almost a year. It would have really sucked if she had been innocent, she mused. She was surprised it had gotten this far. After Buffy had been brought back she thought the Council would drop her like a hot brick, leaving her to rot. Either that or they would have her killed now, seeing as there was again an experienced Slayer. She could fight the immediate battles, and the new Slayer would have time to get up to speed before she had to face any real Big Bads and still be the Councils pet. To her surprise, neither had happened. She realised some time later that the Council didn't know Buffy was back. Faith supposed that wasn't really a shock, no one had told her, again. She had felt Buffy return, felt some very powerful magicks at work, but she couldn't explain it. It was all just Slayer senses telling her stuff no one else knew. Buffy had never got on well with the Council, she probably wasn't going to announce to them she was back so they could annoy her all over again. Faith figured it was in everyone's best interest if she kept her mouth shut.  
  
Angel started visiting again. He apologised for not coming to see her in so long, but Faith reassured him that she understood. She hugged the secret of her appeal to herself, and when Angel confirmed that Buffy was back, she hugged it a little tighter. His visits became less frequent. Faith decided she must be on her way to being a better person because she wasn't really mad. When Angel had told her about Connor, she had been delighted for him, she'd even cried a little. Neither of them ever mentioned that again. It gave her some hope. Angel had been given this great gift, maybe a reward? for all his had work. Maybe one day, if she worked hard enough at her redemption, maybe she would be given someone to love too. When Angel told her about Wesley giving Connor to Holtz, and Holtz taking Connor to the Kurtogh, Faith had truly feared for him, and what he might become. Although she was angry with Wes, she could never hate him. She had caused him too much pain to ever feel able to judge him. And now Connor was back. Angel told her he knew it would be hard work, earning his trust and his love, but then if anyone understood hard work, it was Angel.  
  
So she waited, staring at the ceiling of her cell. Her cellmate was a newbie, she'd been sent down less than a month ago. Terry, that was her name, had heard of Faiths' rep as soon as she had been marched in the door. As long as you didn't bother Faith, and didn't pick on any of the weak ones in front of her, she didn't bother you. And you didn't want Faith to bother with you. So Terry kept quiet and Faith stayed content.  
  
She had to be in court tomorrow. Her day of reckoning had arrived. Michael said she should be let out immediately and that it was a travesty that she was being kept in now. It was almost a forgone conclusion that her conviction would be quashed. Added to the mountain of physical evidence they had, was the fact that the detective leading the investigation had been 'chucked off the force cos she was a basket case' was Michael's description. Detective Kate Lockley. Ex-detective Kate Lockley now. Angel said she was doing much better, although Faith didn't mention that to Michael. He had been Michael since about a week into her appeal. The only person she'd ever been able to call 'Sir' without sneering was the Mayor. Mr Kuzak made him sound too much like an old geezer, and being who she was, Faith had told him that. He had suggested Michael, as it was his name. If he was going to call her Faith, she may as well call him Michael he said. So she did.  
  
She remembered her first meeting with her lawyer. Her first impressions had been of competence, and confidence. She'd judged him to be in his late forties, wavy brown hair with a hint of grey at the temples, melting brown eyes and a strong chin with a sexy dent in it. She'd been in an all female prison for over a year now, and girls had just never done it for her. This guy really got her motor running. Unfortunately, Cunningham was there to chaperone so she had to behave. She had a feeling he'd been expecting her reaction, and he had spent fifteen minutes before the interview with Michael telling her how she must behave herself, and how lucky she was that Michael had taken her case. She was really hoping to get lucky.  
  
After the first half hour of Cunningham jumping on everything she tried to say, Michael chucked him out of the interview room. Told him Faith was his client now, and he'd send Cunningham a progress report when he had time. Cunningham tried to splutter something about remembering who paid his bills, but Michael reminded him that it was he, Cunningham and his organisation, who wanted Faith out of jail. They were paying for the best. They would only get the best if they let him do his job. Faith decided there and then that she liked him, and would do her best to trust him.  
  
As time passed, she discovered that he liked her too. Not in the way she'd been hoping, but he liked her as a person, and she didn't have enough friends to start turning them away. It was a bit like being with the Mayor again, having a father figure to care about her again. Of course, Michael wasn't obsessive / compulsive about germs and didn't tell her to kill people, but he cared. It was comforting. It made it difficult for Faith to lie to him at times. He was so genuinely outraged by the way she had been treated, not just her conviction, but her placement in foster homes, and then the system losing track of her completely. That, of course, was when she had been called as a Slayer, and had hooked up with her first watcher, Linda. Linda was dead now. Faith had watched as she was murdered by Kokistos. She tried not to think of it too much. Still, Michael was talking about public apologies and compensation. A public apology would bring her way too much publicity. Wolfram & Hart, amongst her many enemies would see it and come gunning for her. Actually, Wolfram & Hart might just try and get her sent back to jail, but Michael would fight that. Faith didn't want Michael in danger, especially because he had tried to help her. She wouldn't feel comfortable taking compensation either, it would feel to much like blood money, getting paid for all the wrong she had done. On the other hand, maybe she could give the money to Angel, and they could use it to fight evil. She was planning on asking Angel for a job when (if) she got out. She knew that idea might cause some problems for Cordelia, and Wes if Angel ever forgave him.  
  
She'd cross that bridge when she came to it she decided.  
  
So now she lay in the dark, waiting for her day in court. Dawn was coming, she could tell. The vampires and the demons would be going home to bed, full from whatever innocent they had devoured this night. Maybe tomorrow night she would be out there, hunting the monsters.  
  
She stared at the ceiling, she could just make it out in the darkness, and she willed time to go faster, so the waiting would be over.  
  
When the bell rang for morning inspection, Faith climbed off her top bunk. She hadn't slept a wink, but then, as a Slayer she'd never needed much sleep. Two or three hours a night was a max, and she could quite happily go three days without any.  
  
Terry timidly put a hand on her arm 'Good luck'  
  
'Thanks' Faith looked at her, really looked for the first time. She saw the fear in Terry's eyes. One thing Faith had never felt in here was fear of violence. She hated being locked up, but she'd never feared a good fight. She was built for fighting. After a couple of throw downs in the yard, everyone had realised Faith was pretty much indestructible. The occasional transfer would try and make a name for herself, but even that stopped after everyone saw her catch the knife Loopie Martinez threw at her head and then lift her 250lb bulk off the ground with just one hand at her throat, without even breaking a sweat. Yeah, the people here knew Faith was different. They didn't talk about it though. It was all part of the code. She realised now she should have done more to help people, protect the weaker ones. Sure this was prison, and they were all guilty of something, but there were degrees of guilt and innocence. She new that better than anyone. Damn. This helping people thing was harder than it sounded.  
  
She looked back at Terry 'If you need any help, ya' know, when you get out, look me up. You'll be able to contact me through Angel Investigations.assuming I get out' Faith laughed at the end, trying for a joke. It was pretty weak, and Terry didn't seem to know what to say, but she smiled shyly and nodded her head.  
  
As first steps went, it hadn't been to painful Faith decided.  
  
The guards came for her then. She had to get changed into a dress, pretty and innocent looking. Michael had had one of the partners at his law firm pick it out for her. It wasn't as flowery and flowing as the one the Mayor had given her, for which she would be eternally grateful. More fitted, it could have been worn under a suit or to a dinner party. Wouldn't Xander have a fit if he saw her now! The thought occurred to her out of nowhere, and made her smile. Michael chose that moment to walk into the interview room she was waiting in. He looked her up and down 'What do you think Gracy?' he asked the distinguished blonde who came in behind him. She was beautiful, Faith thought, that kind of cool, unflustered beauty that she herself would never be able to pull off.  
  
'Classy, cool, responsible. Grace Van Owen' she said, holding out her hand to Faith. Faith, having wondered who this woman was, made the connection as she reached to shake 'You're one of the partners in Michaels' law firm. Nice to meet you' A thought suddenly occurred to her 'There aren't any problems are there? You're not backing out on me are you!' The last came out sounding like more of a threat than she'd intended. She smiled weakly to try and cover it, but Michael just smiled, used to her temperament by now. He understood it was fear of betrayal, and experience, that made her jump to the worst conclusion. 'No one's backing out Faith. I asked Grace to come because I want her to sit as second chair today.'  
  
Grace smiled warmly 'Think of it as making sure all your bases are covered. There shouldn't really be any need for Michael to say anything today, the judge should just make his decision, but you know what it's like..'  
  
'As soon as you relax something tries to bite you in the ass?' Faith calmed down again. 'Sorry, guess I'm kind of tense.'  
  
'Don't worry Faith. Gracey here used to be a judge, and was known as a fairly strict one. If Judge Carter sees her backing you, because he knows Gracey wouldn't take second chair if she didn't back you 100%, it might add just that little bit more weight to the case.'  
  
'Not that your case isn't already weighty' Grace added hurriedly, 'but a little extra is never going to hurt.'  
  
Faith smiled at her properly then, and Grace got a glimpse of why Michael had come to care so much about this young woman. Life hadn't been fair on her.  
  
'Lets go then' Michael said. 'There are a few things I want to go over with you on the way to the court house, so I'll be in the van with you. We'll meet Grace there, okay?'  
  
'Okay'  
  
The guards nodded as Faith was lead out. For people in their job, it was tantamount to throwing their arms around her and weeping. The guards knew that Faith had made their job a lot easier, keeping order in the prison, and she could have made it a lot harder. Things were going to change with her gone.  
  
Both Michael and Grace noticed. Michael had become used to the guards' treatment of Faith, but Grace was shocked. She had never seen an inmate, particularly a murder convict treated in that way, even if she was on her way to appeal.  
  
During the ride to the courthouse, Michael did his best to reassure Faith, explaining what he thought would happen, and because he knew she liked to be prepared for the worst, what he didn't think would happen but was possible. Faith appreciated his efforts, but couldn't tell him how much she feared Wolfram & Hart were going to show up and wreck everything. She'd been careful, refusing Michaels suggestions on publicity, but even so.. They were a demon law firm. Was there anything they didn't know? All she could do now was hope for the best and if the time came, protect Michael.  
  
Outside the courtroom, Grace and a very good looking Hispanic man, whom Grace introduced as Victor Sifwentez, waited for them. He smiled as he shook Faiths' hand 'After all the things Mikey told us about you, I had to be here.'  
  
'Mikey' Faith raised an eyebrow.  
  
'Let's get inside, shall we' Michael ignored the comment completely and led Faith to the door. He paused, taking her by the shoulders so he could look her straight in the eye. 'We're going to win this. I'm going to get you out of there.' He promised. 'You just need to have a little..faith. I care about you and I'm not going to let them send you back there, not one more day.'  
  
Faith looked away, tears burning in her eyes. She didn't deserve this kind of devotion. 'I know you do.' She struggled against the urge to ay something flippant, anything to decrease the tension, but held it back. Michael didn't deserve anything but her greatest admiration. The only way she could see to pay back his kindness, his support and belief, was to win this appeal, and start to fight again. She raised her head, and looked him in the eye 'lets do it.'  
  
As Victor opened the door, Faith braced herself, certain she was going to see Lindsay or Lilah, or whatever the one she had beaten the crap out of was called, waiting for her, ready to crush her hopes and send her back. But there was no one. Just a few law students taking notes, and what looked like a couple of office workers looking for somewhere different to have their lunch. Michael took her arm, leading her to her seat, with Grace standing close on the other side. She saw the judge nod at Grace while she stood waiting for the instruction to sit. After that it was all a blur until -'Defendant is found not guilty. All convictions are hereby quashed with the apologies of the California judicial system.' Crack! The gavel came down. Faith realised she was standing again, and she was staring at the judge, not believing it was real. 'You're free to go Miss' the judge spoke directly to her, smiling. Faith just nodded, dazed, and then Michael had his arms around her, and Grace too, and Faith was crying. She hadn't cried like this since the night she had begged Angel to kill her she realised. She had come along way since then, and she would keep going.  
  
Eventually she stopped crying and Michael helped mop her up with his handkerchief. When they got outside the courtroom, he hugged her again, and then holding her face in his hands, pressed an exuberant kiss to her forehead. 'We did it Faith. You're free. You can do anything you want now. What do you want to do? You can pick anything!' He seemed so pleased, so excited, and so did Grace and Victor. Faith found it infectious.  
  
'What I really wanna do is..eat! Prison food sucks, I want a steak and a burger and Chinese. God, anything but that crap that I've been eating!'  
  
'Let's go out to dinner then. All four of us, my treat. A celebration dinner just for you.'  
  
Her guilt tried to kick in, but then she realised she couldn't rain on Michael's parade. He was so pleased for her. He had, from his point of view at least, righted a great wrong, and he really cared about her, and she really wanted some decent food!! 'Five by five. Let's eat.'  
  
Three hours later, even Faith couldn't eat anymore. She'd stuffed herself on steak and new potatos, lasagne, smoked salmon and the best chocolate fudge Sunday ever for dessert. Grace stared at her 'where do you put it all?!' she exclaimed 'I swear, if I ate that much, I'd explode!'  
  
Faith grinned in reply 'It's all in the metabolism. Besides, you try prison food for two years..' She trailed off.  
  
'Faith,' Michael began 'I know a terrible thing was done to you, and you have every right to your emotions, but you have to try and move on. You've lost two years of your life and that's a tradgdy, but to lose more because you can't get past your anger and hate. that would be far worse. I've come to care about you a great deal over the last year Faith. We've discussed this,' he indicated himself, Grace and Victor, 'and we'd like to offer you a job. It'd just be filing and stuff at first, but you're quick and you're smart. We'd be prepared to fund you if you wanted to go to College. I helped get you out of there Faith, now let me help you get your life going again.'  
  
Faith just stared at him, lost for words, unable to name the emotions churning inside her. She knew that in the old days, she would have thrown the offer back in their faces, sneering at their weakness, wondering what they wanted from her, and more than anything, she would have refused it because she wanted it so badly. She could taste it. If people gave you something you wanted so badly, there were strings, they could take it away from you, and then the pain would come back, and it would be even worse. Better to say no now, and not have to deal with the pain later. Part of her still wanted to react like that. But, she reminded herself, she had changed.  
  
She wasn't a totally different person though. 'Why? Why would you do that for me?'  
  
'Because you've had a rough ride. A lot of bad things have been done to you that should never have been allow-'  
  
Faith cut Michael off with swipe of her hand. 'Don't make me out to be some saint Michael.' She recognised the emotion now. It was guilt. These people had gone out of their way to help her, and she didn't deserve it. They had believed in her, and she had lied to them. 'I did some pretty terrible things, and I deserved to be in there. I never tried to get the world sucked into hell, but I wouldn't have tried to stop it if someone else did.' Michael, Grace and Victor exchanged meaningful glances. They didn't believe her, and she would never, could never tell them the truth about what she was. It would put them in too much danger, but at the same time she couldn't handle the sympathetic, compassionate glances they all kept shooting her. They thought she was so brave and stoic, not being angry at the system that had screwed her, hording her misplaced and amplified guilt over her treatment of her old friend. She seemed to remember that comment from court. She hated the lies that stood between them. 'If the circumstances hadn't changed, I'd still be in there now, like I'm should be.' She took a deep breath, calming herself 'please don't think I'm not grateful for everything you've done for me. You've been wonderful, more than I ever thought was possible, but there's stuff I've gotta do now. Some of it's to make up for what I did before, but mostly it's just doing what I was meant to do. What I was born for. I'll never forget what you've done for me, and if you're ever in trouble, the weird kind anyway, please call me. You'll be able to contact me through Angel Investigations I hope.' When Michael moved to interrupt again, she placed a gentle hand on his arm. 'This is what I have to do.' She said simply.  
  
'Whatever you want to do Faith, we'll support you in any way we can.' Grace smiled at her gently. 'But you have to promise that you'll keep in touch, and you'll let us know if there's ever anything you need help with.' Michael and Victor nodded in agreement.  
  
'Thank you. Thank you so much. I promise I'll keep in touch, and actually, there is something you could do for me now.'  
  
'Anything you need Faith' Michael smiled at her, letting her know he wasn't offended by her rejection of their offer.  
  
'Can I have that pencil? The wooden one.' They all just looked at her, bemused. 'It's a comfort thing' she explained hastily, 'just in case I need to leave someone a note. Are we ready to go?'  
  
'Sure. Do you have somewhere to go tonight Faith, because if you want, you could stay with me or Gracey for a few days whilst you get used to life again.'  
  
Faith smiled at Michaels' offer How can he be a cute, rich lawyer and still be that nice? It shouldn't be possible! 'I'm five by five, thanks though. I've got a friend I can crash with. He owns a hotel, so there'll be loads of room. I'll just walk you guys to your car and then head on over there.'  
  
'Well come on then girl, at least let us give you a ride over there. We want to know where we can find you if we need you!' She was about to refuse Victors' offer, when she saw the look that passed between them. They thought she was lying, that she didn't have any place to go, but was too proud to admit it. The fact that no one had turned up at her appeal did lend credence to the theory that she didn't have anyone out there willing to take her in.  
  
'Sure that'd be great.' She grinned, and started walking down the now darkened street towards the car, which was parked in a little ally off to the side. Shit, shouldn't have eaten as much. We stayed way to long in there. Now it's past sundown, still, it's a pretty busy street. Hopefully we can get to the car before - suddenly, Faiths spider sense went haywire - too late.  
  
'Get in the car!' she yelled, trying to get between the three lawyers and the two vamps that had appeared in the ally. She heard a gasp behind her, and turning sideways and taking a couple of steps back, saw that a third vamp had Gracey, his arm wrapped around her throat from behind, pulling her head back and exposing her jugular to his fangs.  
  
'Wolfram & Hart has a proposition for you Slayer' the one holding Gracey spoke. 'Come back and work for us, and everything can be the way it was. We used to do a lot of business with Mayor Wilkins you know. It'll be just like a family reunion' He jerked Gracey's head back further, knicking her skin with his fang, and causing a trickle of blood to run down her neck. Gracey let out a strangled gasp, but managed to stay still. She sensed that the thing holding her would take great delight in hurting her more if she struggled. 'What'll it be Slayer? You're gonna be needing new representation in the very near future. Why not let the people who understand true nature look after you?'  
  
'Let them go! Just let them go and I'll come with you.' Faith actually had no intention of going with the vamps. She was playing for time, frantically running through scenarios in her head. She knew she could take out the two vamps who had come out of the ally without too much trouble, but if she attacked them, the one holding Gracey would doubtless bite her, and keep her as a hostage. Going for him would be trickier, but even if she could get him, the other two would go for Michael and Victor. 'Michael, Victor, I want you to get in the car -'  
  
'Take one step and your friend's dead before she hits the ground.' He licked the blood that was sliding down Gracey's neck. 'No games Slayer, we know who you are and what you've done. The Special Projects Director wants you unharmed, but Wolfram and Hart doesn't like people steeling their clients! So if you want your friends to walk away from this, you do exactly what we -' A look of amazement crossed the vampires' face, before he exploded into dust.  
  
'Heard you were getting out today. Thought they might have heard too.' Kate Lockley stepped out from behind Gracey, a stake held in her right hand. She nodded her head 'behind you'  
  
Slightly confused by Kate's attitude, being willing to take it at face value for now, Faith grinned 'Thanks,' As she turned to face the two remaining vamps, her grin turned feral. Until that moment, they had been unsure what to do. Their leader had impressed upon them how important it was to get Faith for Wolfram & Hart, and just how much of a bad idea it was to disappoint the law firm. On the other hand, their leader was dead, and they were faced with the infamous Dark Slayer. 'Gonna make me chase you boys?' Faith purred. The two vamps looked at each other and ran. 'Oh goody. It's been a long time since I've had a proper workout.' Taking three steps, Faith launched herself at the fleeing vampires. She landed on the shoulders of one, causing him to crash into his companion, all three of them landing in a heap on the floor.  
  
Michael finally came out of the daze he'd been in and moved forward to help Faith. Kate caught his arm. 'Leave her councillor. You won't be able to help, and you may well get in her way.' Seeing the look of disbelief on his and Victors' faces, she pointed 'look'  
  
Faith and the smaller of the two vampires scrambled to their feet. He took a wild swing, just clipping her jaw. Her head snapped round and then she looked back at him 'that all you got?' she threw a round house, followed up quickly by an outward crescent kick, sending the vampire reeling. With a jump back kick, he crashed into a wall and crumbled to the floor. 'Don't go anywhere suga. I'll be right back.' As she turned back to the larger vampire, she saw he was already on his feet, and charging at her. Accepting his momentum as he hit her, Faith dropped and rolled onto her back. Posting one foot into the fast moving vamps' stomach, she sent him flying over her head, to crash into the wall just next to his friend. Marching over to the undead pile of limbs, Faith grabbed the biggest one by the shoulder and hauled him to his feet. 'I'm sure B would have some clever quip for ya' but I really just want you gone.' Saying that, she drew the pencil she'd gotten from Gracey earlier out of her pocket and rammed it home. She dimly heard Michaels' gasp of dismay, which turned into a yelp as the vamp turned to dust. Grabbing the second vamp, Faith staked him before he had chance to fight back.  
  
Rolling her shoulders, she walked back to the others. 'Damn. Didn't even break a sweat. Those guys were newbies, and weak with it. Wolfram & Hart must be slipping.'  
  
'Don't be too hard on them' Kate replied, smiling. 'The last vampire you fought was Angel. He is a bit different from your everyday blood sucker.' Taking in the stunned faces of the three lawyers, Kate's smile turned mischievous. 'I take it they didn't know?'  
  
'No.' This is not going to be fun. 'Michael, Gracey? Are you okay? He just grazed the skin didn't he?' she stepped closer to examine the wound on Gracey's neck. 'Yeah. It's already stopped bleeding.'  
  
'What the hell just happened?!' The words exploded out of Michael as his head swivelled between Faith and Kate. Victor had wrapped his arms around Gracey, and was hanging on like there was no tomorrow. 'What was that!?'  
  
Seeing that Faith had started to look unsure of herself, Kate stepped forward. 'Councillor, my name is Kate Lockley.'  
  
Michaels' wild eyes locked on Kate. 'You're the one who arrested her. You had Faith sent to jail for crimes she couldn't possibly..' Faith saw it in his eyes, the moment what he had just seen caught up with what he already he knew. His eyes, that had always been so warm and caring, turned cold. 'Explain.'  
  
This is it. This is what I'm going to have to face everyday when people find out what I did. Shit. He cared about me. He cared about me and now he's wondering what to believe. No one said this redemption trip was easy though, so here goes. 'It's kind of a long story, and a lot of it's difficult to believe, even after what you've seen tonight. Shit, this is difficult. I don't even know where to start.'  
  
'What just happened? How about you start with that?' Victor joined the conversation, his arms still tight around Grace. 'Because I gotta tell you, I had one glass of wine with my meal, and that ain't enough for me to start seeing vampires!! That's what those things were, wasn't it? And they seemed to know you Faith. And what the hell have Wolfram & Hart got to do with it? They're one of the oldest, most respected law firms in the city!' He took a breath, and lay his forehead on Gracey's. Angel used to do that, Faith suddenly remembered, with Buffy, after a big fight. Just for comfort, to physically feel that she was still whole.  
  
Faith glanced at Kate, who nodded in support obviously a lot's changed there since we last met. Right now, I'm not going to question it. She looked a Michael, who gazed back implacably, and then over at Victor and Grace, who were still wrapped in each others arms, but now looking at her. She sighed. 'I'm a Vampire Slayer.'  
  
Michael laughed. Faith couldn't decide if the noise came from disbelief or sheer amazement, but she figured that this was going to be a fairly long conversation, and that having it in a dark side street as not the best plan.  
  
'I'm a Vampire Slayer. I promise I'll explain more, but can we please get in the car. This is a dangerous area.'  
  
Victor snorted at this, whilst Michael mumbled sarcastically 'ya think?' Gracey dug in her bag for the car keys, and then bleeped the locks. Once the five of them were settled, with the central locking engaged, Michael once again turned his dispassionate gaze on Faith. 'We're in the car now, so talk.'  
  
'Geez, where's a British guy when you need one.' She took a deep breath, trying to remember how Linda had explained all of this to her that first time, so long ago. 'Okay, the short version is earth didn't start as a paradise, like it says in the bible. The bible is way wrong. It started as hell, or at least, a hell. There are a few hell dimensions. Anyway, demons lived here, humans didn't. Eventually though, people came in, and chucked the demons out. One of the demons bit a human on the way out, mixing their blood, and creating vampires. As long as there have been vamps, there's been a Slayer, a Chosen One, given the speed and strength and yada yada yada to hunt the vampires, and demons, and save the world. I'm a Slayer.' She kept her gaze trained on Michael as she spoke. 'I told you I deserved to be in there.'  
  
Michael blinked, and then asked 'so how much of what you told me before is true? Is any of it?'  
  
'All of it's true. The only bit I lied about was when I was 16 and the system lost track of me. That's when I was called, and living with my first watcher.' Finally, Faith looked away, trying not to get dragged down by the memories of Linda. God, she'd be so disappointed in me. She shook her head. If she's watching, she'll see me change. I'll make her proud again. 'She was murdered, by a vampire, and I moved to Sunnydale. After that, it's pretty much as it says. The first guy I killed, it was an accident. Me and B, we were in a fight, the vamps just kept appearing. He grabbed my arm, B pulled him off and I went in with the stake. I can still hear her yelling, telling me NO, just as the stake goes into his chest. I knew as soon as it went in he was human, but it was already too late. I was scared, I was so scared and so angry. After that, well, they tried to save me, but I was determined to meet the darkness head on. I remember Angel telling me I could never imagine the price for true evil. He was right.'  
  
'Who's B?' Gracey asked softly.  
  
'B. B is Buffy Summers. She's another Slayer, the first person who ever really tried to reach out to me, to be my friend. She's not perfect, she's got her fault's has B. I think that was a lot of my problem. I kept seeing Buffy as perfect; Perfect Mom, perfect friends, perfect Watcher, perfect life. I think if I'd realised her life could suck on occasion, that she's made some fairly major mistakes, I wouldn't have felt the need to beat her at something, even if the only thing I could do better than her was be bad. Turned out I was wrong about that too. She stuck my own knife in me and pushed me off a roof. She put me in that coma. Yeah, B can be bad when she wants to be.' She glanced around the car, saw the astonished looks on the faces of the three lawyers. She grinned at Kate 'I didn't know how much of a kick it can be, telling someone for the first time. I don't think I've ever seen a lawyer speechless before!'  
  
Michael finally managed to get his voice to work again 'She stabbed you and pushed you off a roof, and no one did anything about it? She just got away with it!'  
  
He still cares. He's angry and he's confused, but he still cares. Faith felt a warm glow role through her. 'It's not like I didn't deserve it, I'd just shot her boyfriend with a poison arrow. Besides, they blew the high school the next day, during graduation, and I guess my case just got lost in the shuffle.'  
  
Kate joined in the staring and choking at that revelation 'Blew up the high school!?'  
  
Even Kate looked startled by this revelation. Guess Angel didn't tell her about that one. Faith sighed 'Yeah. Long story. Big demon. It was necessary, trust me. Look guys, unless you wanna be here for a really long time, we don't have time for the history of the Scooby Gang. It's way too long.' As they were all staring at her, speechless, Faith figured she might as well continue. 'When I woke up, it was eight months later, and man was I pissed, so I went after Buffy and all her little friends.'  
  
'You told me about this,' Michael interrupted 'You told me you had a fight with her and took something from her, and then slept with her boyfriend. Is that what really happened?'  
  
'Oh yeah, that's all true. I told you Michael, I didn't lie to you, I just left the weirder bits out. You see, the thing I took from her was her body. The Mayor left me a little surprise, wanted me to go out with a bang I guess.' As Victor raised an eyebrow, Faith hurried to explain, 'The Mayor, Mayor Richard Wilkins of Sunnydale, was the current big bad. He was this psychotic, immortal demon guy who was obsessive compulsive about germs. He planned to become a demon of the first circle on graduation day. First circle demons are always huge, therefore the blowing up of the high school.' She paused, lost in the memories, 'He loved me though. He was crazy and he was a killer, but he loved me like a father. And he thought I was better than Buffy. I would have done anything for him. I knew he was evil, but there he was, telling me I was beautiful, in the way a father should, not the creepy way my step dad used to. He really meant it too. I would have died for him, but I couldn't, because I was in hospital, in a coma, because of Buffy. He became a fist circle demon, and she killed him. I knew he thought of me though, because he left me a tape, and a present. He recorded it after Buffy took me down, the night before graduation. All I had to do was get B to touch this thing whilst I was touching it, and our souls switched bodies. Man what a trip. It was weird though, it's true what they say, about walking in other peoples shoes. Her's weren't as comfortable as I thought they'd be. Anyway, somehow the Council found out I'd woken up, and sent dome dudes after me. Of course, they got Buffy in my body, so while I was doing her toy soldier, the council were trying to kill her because they thought she was me. I don't think she was too happy about it all.'  
  
'Wait a minute, Council? What are The Council?'  
  
'You listen to all that Mikey, and the only thing you question is this Council?' Faith could hear the hysteria rising in Gracey's voice. Really, she's done pretty well to hold it together this long. Most people totally freak after their first vampire attack, she reflected. 'Look Faith, I don't know what those things were, but there's no such thing as magic or vampires or demons. I know you feel guilty about how you treated your friend, but you have to stop making this stuff up to comfort yourself -'  
  
'Comfort myself?! Lady, there is very little that's comforting about my life.' Calm Faith, keep calm. 'Sorry. look, I know it's hard to believe. I know you're all trying to find some way for what you just saw not to be real, but that's not possible. All the stories you heard as a kid, all the monsters you knew were hiding in the darkness but told yourself weren't real. They are. Witches, vampires, werewolves, all that stuff, it's all real.'  
  
'Look' Kate finally decided to join the conversation. 'I know it's hard to believe at first. Hell, I had a vampire standing in front of me, full fangs and yellow eyes, telling me it was true and I still didn't want to believe it. But it is true. All these things are out there, and a lot of them don't think of humans as anything more than their next meal. My father was killed by vampires. When the psychiatrists thought I was going nuts, when I got thrown off the force, it was because I'd finally started seeing the truth. All our lives we're trained on an unconscious level, not to see what's out there. Those who do know, work to keep it hidden. But once you know, you can't ignore it anymore. That's why Faith didn't tell you about any of this Councillor. Not because she didn't trust you, but because she wanted to protect you.'  
  
Michael looked at Faith, and then out the window. Tiredly, he rubbed his hands over his eyes, then back at Faith. 'It's true, isn't? It's all true.' 'Yeah' Please don't hate me, please don't hate me, please don't hate me. I only did it to protect you. 'It's all true. What I've told you is true..and what I was accused of is true.'  
  
'Why Faith? I understand the guilt now, the need to be punished. Why did you let us appeal?'  
  
'Because they needed me' Faith answered with a shrug  
  
'Who needed you?'  
  
'The world.'  
  
Silence greeted her answer. Although Kate had been aware of the battle between mankind and demons for two years, she tended to think of it only in terms of LA. Angel worked pretty much exclusively in L.A, and he was her frame of reference in these things. The lawyers were only just starting to get their heads round the idea that vampires existed. Battling to save the whole world was beyond anything they could conceive at that point.  
  
'Cunningham, the guy who hired you? He works for The Council of Watchers. They're meant to train and assist the Slayers, although it doesn't always work like that. They're the ones paying all the bills. Well, after Buffy died, they figured they needed an active Slayer-'  
  
'Buffy died? But I thought..'  
  
'Buffy was dead for about 4 months, then she got better.' Taking in the goldfish impressions all around, Faith sighed. 'Death isn't always a permanent condition in my world. I'm not really sure how it happened, but there was some wicked powerful magicks flying around.. same as there is now actually. It's the same person too.' Faith fell silent, stretching out her Slayer senses. Subconsciously, she'd been aware of this building up all day, and the day before. She knew there was nothing she could do about it though. Whatever it was, it wasn't for her to handle. She decided to get back to the issue at hand. 'Anyhow, The Council decided they needed an experienced Slayer. The fight is going hard at the moment, and a new Slayer would likely just screw things up, otherwise they'd have killed me and activated the next Slayer. Believe me, it's happened before.' She added, to forestall any questions. 'The Council still don't know that B's back, and I wasn't gonna tell 'em, so they paid the bills and I get to go back to work.'  
  
'That's it? You just go back to work. You forget everything that's happened?'  
  
'I know what I did Michael. It's not something I'll ever be able to forget. But right now the Powers need all the help they can get, even if it's me. Fighting's the only thing I've ever been really good at, apart from being bad. I'm built for fighting, and I can help people. I know the road to redemption is long, and it's hard. You have no idea how hard it is, but I'm trying, and I've got people out here who understand, and can help me. I've helped saved the world before. That's gotta count for something?' Faith ended on a desperate sounding plea.  
  
'One thing I don't think you understand Michael.' Kate touched his arm gently, 'for Faith, prison wasn't that hard. In prison, strength counts for everything, and Faith was stronger, faster, more resilient than any ten other people in there. She ruled that prison. The guards were sorry to see her go because she kept everyone in line. She stopped most of the bullying, the casual cruelties that are a part of prison life. I'm sure she hated not having her freedom, but the fact is, if Faith hadn't been sent to prison, she'd probably be dead by now. It's almost unheard of for a Slayer to survive past 25. If she survives her first year or so, her odds go up slightly, but the average Slayer is dead before she's old enough to drink in this country. In prison she faced human foes who couldn't possibly beat her, instead of the demons and monsters she is meant to fight.' Kate took a deep breath, and continued. 'When I arrested Faith, I hated her, and everything she represented. She was part of the same world that had killed my father. I wanted to destroy everything from that world. I hated it. If not for Angel, that hate would have destroyed me, and I'd've killed myself. Angel saved me, and I changed. I did a lot of thinking. One of the things I realised was that Faith being in prison was no good for anyone. I know some of the guards in that prison, and they told me what she was like in there. The life of a Slayer is deadly. They go out and fight the monsters every night. Faith knows what she's up against Michael. She knows that in going through with the appeal, she has pretty much signed her own death warrant. Whether she deserves to die for what she did,' Faith looked down, hunching her shoulders, and Kate laid her hand on her in support. 'That's not our call. But what she's doing now is the right thing. She's facing her past, and the people she hurt. She's doing it to try and save us all. She personally never harmed us, and like she said, she has helped save the world. Maybe if we help her, she can do it again.'  
  
'Wow.Speechless again? Tis must be some kind of record!' Faith joked inanely. She was desperate for Michael to say something, although she feared horribly that he was going to condemn her. At the same time, she couldn't believe the things Kate had just said on her behalf. This is how Angel carries on, she mused, because sometimes you do get through. And they forgive you. A single tear ran down her face as she smiled tremulously at her 'thanks.'  
  
Kate nodded in return. 'I've got faith in you. You don't prove me wrong, or I'll make you regret it.'  
  
'I know.' Faith wasn't offended by this, strangely, it was kind of comforting. She was used to being threatened by authority figures. She understood it a lot better that she did Kate's support.  
  
'You can drop me off at my car if you like. It's getting kind of late, and I'm sure you guys have a lot to think about' Kate said briskly, changing the subject before either she or Faith could be overwhelmed by the emotions they were feeling.  
  
'Wait a second. You can't just drop all that on us and then leave. Are you telling me that I got Faith out of jail so she can die?! That's not going to happen!!'  
  
'No Michael. You got me out of jail so that I can live. How can I work on my redemption when I'm locked in a cage? Being a Slayer means I was meant to die young, but I get to make a difference before I do. I get to live more in my few years than a lot of people do in a lifetime. I screwed up big time Michael. Being out here is the only way I can make it right.' Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. 'Please don't hate me, any of you? Just give me a chance okay? I promise I'll make you proud of me.'  
  
The three lawyers looked at each other. Eventually, Michael spoke. 'This is.wow. I mean. I've just had my entire worldview turned on its head, and I have a feeling we only got the briefest outline. You always told me you were guilty of some really bad things Faith, I never believed you until now. Now I do.' Faith stiffened, waiting for the rejection she was sure was about to come. 'But you saved Gracey's life. How can I hate someone who saves my best friend's life. Your life is something I don't understand. From what you've told us tonight, I think your life would terrify me. I know now isn't the time, but at some point, I'd like you to sit down and tell me all about it. In the meantime, the offer still stands. We're all here for you whenever you need us.'  
  
Some trick of Slayer strength and agility allowed Faith to throw herself at Michael through the gap between the front seats. She hugged him hard, and would have hung on longer if he hadn't started gasping for breath. 'Sorry. Slayer strength can be a bit of a problem when I'm this emotional. Thank you. Thank you so much. Now lets get out of here. You guys need some sleep, and I need to speak to Angel.'  
  
They dropped Kate off at her car and watched her drive away, then Faith directed Michael to the Hyperion Hotel. She'd looked it up on a map when Angel first told her Angel Investigations had moved there.  
  
She hugged Michael, and then Grace and Victor before she got out of the car. 'You might want to invest in some water guns with holy water in them, and a couple of crosses' she warned 'and don't invite anyone in after dark. Vampires can't come in unless they're invited. I know it sounds weird, but pretty soon it'll be second nature.'  
  
'Faith, you've got all our cell numbers, right? And you promise you'll call in a couple of days, just to let us know you're okay?'  
  
'And you'll come and see us soon?'  
  
'And you'll call sooner if you need us?'  
  
'I promise.' She paused. She was still getting used to this being nice to people shit. Not just being nice, but being honest. 'Thank you. I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you've done. Not just getting me out, but trusting me now that you know the truth.'  
  
'Everyone's entitled to a second chance Faith' Michael smiled 'you keep saving the world, we'll call it even.' He couldn't get his head around how this scared little girl was meant to save the world, but somehow, he believed her, and he wanted to help her.  
  
'Deal' Getting out of the car, Faith waved, and then turned, and started towards the Hyperion Hotel, and her redemption.  
  
The end for now.  
  
More soon 


	3. Part 3 Angel

Thanks so much for the reviews. Keep 'em coming, and any story suggestions you think of. I've got the outline down, but if it keeps changing so..  
  
I know I've got the time lines a bit screwed up, but it's close enough to still work (I think so anyway, as the story would need some major rejigging if it doesn't!!).  
  
This chapter is shorter than the first two, but I think it's as long as it needs to be. Some of Cordy's stuff is a bit ooc, but she's growing a changing as a Higher Being. That's my idea and I'm sticking to it.  
  
As usual, anything in italics is thought.  
  
See first 2 chapters for disclaimers.  
  
Enjoy.  
  
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Reappearing in the non physical realm, Cordelia glared at Skip 'what did you do that for?! We were getting somewhere, but there are so many ways that that lot could still screw up that touching reconciliation! I need to get back down there before Xander makes the lame crack that ends the world.'  
  
'No Cordelia. As a Higher Being, all you can do is guide people, put things in their proper place. After that, you have to leave humans to do what they want.' He sighed. 'This whole free will thing's a bitch.'  
  
'What? I do all that and then I just have to leave it all up to them! Do you have any idea of how many bad decisions they are capable of making? I mean, I know Buffy spent the night in a crypt, but even so..did you that outfit! Is she trying to remind us she was dead by still looking like it!'  
  
'Calm down. Your involvement with that group isn't finished. Now you need to get some of the other players into the game though.' He paused; this was going to be tricky. 'It's important that you remember what you've become Cordelia. You aren't human anymore, and neither is your heart.'  
  
'What does that mean?' Cordelia asked, slightly annoyed. 'Do I need to practise being all crypticie and unhelpful to anyone who's actually trying to do some good?'  
  
Skip sighed 'No. We are trying to help you know. You'll start to understand just how much we help soon. You're one of us now. You have to bare that in mind, even when you don't want to.'  
  
'What aren't you telling me Skip? Why the sudden pep talk?' She eyed him warily, where is he going with this? Why do I get the feeling the catch in this free lunch is about to make it's self known?  
  
'It's not that bad Cordelia, really.' He smiled at her encouragingly.  
  
She stared back at him, and suddenly did the non-corporeal equivalent of stamping her foot. 'No fair reading my mind. I can't read your mind - Hey, why can't I read your mind? If you can read my mind, why can't I read yours?'  
  
'You are reading my mind Cordelia. We don't have mouths or ears up here. How else do you think we communicate? You don't have the experience to pick up anything other than the thoughts I'm directing at you. Give it time, and you'll be able to pick up whatever I'm thinking. We do try and be polite about it though, and not listen in on the really private stuff. Total honesty makes for a really uncomfortable work place!'  
  
'Riiight. Okay Skip. Now you've sufficiently weirded me out, could we get back to the whole remember you're not human trip?'  
  
'Sure. You're next assignment.'  
  
'Uh huh?'  
  
'It's Angel.' 'Oh.'  
  
'Yeah. Oh. Look, I know you were in love with him, and he was in love with you, but the thing is, you aren't meant to be together. What you two feel for each other is based in comfort, and missing the one you are meant to be with. And the fact that you're both hot. He's meant for someone else down there, and you are meant for someone else up here.' He smiled gently. 'You already knew that though, didn't you? You knew it as soon as you saw Buffy.'  
  
'I..yeah, I guess..I really did love him though. Do love him. Shit. I'm not going to change who I am because I've become I higher being. You can't tell me who to love.'  
  
'I know that Cordelia, we wouldn't even try. But who do you know who's already been tested, made the ultimate sacrifice? Who loved you when you were human, even though he knew all your faults, and has loved you ever since?'  
  
She stared at him, stunned. Hope filled her voice as she stretched out her senses, looking for some sign of him 'Doyle? Doyle's up here? Where is he? I want to see him!! Why can't I sense him?'  
  
'He's on assignment right now. The job he's doing is really important, and he hasn't been told about you. If he had, he'd just blow it off and come and see you. He's in D.C, trying to sort out a couple of whacked out FBI agents. Anyway, if you get this job finished, maybe you can go and join him. Hell,' ha muttered to himself, 'they might have got themselves killed by then and he'll be back here with you.' He straightened, concentrating solely on Cordelia again. 'Right now, your priority is Angel. Find him, save him, sort him out, get the rest of the group together and get them all back to the hellmouth. The relationships in your little group make the Medici look simple and straightforward.'  
  
'That's it. Fix that group of emotional screw ups? Why don't you give me something simple for my first job, like, I don't know, world peace? Fixing the environment? Getting Britney Spears a decent wardrobe? That lot have done nothing but tie themselves in emotional knots for the last six years, and you just tell me to fix it!'  
  
'Yeah. No one said it was going to be easy.' He paused and looked at her as if assessing her. 'They're your friends Cordelia, and the world needs them. They all need to be working together to be effective in the future.' Again, he paused. Cordelia got the feeling he was weighing how much to tell her. 'Your ascension was foretold, and your part in uniting the champions. You can do it, but not if you sit on your ass up here whining about it. Time's a'whasting. Get down there girl.'  
  
'Fine. Thanks for the advice! It was really useful in a totally not at all way. If you're through with not telling me anything useful, just adding a whole heap of pressure, I'll go and find Angel. And I do love him. So there.' Great exit line Cordy, maybe you could blow a raspberry next!  
  
There's nothing wrong with loving your friends Cordelia. And you can do this; no one doubts that except you.'  
  
Cordelia just glared at him, then faded out. She tried focusing her senses while she was still fuming over what Skip had said, but found she couldn't see anything past her own anger, so she shunted it aside, calming herself so she could find Angel amongst the population of L.A. Think Yoda. fear, anger, hate, all dark sidey. Don't wanna go there. Okay, I'm calm. The Power's never told me anything simple before. Why should that change now? And I get to see Doyle again! Oh thank you thank you thank you. Okay Cordy, focus. Find Angel. Shouldn't be too difficult. Think big guilt and not Willow. Gotcha - Huh? What are you doing in the middle of the bay? I really hope part of this Higher being stuff is having water resistant hair!! Here goes!  
  
Concentrating on Angel, Cordelia found her essence under about ten meters of water, and facing a big metal.coffin? Whatever. Explanations later, save Angel now. Reaching through the steel holding him, she wrapped her essence around him, and transported them both into the Hyperion's lobby.  
  
'Cordelia?!! Wha-? Huh? I don't understan-, Conner! Oh my God. Cordelia! He thinks I killed him, but I didn't, I swear I didn't! I know you told me not to go, or to tell Conner, and I didn't, but I should have, and now - Oh God. I swear it wasn't me! You have to believe I didn't do it, but now he hates me even more -'  
  
As Angels emotions were as confused as his words, Cordelia didn't have a clue what was going on. All she was getting from him was a messy swirl of pain and darkness and confusion. 'Wow there. Take a second Angel. I'm here to help, but I need to know what happened.and how did you end up at the bottom of the bay?'  
  
He stared at her, finally taking in their surroundings, and the fact that Cordelia was glowing 'what happened to you? How - how did we get here?'  
  
'You know we arranged to meet at the cliff, and we were gonna have that talk and all that, and I didn't quite make it?'  
  
'Actually, no. You were late, and then Connor pushed me off the cliff and electrocuted me. I never realised you didn't make it.' A horrible thought occurred to him. 'Are you dead? Did something happen to you because I wasn't there when you arrived?'  
  
Sensing his habit of blaming himself for things that he couldn't possibly control kicking in, Cordelia answered him quickly 'not everything revolves around you, you know. I was on my way to meet you, when time stopped.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Don't interrupt, okay? So, yeah, time stopped and Skip appeared. Long story short?' Angel nodded 'The PTB gave me a promotion. Cause of the visions and everything, I'm a Higher Being now. And for my first job, I get to sort out you lot. Good thing I never asked for an easy life!'  
  
'Wait a minute.' Angel was struggling to get his head round what Cordelia had just told him. 'You're a Higher Being now?'  
  
'Uh huh'  
  
'And you have even more powers?'  
  
'Uh huh'  
  
'And you're here to help all of us?'  
  
'That was quite the recap. Do you think we could move this conversation forward now?'  
  
'Sure. Sorry. So, how are you here to help us?'  
  
'Well, I've just been to Sunnydale, and started things off. They're all.not dead. Things are kind of screwed up at the moment, but with my help, it's getting sorted.' At Angels raised eyebrow, Cordelia became indignant. 'What, you think I couldn't help the all powerful Scooby Gang! They're screwed up even worse than we are! Wes might've stolen Conner, but at least he didn't try and end the world! And I fixed the Magic Box, and Giles! I - ' She paused. An idea flickered in the back of her mind. It was important, she knew, but she couldn't quite grasp it. '- That's not important now. What's important is you. Tell me what happened with Conner.' She could have just taken the information from his mind, but Angel needed to talk about it, or he'd go into major brood mode. Also, all the emotions whizzing around him, including those of the demon inside him, were making her nauseous.  
  
He let Cordelia lead him over to the couch, and collapsed onto it. Everything that had happened was chasing round in his mind. He just couldn't get a handle on everything that had happened. 'He was waiting for me, on the cliff where we were supposed to meet. All the stuff I taught him, the fighting, he used it against me. He pushed me down the cliff, and we fought more on the beech, but he had a tazor. Eventually he knocked me out with it.' He clenched and unclenched his fists as he spoke, still unable to believe what had happened. He'd thought he was finally getting through to his son, making some sort of connection. Oh God.  
  
Cordelia took both of his hands in hers, holding them gently. She felt the tickle of that idea again, but it was gone before she could work out what it was. 'Go on.'  
  
'When I came too, I was already in the box. He was nailing me in, and Justine was there too. He told me I'd murdered his father, and now I'd have eternity to think about what I'd done. But I didn't do it Cordy. I swear to you, the last time I saw Holtz, he was alive, and he wanted Conner to be with me. He said so. I couldn't convince him. I tried, but I couldn't make him believe that I love him, and for that reason alone, I would never hurt Holtz.'  
  
Angel's conversation was erratic, jumping from subject to subject with out any indication of who or when. Without the whole soul reading thing, I'd have no clue what he was talking about. The idea came again, brushing the edges of her conscious mind, but not letting her grab onto it. Still holding Angels hands, she sighed, then glared at the ceiling. If you want me to do something, just tell me already!! Enough with the cryptic. I'm one of you now, remember!?' Cordy's angry conversation with the ceiling brought Angel back to reality. 'Cordy? Who are you talking to? Because we sealed the rift to the Kurtogh you know.'  
  
'The Powers are trying to tell me something, except they're not actually telling me. It's more like "We know something you don't know, and you've got to guess what it is" Aargghh! You'd think they could just tell me!'  
  
Skip appeared suddenly. Not the usual slow glow to reality, more like a flash, then there he was.  
  
'Nice entrance. Needed a puff of smoke though.' Cordelia glared at him as she got to her feet, and then stalked towards him. 'What's going on? If it's so important to the Powers that I help this lot, why the cryptic? Why not just tell me what I need to do?'  
  
'Because you have to learn to think like one of us.' He nodded to Angel, who nodded back. 'Hey.' Turning back to Cordelia, he continued 'you're not human anymore. You have to stop thinking like one. There's something you can do, right here, right now, which will go a long way to sorting this group out. Also, it puts an end to all sorts of bad ideas people have planned for Angel here.' As Cordelia continued to stare at him, none the wiser, Skip shrugged. 'Already said more than I should of. You gotta figure this one out by yourself. I'm outta here.' With that, he flashed out.  
  
They were left staring at each other. After so many years, neither of them could believe that what Skip had not at all subtly hinted was that easy.  
  
Angel spoke first 'it couldn't be that easy. No way. He must have meant something else, right?' He stared at the floor, afraid to let Cordelia see the hope in his eyes. Of course, she could sense it from him, but his thought process was well below realising that. 'No. He had to mean something else. I mean, I know it says that I'll have my shanshu eventually, but I've got so much more to make up for first.last year.'  
  
Cordelia looked at him, really looked with all her new senses. 'No.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'No. You don't have anything to make up for.' Angel looked at her like she was insane, so she tried to explain what she had seen when she looked at hard at his soul. 'Your soul didn't do anything wrong. Sure, your body did some really horrible things, but not when the soul was in charge.' As Angel's expression hadn't changed, Cordelia tried a different tack. 'Look, who do you blame if there's a car crash, the car or the driver? Your body is like the car, and either your soul or the demon is the driver. Your body doesn't have control over what it does. If Fred crashed Gunn's truck, we wouldn't blame Gunn, just because his name's on the owners papers.'  
  
'Then why was I told I had to find redemption? Why did Whistler find me and show me Buffy? Why.' he gestured around him 'all of this?'  
  
'Because of the guilt.'  
  
'What! I thought you just said I wasn't guilty! I'm the car?' 'Not the guilt you should feel, the guilt you DO feel. See, when the gypsies cursed you, and you - you the soul you - came back, the first thing you were told was that you should feel guilty for everything your body had done, when you weren't in it. All the memories came back, and the only thing the soul understood was that it should feel guilty. It had the memories of what it's - your body had done, so it felt guilty. People have been unable to tell the difference between you and the demon, and he still lives inside you. You have to fight him everyday. I can see that now. You have to fight for redemption, not because the Powers need it, but because your soul needs it. Your soul has been tortured for so long; the only way it will ever rest is if it atones for the crimes done by its body when it wasn't in residence. Unless I can convince you it really wasn't your fault. It wasn't. I believe that. I can literally see the truth of that now. When I look in you, I can see your soul. It's different from most of the souls I've seen. Admittedly, I've not seen that many, but I have seen one. One that matches your soul completely. They're not the same exactly, but they belong together. The darkness and the light, the fear and the courage in your soul, belong totally with only one other, and oh my God I can't believe I'm saying this. You were right. Buffy Summers is your one true love. Your souls match up in a way that I think doesn't happen very often.'  
  
Angel was feeling pretty much every emotion possible at this moment. Cordelia had to do the sixth sense equivalent of sticking her fingers in her ears and screwing her eyes shut so she didn't get washed away by all that emotion. 'So you're saying that I should never have left her? That all of this -' He made a sweeping gesture with his arm, indicating the Hyperion, and the offices of Angel Investigations, which is what Cordy figured he actually meant '- is wrong! No I don't accept that! Look how many people we've saved Cordy. This isn't wrong. It hurt like hell, literally, and still does, but it can't be wrong. It can't be.'  
  
'No, it's not. That's not what I meant. You were right to leave her, and Sunnydale, when you did. The reminders of the past, and the guilt there were always too close. She was to close. You never could have stayed away from her, and you always would have been in her shadow. Hell, if you hadn't come to L.A, I'd be dead, Wes'd still be dressing in leathers, which is a fate worse than death. Fred'd still be in Pylia. God knows where Gunn would be. You had to come here. You've changed so much. You've become so much more confident. You smile now, you laugh. You used to brood. That was pretty much it.' She smiled at him, proud of what he had done, and of knowing that she had helped. 'You had her on a pedestal before. That wasn't healthy, for either of you. Now you can meet her on equal ground. You're destined for each other.' She could feel his happiness, his fear, and she caught another whiff of guilt, this time directed at her. 'Oh please. You think you broke my heart!? Ha. I love you Angel, I really do. But can you really imagine us together? As someone explained to me recently, it was familiarity and comfort between us, not true love. We're both destined to be with someone else, and we both know who they are.'  
  
'I'm sorry. You were just always there. You were safe.'  
  
'You were the same. I guess I knew subconsciously that Gru wasn't the one, so I turned to you as an escape route.'  
  
'Wait a minute, if not Gru, then who? Who are you destined to be with?'  
  
She grinned at him, then answered simply 'Doyle.' Before Angel could ask any of the questions that were swirling in his mind, she said 'We can do Q and A later first, let's get you sorted so we can move on. This may take a while.' She said as she placed her hands on the sides of his head, the heels of her hands running along his jaw, her thumbs just below his eyes. 'Also, I have no idea how I'm gonna do this.' She started to glow brighter.  
  
'Wha-' Angel tried to step away from her, but she hung on, and the glow intensified slowly, until the room was filled with light so bright it was like looking at the sun.  
  
As the light finally dimmed, Angel was on his knees in front of Cordy, his hands clamped over hers. When she let him go, he slumped down, letting his head touch the floor.  
  
'Angel?' Cordy asked hesitantly. She wasn't sure if what she had tried to do had worked. 'Angel? Can you hear me?'  
  
Slowly, he managed to push himself into a sitting position. As soon as she could actually look at him, she could see it had all worked perfectly. She let out a sigh of relief. 'What did you do Cordy?' He stared at her, filled with awe. He could feel his heart beating again, racing, thudding, pounding. Holy Jesus. 'What did you do?'  
  
'Well, I remembered when you told us about getting the Oracles to turn back time, so I knew I couldn't make you normal human. Besides, even though you don't have anything to atone for, you have way too many enemies, not thinking of any demon law firms in particular, to just become a regular human. I'm not sure I could give you any new powers, so I concentrated on letting you keep the old ones.'  
  
Angel nodded. 'With you so far.'  
  
'Okay, so. The only thing keeping you well, undead, was the demon. I had to keep part of the demon, or your body would turn to dust while I was changing you. So, I took the strength, the healing, the eyesight, the hearing and the memories, and I kept them as part of you, while I got rid of the rest. Outcome is you're human, mortal, but with super powers. Kind of like a male Slayer in fact.  
  
'Why did you make me keep the memories? I mean, thank you, this is..amazing. Unbelievable. I could never thank you for this. But why do I have to remember what I did?'  
  
The pain in his voice defused a lot of Cordelias annoyance at him. 'You have to remember. Do you think you'd be able to fight so hard if you didn't remember just how much evil there is in the heart of a vampire? What would you do if you were faced with someone from your past, but you didn't know who they were? What about all the knowledge you gained that can help in the fight? I know it's hard, but the memories are part of who you are.'  
  
He nodded, slowly climbing to his feet. 'So what else? Just how human am I?'  
  
'Totally. You can do sunlight, crosses, holy water. Your soul and my powers cancel out any demon reaction to those things. You'll be able to see yourself in a mirror and you'll have to eat. When you use your super strength or speed, you'll have to eat a lot. A steak through the heart or decapitation will still kill you, but then, that's pretty normal.'  
  
'That's it then? You glow and I'm human.' He stared at her. Part of him wanted to be angry. After all his hard work, it shouldn't have been this easy. The rest of him didn't care. He was human. He could be happy. He could be with Buffy. He could take her into the light and give her the life and the children - children. Connor. Abruptly, his happiness fled, leaving behind the gaping wound in his heart that Connor had left there. He stared at Cordy. 'I have to find him.'  
  
'No. You have to wait here. I have to find him.'  
  
'What! Cordy, I can't just leave him. He hates me! He thinks I killed Holtz. I have to convince him I didn't!'  
  
'And that's exactly why you can't come. When the two of you get together there's emotions flying about everywhere. No one can think, Connor gets scared and starts lashing out at you, and you start accepting the blame for everything from the holocaust to bad haircuts. I need you to trust me with this one.' She smiled her beautiful smile, seeming to glow even brighter. 'I have a different perspective now. He can't hurt me and I'll be able to see why he's so convinced you killed Holtz.' Taking Angel by the shoulders, she made him look into her eyes. I'll bring him back for you Angel. I promise.' Then she grinned, wickedly. 'And then I'm going to take you all to Sunnydale and watch how you explain him to Buffy!'  
  
He smiled faintly. Then his hands came up and he gripped her shoulders in return. 'Bring him back to me. Please give me a chance to love, and be loved by my son.'  
  
She leant forwards and kissed his cheek gently. 'I will. But there's something you need to do while I'm gone.' He looked at her, questioningly. 'I need you to think about Wesley-'  
  
'No way Cordelia, no way! He stole Connor from me. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be trying to prove to my son that I didn't kill the man he thinks of as his father.' He paused, letting much of the anger bleed out of his stance 'I lost the chance to watch my son grow, all the firsts I wanted to be there for, and I never will.'  
  
'I know Angel. I was there, and I loved baby Connor too. But this wasn't all Wesley's fault. No, listen. It wasn't. It's not like you've never gone evil before. All those prophecies that he found, saying you'd kill Connor.'  
  
'I would never hurt Connor.' Angel growled.  
  
'No. You wouldn't, but Angelus would. He would've loved to get his teeth into him. None of us talked about it, we never wanted to upset you. God, even I'm not that tactless, but you know it had occurred to all of us. Wes was wrong not to tell us what he was scared of, no doubt about it. But Sah Jean took thousands of years to set it up. Is it that amazing that Wes fell for it? Because ya know, thousand year old prophecies coming true. That never happens in our lives.'  
  
'I hear what you're saying Cordy, I do. But how can I forgive him? He didn't just not trust me; he didn't trust any of you enough to tell you what was going on. That was all he had to do to stop all of this. Just trust you, us. We're meant to be a team.'  
  
'The way you trusted us last year with Darla and Dru? How you were so honest about sleeping with Darla?' Angel fidgeted, looking down again. 'You fired us, and that hurt a lot. I know you had your reasons, but I didn't know that then. Wes is the same.' Seeing that Angel still didn't look convinced, she reached for his hand 'you remember back in high school, when you were Angelus? When you and Buffy got possessed by that teacher and the student that shot her? Well, Giles said something to Buffy. He said "To forgive is an act of compassion. We don't do it because it's deserved, but because it's needed."'  
  
Angel looked at her from beneath hooded eyes. 'Giles is a smart guy. He doesn't know everything though.'  
  
'I know that. But Angel, he was right about this. Wes is falling further and further into darkness. I feel it every time I think of him. We need to bring him back. That's the mission isn't it? Things have changed Angel. You and Buffy, you can have a life, you can have children together. I can't see the future, but I know that's possible. I promise you I'll get Connor back here. You'll have your chance with him. Everything is coming together for you, can't you share a little of the wealth with Wes? Give him the same chance we gave you?'  
  
Angel raised his eyebrows 'I thought you said that that all wasn't my fault?'  
  
'It wasn't, but we didn't know that. We gave you a chance anyway. We risk our lives for people we don't know all the time. Can't you open your heart for someone who was a friend? Who fought the battle at your side, even though he didn't have to?'  
  
Staring into her beautiful brown eyes, Angel felt his heart begin to soften. Maybe she was right. If anyone knew about needing forgiveness, it was him. 'I'll think about it. I won't promise anything, but I'll think about it.'  
  
'That's all I needed to hear.' She kissed his cheek, and smiled 'I'm outta here.' Then she faded out, leaving Angel alone in the hotel with his thoughts.  
  
TBC 


	4. Part 4 Gunn

Sorry about the delay in updates. Life got in the way of writing. Anyway, here it is now.  
  
When I wrote the parts with Gunn and / or Rondell, I found the only way I could get it to work for me was to write phonetically. I try to imagine the characters saying the stuff I write, and if I spelt it all correctly, they were all speaking with northern English accents in my head. It was very bad.  
  
As always, please R & R. I love feedback.  
  
Special thanks to Kitty and Aredhel for mailing me directly.  
  
See parts 1 and 2 for dsclaimer  
  
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Faith paused at the entrance to the Hyperion, trying to get a handle on her nerves which had suddenly started flying around her stomach like a swarm of crazed bees. Deep breath. You can handle this. Angel's gonna welcome you, and Wes isn't here, so you don't have to deal with what happened with him.yet. Squaring her shoulders, she pushed open the left hand swing door, and marched in.  
  
Fred and Gunn stood in the office, arguing. They had just listened to the message Rondell had left on the machine for the third time, and still couldn't reach an agreement on what to do. They had been unable to raise Angel or Cordy on their cell phones. Even Lorne was incommunicado. Fred wanted to wait until Angel got back, whilst Gunn was ready to charge into action. 'We can't leave them hangin' Fred. They were my boys, my crew. After what happened with Gio and Angel at Karitos.' he scrubbed his hand over his eyes, and then up over his gleaming scalp 'well, things ain't exactly been good between us. For Ronnie to call, this thing must be really bad.' He hit the play button on the machine again 'Gunn, Rondell. Look man, I know we ain't talked for a while, but things are bad down here. Paulo, Luis and Mickey are in the hospital man. We need help. This thing's killin' us. Bring your crew and get down here fast. if you're still interested in what's goin' on in the 'hood.' Gunn eyed Fred, almost pleadingly. 'We left Angel a message on his voicemail. He'll hook up with us as soon as he gets it, but the boys need us now!'  
  
'I understand that you're worried Charles,' Fred placed a gentle hand on Gunn's arm, and smiled up at him through the curtain of her long, dark hair, 'but rushing down there to fight something all your old friends can't beat is only going to make things worse. You know as well as I do that Angel can't work his voicemail. We need him to come with us. It's the only way any of us stand a chance of getting out of this alive.'  
  
Gunn pulled away from her, and started pacing the office again. 'I hear you girl, I really do, and I don't want to get hurt anymore than you do, but these are MY BOYS. I can't leave them hangin'. Look, I'll go. You wait here for Angel, and as soon as he gets here, you guys ride in like the cavalry, okay? But I gotta go now.'  
  
'Excuse me?'  
  
The voice coming from the entrance hall made them both jump. They both looked at the owner of the voice. Fred saw a young woman, about her own age with dark hair and brown eyes, looking cautiously amused at the argument she had overheard. Something inside Gunn screamed a warning at him at the sight of the seemingly helpless you woman. A warrior recognising another warrior.  
  
'This is Angel Investigations, right?' They both nodded 'So you must be Gunn and Fred?' Again, they both nodded. 'I couldn't help overhearing your discussion, maybe I can help.'  
  
'How can you help?' Gunn asked, disbelievingly. 'And how do you know who we are? Never mind.' He cut Faith off before she could answer 'I'm sorry, I know we help the hopeless and all, but tonight we're closed. Come back tomorrow and we'll be all the help you need.' He turned back to Fred, cupping the back of her head, he kissed her forehead. 'I gotta go. I know it's a risk, but I gotta help them.'  
  
As he walked towards the door, the mystery woman was suddenly in front of him. 'Slow down cowboy. Like I said, I can help you. No point in getting your girl more upset than she already is, right?'  
  
Gunn moved to walk round her, but she side stepped to be in front of him again, still smiling slightly, so he put a hand on her shoulder to move her out of his way. 'Look lady, I don't know what kind of kicks you're getting from this, but my friends are in danger. This isn't some game. The monsters are out there, and they're real. My friends need help, maybe more help than I can give them, but I'm all there is right now, so I'll have to do! Now will you PLEASE get out of my way?'  
  
'Not gonna happen big boy. Not unless you take me with you. I'm not letting you walk in there all by yourself.'  
  
'Take you with me? Not letting me! Lady, you are nuts. I'd love to spend some time listening to you explain why I should take you with me, but I'm on the clock.'  
  
'Five by five. I can explain on the way.'  
  
'There's nothing to explain. You ain't coming. That's it. '  
  
'Really?' Her face broke into a wide grin at that statement. Holding out her right hand, she said 'I'm Faith, the Vampire Slayer. Angel told me when I got out of prison he'd give me a job,' well, he said he'd help me anyway he could, and I figure giving me a job qualifies, 'so here I am, ready to go to work. Saddle up Charlie boy, like you said. We're on the clock. Let's move.'  
  
'Are you serious?' Gunn asked, staring at her. He'd heard plenty about Faith from Angel, Cordy and Wes. Somehow he'd expected the rogue Slayer to be taller. 'Why should we trust you? We heard all about what you did to Wes and Cordy back in the day, as well as all that other stuff back in Sunnyville or whatever it's called. Thanks, but we'll manage.'  
  
Faith walked over to the weapons cabinet and picked up Angel's biggest axe.  
  
Damn thought Gunn that things so heavy, I can hardly lift it to swing it, and she's carrying it like it doesn't weigh more than a baseball bat. Guess they weren't kidding about the whole Slayer strength thing. 'What are you gonna do with that?' Gunn casually stepped between Fred and the Slayer.  
  
If she noticed his move, she showed no sign of it. 'Weapons help for killing monsters.' She paused, hunting for an argument that would convince him to take her with him 'Look Gunn. I know you don't have any reason to trust me. I know what I've done. But your friends are getting stomped on right now and we all know you by yourself isn't going to be enough to get this thing gone. I'm a Slayer. Whatever else I've done, killing demons is what I'm best at.' Staring into his impassive face, she felt a tinge of desperation I can't fail at the first real test! He's gotta take me along!! 'Your friends are dieing. How can I make that worse? Take me with you, please. Worst case scenario, things turn out the same way they would have anyway. Best case, I can stop this thing and save a lot of people. You gave Angel a chance to prove himself, and look how that turned out.can't you give me that chance too? The look in her eyes, a sort of last, desperate hope, was genuine, Gunn realised. Looking down at Fred, he asked 'what do you think?'  
  
'I think your friends need help Charles' Fred stated resolutely, gripping and regripping a steak in both hands 'and we need to get going.' Seeing the argument forming in his eyes, she forestalled him 'if she goes, I go. Let's move!'  
  
Smiling at the tiny, delicate girls' show of concern for her man, Faith swept her left hand in front of her, her right hand still holding the axe. 'Lead the way cowboy.'  
  
Gunn glared at her as he walked past 'It's Gunn. Let's go.'  
  
As the truck drew up beside an old, abandoned warehouse in an east L.A neighbourhood even the zombie cops would have avoided, Faith felt an old, half remembered feeling stirring inside her. It was excitement, fear, adrenalin. This is what it used to feel like, before it all began, before I killed him, when B and I were living it large, having a blast, untouchable. I'm finally doing it right again. She turned to Gunn, grinning, 'let's get it going on!' Grabbing Fred by the hand, she leapt out of the truck, axe in front of her to defend them both. 'You guys stay together okay? You know each others moves, and I don't. We don't know what's in there, so I'm just gonna aim for the biggest, ugliest thing I - '  
  
'Hey Gunn!' An angry voice interrupted her. 'We call you for help and you turn up with a couple of white bread chicks?' looking towards the warehouse, Gunn saw a bloodied, angry Rondell coming towards him. 'What they gonna do? Scream him to death? Man, I never should of called you. Gio was right. You lost the mission a long time ago.'  
  
Gunn's face tightened as he tried to hold on to his temper. 'It ain't like that Rondell, and you know it. There's more to the mission than just the 'hood. I gotta be where I'm most needed bro.'  
  
'Bro? I ain't your bro. Not anymore, not since you abandoned us for that blood sucker.'  
  
Faith stepped between the two men and placed a gentle (for her) hand on each of their chests. 'As much fun as watching the male bonding is, there's a Big Bad in there that needs killing.' She gave Rondell an evil glare when he went to interrupt her. 'Just keep your boys out of my way, and take out as many of the vamps as you can handle. Leave the rest to me.' Swinging her axe onto her shoulder, she strode towards the building. As she got closer, she could hear the growls and yells and thuds of flesh against wall emanating from the building. Also, her spider sense was beyond tingling, it was screaming. 'What are you waiting for, and invitation? Let's party!'  
  
'Your girl's gonna get herself killed Gunn. How we gonna explain that to the police, huh? Some white bitch gets her ass ripped apart down here, they not gonna ignore it like they do a brother.'  
  
Gunn sighed. He was sorry for the anger Rondell and the rest of the boys felt towards him, but he wouldn't change what he was doing, even for them. The mission was too important. 'Wait and see Rondell, she might surprise you.' Lacing his fingers with Fred's, who had stayed silent since they'd arrived, he strode into the warehouse.  
  
Once through the door, Faith scanned the battle field. The conscious part of her brain receded, leaving the Slayer to the fore. To her right and in front of her, various members of Rondell's gang were involved in hand to hand with vamps. They mostly carried crosses and steaks, and worked in pairs. They were obviously used to fighting as units, and covered for each other well, but their techniques were simple, brut force over finesse. Faced with a trained warrior, they'd be in deep trouble she mused. To her left, on a raised dais, she spotted her target. A Gorfalk demon.  
  
Once she had realised she was likely to win her appeal, and would be Slaying again, Faith had started reading up on demons. She didn't know what kind of Watcher the Council might send her, so she had decided she better have some of the knowledge herself. She knew that the only way to kill a gorfalk was to take its head off. She also knew that gorfalks didn't like losing their heads, and at some point in their evolution had developed thick, scaly plates that covered their necks, making it impossible for even the strongest human to cut through it. Fortunately for Faith, unfortunately for the gorfalk, Faith was a lot stronger than the strongest human. She was a Slayer, and she was going to start living up to the responsibilities that title gave her, and start right now. Hefting the axe in her right hand, she charged the closest vampire. Seeing the on rushing woman, the vampire stepped to his right, to avoid the axe and give himself a shot at Faiths unprotected left side. Having dazzled her victim with the massive blade, she casually swung up with her left hand and staked him. He was dust before he even knew what hit him.  
  
Looking back over her shoulder, Faith saw Gunn, Fred and Rondell come through the door. Rondell still looked pissed off, Faith could see his attitude even though she couldn't here his words. 'Gunn, you know the best parties!! Now are you gonna join in, or do I get to have all the fun?!' With that she whirled away. Keeping the axe blade horizontal at head height, she span through the crowd. She was running purely on instinct now, relying on Slayer sense to avoid humans and decapitate vamps. It was risky. After what had happened with the deputy mayor, she really didn't want to hurt anyone here, but the odds against them were too great. If she stopped and thought about her every move, she'd be over run before she could get to the demon. Whilst the humans in the room didn't know what she was, the vamps and the gorfalk had made a pretty good guess.  
  
'Leave those mortals. Bring me the head of the Slayer.' The gorfalk rumbled. Faith remembered reading somewhere that because losing their heads was the only way to die, in gorfalkion society, collecting the heads of powerful enemies was a way of showing power and prestige. So not liking the sound of that.  
  
Thankfully, Gunn had understood the gorfalk too. 'Ronnie, have your people concentrate on the vamps. Leave the big ugly dude to Faith.'  
  
'What, you think you can still give me orders? That your girl there can take out that thing when we been tryin' for days? Man - '  
  
'Rondell. We haven't got time to do this right now. Look.' Vampires were leaving their fights with Rondells crew and converging on Faith. 'She's the one they want. She's the only one that can kill that thing. This is what she's born to do. Now let's do what we do, and help her.' Looking him straight in the eye, Gunn feared that Rondell would refuse, that he would call the boys off and leave Faith to die. But he didn't.  
  
'Get the vamps! Let's go! You gonna let some skinny white chick have all the fun? Let's go!' With that, the boys piled into the crowd of vampires around Faith.  
  
Throughout the whole confrontation, Faith had been oblivious. Some part of her knew that if she didn't get out of this soon, she was going to be in trouble. She had stopped moving towards the dais, where the gorfalk waited, and she was surrounded by vamps, but she was free. She was fighting for the right side again. She couldn't die now, because she hadn't got rid of the threat, but if she did die, at least she was on the right side again. At last.  
  
The crowd around her finally started to thin. Swinging the axe again, she sliced a vamps' arm off at the shoulder. As he opened his mouth to scream, but before he could make a sound, she reversed the direction of the blade, sheering his head from his neck. Two stakes and a rabbit punch later, she had a clear track to the gorfalk. She took three run up steps, and somersaulted onto the dais in front of him. 'Slayer.'  
  
'Ugly'  
  
'You think you can challenge me! I am Frayon, of the gorfalk. I will take your head and mount it on my wall. I will prove to my enemies that I am the most powerful of all the gorfalk!' He drooled as he spoke, slime glistening from the corner of his snake like mouth. 'The head of The Slayer will make a wonderful centre piece for my throne room!'  
  
'Getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren't ya' pal? Let's throw down and see what you really got.' With that, Faith and the gorfalk started circling. She didn't want her back to the room if she could help it, all it would take would be one over enthusiastic vamp, and this fight would be over. Once she had moved three quarters of the way around the circle, she stopped, and then dived at the demon, somersaulting so she came up just passed where he had stood, giving her a clean swing with her axe. The gorfalk had seen her move though, and managed to twist away, at the same time landing a side kick to her stomach that sent her careening into the wall.  
  
'Make it easy on yourself Slayer. Just give me the axe. I promise I'll make it quick.'  
  
'I've never made anything easy on myself my whole life' Faith held her stomach, bent over in pain. The she straightened, and gave the gorfalk a wink. 'Not gonna start now.' They flew at each other, fists and feet flying, the axe blade occasionally glinting through the smoke.  
  
Gunn, Fred, Rondell and his crew were finally winning the fight with the vampires. Having just staked his forth vamp of the night, Gunn stepped back, checking to make sure Fred was alright. He spotted her by the wall, and then followed her gaze to the dais at the end of the room. 'Man, I'm not sure if Angel could do that' he murmured, after Faith back flipped off the wall, over the demon's head and swung the axe at its neck. The demon managed to move sideways enough so that the blade took a slice out of his shoulder, instead of his neck. Before Gunn could watch any more, he heard Fred shriek, and ran to her rescue.  
  
After ten minutes of ducking and weaving and hefting the axe, Faith was getting tired. The time in prison had made her soft she realised. She wasn't slaying fit at the moment. Gotta end this now. If it takes much longer, I'm history. With that cheerful thought, she doubled the speed and intensity of her blows. She dropped the axe a couple of minutes ago, but it wasn't far away. Spying it on the floor, just off the dais, she gave the gorfalk two short jabs to the face, followed by a spin kick to the chest and then, continuing her turn, swept his legs. He land flat on his back with an almighty crash. Leaping over him to the floor, she grabbed the axe, and before he could regain his feet, the blade swung down. All her Slayer strength, aided by gravity, helped the blade cut through the armour plates, the muscle, the sinew, the bone. Faith kept pushing the axe down until she felt it bite into the floor of the dais under the gorfalk's neck.  
  
'What the HELL is she?!' Gunn span round at Rondell's angry shout. 'You found another tame blood sucker Gunn? Cos that sure ain't human! We let your boy Angel live, but we don't want these things runnin' around everywhere, thinkin' they're like us!'  
  
Faith finally straightened, and turned back to face the body of the room. She left the axe where it was, embedded in the dais between the gorfalk's head and neck. She saw Rondell and the boys start towards her, and looked questioningly at Gunn. 'What're you talkin' about Rondell? She just saved all your necks, and now you wanna kill her because she can do things you can't!'  
  
'I wanna kill her cos she's a blood sucker. No human could do what she just did. It's humans against vamps and that's the way it should be. You start getting lost in the grey at the edges, thinking some vamps aren't that bad. Gio was right man. You lost the mission a long time ago. Now I'm gonna show you what you should do with the monsters!'  
  
'You're wrong Ronnie.' Gunn made one last attempt at getting through to Rondell. He could feel his temper starting to fray, but held onto it. Rondell had been a brother to him growing up, had stopped him from losing it completely when Alonna got bit. He didn't want to lose his brother, even though, in his heart, he knew he was already lost. 'You're wrong about Faith and you're wrong about the mission -'  
  
'Yeah?' Rondell made a circling motion with his hand, telling the boys to surround Faith. 'I'm wrong? So what you gonna do about it? Cos the way I see it, we just gonna kill us another blood sucker here, and if you and your little girl there try and stop us, then you're protecting the demon, and that puts you on the wrong side!'  
  
'Ronnie listen to me! Since when did you care more about killing monsters than you did about saving people? She's not a vamp, she's a Slayer. She kills vamps. It's what she was born to do.'  
  
'Yeah right' cruel laughter rang through the warehouse 'Are you trying to tell me that some white bread chick was born to hunt vampires? That she's stronger and faster and all that?' As Gunn nodded, Rondell snorted derisively 'then how come we ain't never seen her before?'  
  
'Because she was protecting the hellmouth.' A new voice joined the argument.  
  
'Anne, What you doin' here girl? It's not safe.'  
  
'You're right Ronnie, it's not, but people like the Slayer help to make it safer. I knew a Slayer once. I was young and stupid, and thought vampires were the coolest thing. She saved me, and a year or so later, she saved me again. She was in L.A, running from something. When I lost Ricky,' she absently rubbed at her arm, 'she helped me, even when I blamed her for things that weren't her fault, she helped me. She saved me from Hell, and she showed me how to help myself. how to be Anne.' The girl looked up at Faith 'I guess she's dead now, if you're here.'  
  
Faith looked unsure, 'about this big, blond, goes by the name of Buffy?' She grinned as she saw Gunn's startled reaction to the name. Anne nodded warily. 'Oh, she's still around. CPR.' She added at Anne's look of confusion.  
  
Anne walked towards Faith, and hugged her. 'If you see her, tell her Lily says thanks.' Then she turned to Rondell. 'The Slayer's are some of the most powerful weapons our side has Ronnie. And even if you did attack her, she'd just kick your arse. She came here, not knowing any of you, and she saved you.' She laughed at the mutinous look on Rondell's face 'I know you guys want to believe you can handle anything, and mostly you can, but its okay to ask a Slayer for help every once in a while. It's what they do. You asked Gunn for help, and he came through. Don't you think you could try to be friends again?'  
  
'He came this time, but how many times has he not been there? How many times have we come up against God knows what, and he's not been there, cause he was too busy with his blood sucker friend?' Rondell turned to face Gunn 'you was our leader man. We've been together since we was kids, but you don't wanna be around us no more. You got more important things to do. Well that's fine man. That's your choice. But choices have consequences, and here's yours. You wanna run around with your new crew, that's fine, cause we don't want you down here no more. You ain't welcome in the 'hood anymore. So enjoy your knew friends. Maybe white bread over there can help you forget what you did, who you left behind.'  
  
Gunn glared at Rondell silently, and then around at the rest of the boys. Finally, his gaze came back to Ronnie. 'You know what Rondell. I'm sick of apologising for the things I've done. The work we do is important, but you can't see outside of what's going on in the 'hood. I never abandoned you, I just saw the bigger picture man. I did what had to be done. You called me remember? You asked me for help, and when I bring it, when we save your ass, all you can do is threaten my friend, just like you threatened Angel. You don't want me coming down here? Well that's good, because I don't think I could take the sight of you, and what you've all become!' He took a deep breath. 'Good luck, to all of you. If this is what you've become, you're gonna need it!' he glanced around. 'Fred, Faith, let's get outta here.' With that, they headed out. One of the boys didn't get out of Gunn's way in time, and found himself shouldered aside by Gunn's great strength.  
  
They climbed into the truck silently, Fred again protected between Faith and Gunn. As they pulled away from the warehouse, the muscles in Gunn's jaw quilted as he fought to keep his temper. Faith and Fred shared a worried look before Fred gently placed a hand on Gunn's arm. 'Charles.'  
  
'Not now Fred. I can't talk about this now, okay.' They drove in silence for half an hour, before they ground to a halt in some of L.A's mystery traffic. No matter what time of day or night, you could hit it without warning. There was no knowing what had caused it or how long you would be stuck in it. It was just one of the added benefits of living in L.A. Gunn finally broke he heavy silence by hitting the steering wheel and swearing. Then he went back to glowering at the traffic ahead of them.  
  
Fred and Faith exchanged looks, then Fred timidly tried talking to her man again. 'Charles.? Do you wanna.maybe , talk about it?' Gunn stayed silent, and Fred's speech speeded up to babble speed. 'Cause, y'know, if you don't want to, that's okay. I just thought maybe you'd want to because of the way they were your friends and they were so horrible to you -'  
  
Gunn held up a hand to stop the flow of words, and managed a tired smile for Fred. He could never stay miserable with her around. 'It's okay baby, really. It makes me mad, ya'know? They were my crew, but they can't see past what's right in front of them. I don't want to lose them, they were my life when I was a kid, but I know that what we did is right. I couldn't go back to that now. Not ever. After the way they were with Faith, and with Angel before. I don't even know if I'd want to be friends with those people anymore. But it still.They were my link with my past, with Alonna. Part of me feels like I'm losing her again.' He leant over and wrapped his arms around Fred, drawing comfort from her slender form as Faith tried to disappear into the wall of the truck. They're tender moment was interrupted by a blast on the horn of the car behind them as the traffic started to move again.  
  
As they pulled up by the Hyperion, Gunn turned to Faith 'so what now? That was some pretty impressive fighting back there, and we could always use another warrior for the cause, but some how I don't see Cordy or Wes welcoming you back with open arms.'  
  
Faith glanced between the two of them, and then stared fixedly at a spot just over Gunn's shoulder as she answered. 'I don't know. I'm hoping I can come and work with you guys. If not.well, I got other places I can go. Right now I know I'm fighting for the right side again. I need to keep doing that.' She finally met Gunn's eyes and flashed him one of her devil may care grins. Gunn wasn't fooled though. He could see the apprehension in her eyes.  
  
'You made a good start. Let's go see if we can find the others.' Opening is door, he jumped down from the truck, and then turned back to offer Fred a hand. Faith came round from the other side of the truck, and together the three of them walked through the main doors of the Hyperion.  
  
Angel stood where Cordelia had left him, his mind whirling. He couldn't hang on to any of his thoughts for long, because every time he tried, the insistent thudding of his heart would distract him again. His heart beat. It's real this time. I won't give it back this time. My heart beat. my soul. my freedom. Where do I begin? Hearing the door open, he turned, ready to help his first helpless as a human being. Instead he saw Faith.  
  
Coming through the door, Faith felt her adrenalin begin to pump. In most people this is known as the fight or flight reaction. In a Slayer, there is only ever going to be one outcome. Faith felt that hyper alertness wash over her, that usually signalled imminent battle. Even as she calmed herself though, she knew something was missing, although she had no clue what. Figure it out later, right now stay calm and maybe Angel won't throw you out. She hadn't realised until that moment just how worried she was about Angel's reaction. Suddenly, she realised what it was that was missing, what she wasn't feeling. She wasn't feeling any vampires. Her spider sense had been working fine back at the warehouse, so how come she couldn't sense Angel? Staring at him she realised she could see his chest moving up and down.what the hell is going on here?  
  
'Faith? What are you doing here?' She just stared at Angel, dazed. 'Faith?' he took a step towards her, and in doing so his left hand was splashed with sunlight. Instead of leaping back as he normally would, he didn't even seem to notice. 'Are you okay? Gunn, Fred.What's wrong with her?' Fred and Gunn shrugged at him, unsure of what had happened to Faith.  
  
Finally, Faith found her voice enough to mutter 'appeal'. Then she leapt down the two steps and across the gap between them, throwing herself at Angel and nearly bowling him over in the process. Wrapping her arms around him, she burrowed her head into his chest, and then listened for the sound she didn't dare believe she would hear. There it was though thumpthump thumpthump.  
  
Gunn and Fred simply stared in astonishment until Faith finally tipped her head back so she could look up into Angel's face without letting go of him. 'You're alive.' She stepped back, still holding onto his hands. 'You're alive!' Incapable of thought, unnoticing of Fred and Gunn's baffled stares, Faith threw herself at Angel again, this time hard enough to knock him to the floor. A bright flash of light brought her back to herself, made Faith realise the position she was in, straddling Angel, and she began to get off him. Before she could though, she felt a body crash into her side, moving her off Angel and slamming her into the weapons cabinet. Before she could recover from the shock of the tackle, a fist hit the side of her head, spinning her sideways and away from her unknown opponent. Rolling to her feet, Faith came up ready to fight.  
  
'Both of you STOP' a familiar female voice commanded, and Faith risked a glance away from her attacker towards the voice, and the source of the light. What she saw caused her jaw to drop.  
  
TBC. 


	5. Part 5 Connor

Please see first part for disclaimer.  
  
Anything in italics is thought.  
  
AN. I found this chapter really hard to write, cos I don't know the character of Connor well enough to make sure he stays in character. Sorry about that, but I've always found him to be an annoying brat anyway. Through the course of my story, he will grow up a bit and become less annoying (to me at least).  
  
R & R as always.  
  
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Having connected with Connor's soul before, when she cleansed it for him, Cordelia had little trouble locating him once she left the Hyperion.  
  
She found him walking on a deserted beech, with Justine, the red headed Slayer - wannabe. Dawn was just beginning to break when she got near them. They sounded as if they were saying their goodbyes.  
  
'It's over now Steven.' Cordelia heard Justine say. Hmm, think I'll just wait and see if I can find out anything interesting here, before I make myself know.  
  
'The beast is gone. You'll never have to worry about him again.' She paused, and then added vehemently 'he's getting what he deserves'  
  
Something doesn't feel quite right there Cordelia mused, as she continued to listen.  
  
'I know. He'll have eternity to think of all the wrongs he's done. It just.'  
  
'What Steven? Come on kid. You didn't buy that whole "I love you son" bullshit did you? He knew it was over. Appealing to you, hoping you wouldn't see him for the monster he is was his only hope!'  
  
'Oh that is so much crap!' Cordelia glowed in, in front of them. She had meant to listen for longer, but Justine's comments had really pissed her off. 'Angel could've taken you down any time he wanted to. He loves his son, and would never ever do anything to hurt him, even if that means letting himself be hurt in the process!'  
  
Justine and Connor both stared at her. Finally Connor spoke 'What are you!? You are a demon! I should have killed you before. Your demon nature has taken you over!'  
  
Even as he yelled at her, Cordelia could sense the confusion within him. In the Kurtogh, attack first and ask questions later had defiantly been the rule. Now, when he was shocked by something, his mind reverted to his old ways. Even as he tried to make himself attack her though, he couldn't. Connor's senses were very keen, partly from growing up in the Kurtogh, partly from being the offspring of two vampires. He knew what evil tasted like to his senses. He knew Cordelia wasn't it. He froze, ready to attack, but knowing he mustn't.  
  
Justine had no such reservations. Drawing the knife she kept in a sheath strapped to her forearm, she slashed at Cordelia's face..and gasped in horror as the blade passed straight through her body, not leaving a mark. 'What the hell are you?!'  
  
Looking her up and down, Cordy drawled 'More than you'll ever be.' Then she turned towards Connor, presenting her back to Justine and effectively dismissing her from the conversation.  
  
'No! What are you doing here? What do you want? How can you be with the monster when you're a being of good!?'  
  
'Connor -'  
  
'Don't call me that! My name is Steven. My father gave me the name Steven, after the son the monster stole from him! . My name is Steven.'  
  
'No. Your name is Connor. Your father gave you the name Connor, Angel gave you that name, and he loves you.'  
  
'He's a monster' Connor growled. His emotions spiked, all his grief, anger and confusion piling out of him. Grief and anger over Holtz's death, but confusion because he had started believing in Angel. Part of him couldn't understand how Angel could be the monster his father assured him he was, yet have so many friends. No. Wrong. Mustn't think that. He murdered my father I know he did. I saw the bite mark at his throat, and all the blood. And now he's paying. He's evil. He's getting what he deserves. 'How can you say he loves me. You don't know what he has done.' He moved to turn away, but was stopped by a solid hand on his arm.  
  
'I do know what he's done Connor. I know he loves you, and he's hurting right now because of it. He would never do anything to hurt you. That's why he didn't fight back when you nailed him into that coffin. He would never. could never, do anything to hurt you.'  
  
'Liar! He murdered my father. I saw the bite mark on his throat. Saw the blood.'  
  
Before Cordelia could answer, she felt a blast of emotion from Justine; guilt, grief and satisfaction. Oh. shit. That's how it happened.  
  
'I know how it happened Connor. Oh crap. How do I explain this without destroying him? Screw if. I've never tried tact before. Why start now? 'You saw him, didn't you? After. You found him. You saw the bite on his neck?  
  
'I saw him, my father. Lying there, where the monster dropped him after he tore his throat open, letting his blood spill on the ground!' The anger, the hate, was strong in Connor now I was right. He should suffer for eternity.  
  
'No. Connor, think about it. You say that his throat was torn open, that the bite wasn't clean? But you know that older, experienced vampires don't make a mess when they bite, don't tear the wound. It's a matter of pride.'  
  
'So he was excited, finally able to kill his old enemy, and he went too far!'  
  
'No. Calm down and think about this would ya'. If the demon had gone all out, he would've ripped Holtz throat clean out, he would have drained his blood and painted the walls with it. He didn't though, did he? There was a lot of blood, wasn't there? It didn't look like any of it had actually been drunk, just like his throat had been opened and he'd died from that.'  
  
'What are you saying? That the monster killed my father but wouldn't even take his blood?'  
  
'Geez kid, you're meant to have a clue about these things. Look, I know hating Angel and having Holtz as the fallen hero ties things up in a real neat little box for you, but it doesn't work like that.' She was aware of Justine, hovering just behind her, ready to jump into the conversation should Connor stray from the party line. She ignored her. 'The demon that killed Holtz's family was a thing of evil, no question about it,' her voice softened sympathetically 'and it looks just like your father, but it's not. Your father, your real father, is a good man. He feels bad about what happened to Holtz, but it wasn't his fault. He even understands how Holtz felt, because he lost his own son, you.'  
  
'You're wrong. You're wrong! He's not even a man, and he's tricked you, all of you into believing he wants to help people, but really, he's the same monster he's always been -'  
  
'Okay, Listen up kid. Have you been paying attention at all while you've been here? Angel helps people. I know this. I've known this for the last six years. Even before all this-' she gestured vaguely at the sky '- I knew Angel was good. Now I know how good.' At Connors look of incomprehension, Cordelia realised she hadn't actually explained her change in circumstance. Okay, back story 'You remember my, even if I do say so myself, pretty impressive entrance back there?' Connor nodded, warily. 'Well, basically, the Powers made me into a Higher Being.'  
  
'No way! You're lying. You're part demon and it's taken over!' Justine's mental denial was a whole lot louder than her verbal ones, but so she didn't confuse Connor, who was in shock, Cordelia decided to go with the arguments he had already heard. Also, she was really looking forward to taking Justine down. That whole grunge look was so over in the retro crowd were past it.  
  
'Yeah, you just keep screaming missy, cause you know when you finally stop, I'm still gonna be right, which means you're still wrong.'  
  
'No. It's not true.' Justine was backing away from Cordelia now.  
  
'Yes it is. And that means everything you've based your life on since Julie died has been a lie.' Cordy paused, looking into Justine for a hint as to her true alignment in the pantheon of good and evil. 'I'm sorry your sister died, I really am. And I understand wanting to do something. Hey, been there myself. But you did it way wrong sister. Holtz was a good man, once, but he got corrupted by the demon, by hate. He lost the way and he found revenge. All of this, the whole thing. It wasn't about justice. It was about revenge, on a being who doesn't even exist anymore. He attacked Angel because he couldn't see past his hate to the good man Angel has become. He took Angel's son, only so that Angel could feel the pain he had felt. He twisted the boy he claimed to love, telling Connor he came from evil, and taught him to hate his father, and part of himself.'  
  
She took another step towards Justine, who stepped back again. She was almost at the tide line now. 'But worst of all,' Cordelia's voice was low and hypnotic. She knew Connor had followed her, was listening to what she said with a kind of terrible fascination, 'worst of all, his hate was stronger than the love he claimed for his adopted son. That's why he had you kill him, stab him in the neck with that ice pick. He knew that Connor was wavering, wondering if Angel really was as bad as he said, and he couldn't face the idea of Angel being reunited with his son, in the way he could never be.' Justine stared at her, out of dead, defiant eyes.  
  
'No.' The sound Connor made was desperate, almost a plea. Cordelia could feel his heart shattering at her words. She didn't want to hurt him, but he needed to know the truth. His father, his true father, was still alive, and loved him. If Connor could trust him, the wounds in his heart could be healed. He would have the family he was meant to have.  
  
'He was dieing Connor. The Kurtogh was killing him, just as it was killing you. I never got the chance to heal him. He knew he was dieing. This was his last, best chance to destroy Angel, and he took it. The hate had eaten away the good in him. Revenge was all he could see at the end.'  
  
'He did love you Steven' Justine came back to life. Her belief in Holtz fuelled her fire. 'He did! He wanted to make sure you understood what kind of monster Angel is! Your father's last wish was for you to carry on his fight against evil. To destroy it.' She's wrong. She has to be wrong! Holtz was good, he saved me!! He was extreme, but that's because he knew what had to be done. He lost so much, it's not surprising he was hard. She's wrong. She has to be, or else I am.  
  
'You are.'  
  
'What?' Justine's emotions may have been raging, but she tried to keep her hard arse façade up.  
  
She's like a low rent version of Faith Cordelia mused. 'You don't get it, do you? Or maybe you don't want to. The Powers That Be gave me a promotion. They made me a Higher Being because of all the good I, and the people I work with, have done. That means if you fight against me, you fight against The Powers. You're the one lost in the darkness girl, not me. Holtz may have led the way, but you happily followed him into hell.'  
  
'No' She whispered it this time, holding her hands in front of her to ward off Cordy, and frantically shaking her head. 'No. You're wrong. He was a good man. He understood what had to be done, that sometimes you have to be willing to get dirty, to beat them at their own game. That's why he made me kill him, so the Steven could see, he had to, don't you understand!? He just wanted to make sure he didn't forget what Angelus is.' There were tears running down her face as she tried to deny what Cordelia was telling her, tried to rationalise Holtz behaviour.  
  
'You?' Connors voice shook. 'You killed him? Why? No! It's not true - I-'  
  
'Connor' Cordelia's voice had taken on the deep, melodic tone it had when she soothed Angel. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry honey.' She wrapped her arms around his rigid form and held him tight. 'Holtz loved you in his own way, but his need for vengeance over took everything. Justine didn't want to kill him, she loved him, but he gave her an order, and she's a good little soldier.' He's not getting it. All he's feeling is betrayal, how do I tell him that there are people out there who want to love him, so much? Unless.They said I needed to stop thinking like a human.  
  
Keeping her arms around Connor, she concentrated on her memories; of Angel saving people, of when Connor himself was born, Angel's joy in him, and her own. She thought of his grief when he lost him, and the private conversations they had had about how Angel would win him back, and make things right between them. Finally, she showed him what had happened earlier that morning, how she had rescued Angel, and that all he had wanted to do was go out and look for Connor, to make things right between them. She showed him the memories she had pulled out of Justine, of Holtz ordering her to kill him, but not his actual death. Finally, she showed him how she had healed Angel, made him human.  
  
Justine looked on, as the vampires' bitch sidekick embraced Steven. She had to be lying. There was no way Holtz was the bad guy here!! As she continued to watch, she realised that what's her name - Cordelia, had started to glow, and Steven was glowing too! What the hell is she doing to him?! As she tried to move forwards though, to separate the two, it was as if an invisible force held her back, not letting her touch either of them. The glow got brighter and brighter, upstaging the sun that was crawling over the horizon, until Justine was forced to turn away from it. When she finally managed to open her eyes again, she saw that the glow had gone. The two of them were no longer embracing, but Cordelia still had a reassuring hand on Connors arm.  
  
'You killed him.' His voice was curiously devoid of emotion. 'You killed him, because he told you too. Because he wanted me to hate .hate my father that much?'  
  
'Steven no! He loved you, he wanted you to understand -'  
  
'Cordelia is right. I don't understand how she did it, but everything she said is the truth.'  
  
'No! It's a trick! Some kind of evil magick trick! They're the enemy! Can't you see that Steven? Your father wanted us to destroy these people, and we can! You have to come away with me now, and we can!'  
  
'I know that now. He wanted to destroy Angel and all those who stood with him, but they're good people. They're on the right side. Trying to destroy them, makes him, you, all of us, wrong.'  
  
Cordelia could feel the anger in him. Anger at Holtz for taking him away, at Justine for killing the only father he had ever known, and anger at himself for not believing what was in front of his own eyes. Above it all though, he had hope now. Hope was something he had known little of. He had known to kill, to survive, to endure. For the first time, he looked towards the future, the near future at least, with something other than grim tenacity.  
  
He turned his head back to Cordelia, 'I want to see my father now.'  
  
'NO' Justine screamed, advancing on Connor with her knife, still clutched in her hand since she had tried to slash at Cordelia. Can't let him go to Angel. Mustn't let Holtz down. Can't let him go to Angel. Mustn't let Holtz down.She chanted it in her head, like a mantra, as she moved into an offensive stance, ready to attack. Holtz would prefer him to be dead than with Angel. I can do that for him.  
  
'Yeah, cause I'm gonna let you get close enough to him to hurt him.'  
  
'Huh!?' Justine's gaze swung between Connor and Cordelia. 'Who the Hell do you think you are? What right do you have to come down here and mess with peoples' lives!! We were doing fine before you came, now you've screwed it all up.'  
  
'You don't get it, do you? You don't play with lives and souls and demons, and then complain that it isn't fair when it doesn't go your way! What you did to Angel isn't fair but he's still out there, fighting the good fight. You're the bad guy Justine, you got lost in the hate and now you're the bad guy. And if you ever, EVER take a shot at Connor, I will take you straight to hell. Do you understand me? Straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Holtz came from a much harsher time, and had hunted demons for years. You think you're so tough? You wouldn't last a day in the hell dimension I'll find for you if you come after any of mine again.' Cordelia was glowing again. Her voice had changed, taken on a thunderous tone, as she loomed towards Justine.  
  
Justine stumbled back, trying to get away from the words being hurled at her. She knew, on some level she knew that Cordy was right, but she would never, ever admit it, even to herself.  
  
'You killed him. You killed the father who raised me, and between you, you plotted to make me kill the father of my birth. Now you wish to kill me? You want me to have nothing? You would rather see me dead than with a father who loves me? What did I do to deserve this from you?' The pain, confusion, and anger, were all very easy to hear in Connors voice.  
  
'You don't understand,' Justine half sobbed. 'He left me. He abandoned me here for you. He sacrificed everything, so that he could save you from that demon. He wanted me to make sure you hated him too.' Her anger surfaced. 'He abandoned me to be with you, and now you want to go snivelling to his worst enemy! Ungrateful little bastard!' She snarled at Connor. 'But then, he should have expected it. The brat of two blood suckers. He died for you, and you betray him -'  
  
Connor's backhanded strike was so quick, so unexpected, it took even Cordy by surprise 'Gotta tell ya' Didn't see that coming. Not that it's a bad thing.'  
  
Justine stumbled to the side, and then crashed to the wet sand. Connor was on her in seconds, grabbing the wrist of her knife hand, twisting it and applying pressure, so that she was forced to lie on her front with her arm held straight up behind her. If Connor twisted any further, he'd have broken her arm. Instead, he snatched the knife from her grip, and then, changing the angle slightly, dragged her to her feet in front of him. With her back pressed to his front, he held the knife to her throat. 'Traitor. Murderer. He left you here with nothing, and you wanted to make sure I had the same. I should kill you here for what you have done - '  
  
'Connor NO!' Cordelia yelled.  
  
He just stared at her for a second, and then loosened his grip on Justine's throat, ever so slightly 'but I won't. Because living here, with no one, is worse than death. You would have given me that fate! Now I give it to you.' He flung her away from him, so she span and fell to her hands and knees, collapsing into the wet sand at the edge of the surf. She glared at Connor, through her curtain of hair, but then dropped her head forwards so her forehead touched the sand, her whole body locked in a posture of defeat. She flattened and rolled onto her side, eyes staring into nothingness.  
  
Connor gave her one last contemptuous glare, and turned back to Cordelia. 'I want to see my father now.'  
  
Cordelia glanced between Justine, where she lay on the ground, defeated, and Connor. He stood in front of her rigidly, almost daring her to refuse him. She just looked at him, first the outside, then the inside. 'No.'  
  
'What? You refuse? How can you refuse me this!? You are the one who showed me the truth. Now you will not let me see him?! It is not your decision to make. If my father decides he cannot forgive me, then that is up to him, not you!'  
  
'You really are your father's son.' From her tone of voice, Connor could tell that she didn't mean that as a compliment. 'I'm not taking you to see Angel until you've calmed down. You're so used to being angry with him, you don't know how to be anything else. You're grieving for Holtz and now you're swamped with guilt. If I take you to Angel now, there is no way you're going to do anything but fight. You need to calm down, work out how you feel.' When Connor went to interrupt her, she silenced him with look. 'They don't have to make sense. Feelings rarely do. But if you don't understand how you feel, how the hell do you expect someone else to? Let's get outta here.'  
  
By the time Connor had processed what she had said, they were reappearing in the alleyway behind some diner 'Why did you bring me here?'  
  
'You're fifteen aren't you? From what I can remember about fifteen year old boys, eating is way up there on their things we want to do list. So, we'll eat, we'll talk, you'll calm down, then we'll go and see Angel.  
  
Once they were seated opposite each other in an incredibly uncomfortable cream plastic booth, with plastic padding Cordelia was sure was patterned on what was left on pavements on Sunday mornings outside some of the dodgier clubs in L.A, they ordered. Full breakfast platter for Connor, coffee for Cordelia. They sat facing each other but without making eye contact. Connor had become fascinated by the paper napkin his cutlery was wrapped in. Cordelia was watching Connors emotions whizzing about. Trying to cut across that lot and speak to him so he would understand was somewhat a kin to trying to cross an eight lane highway on foot, so she decided to wait for him to start the conversation again.  
  
When his food arrived, Connor attacked it with gusto, as if he hadn't eaten for a week. Cordelia sipped her coffee and waited. Eventually, when Connor had cleared his entire plate, something Cordelia thought privately was a minor miracle given the amount of food he had started off with, Connor raised his head and managed to meet her eyes again. 'What now?' he asked.  
  
'That's up to you. You can eat 'til you explode. You can get on a bus and get out of here.' She grinned at the look of astonishment on Connor's face. 'You can come with me to see Angel, and try and make things work between the two of you. I personally would recommend the third option, but it's up to you Connor. It's your choice. You have all the information, and it's up to you what you do with it. No one will force you to make a decision.' Connor relaxed slightly into his seat, he had thought for a horrible second that he wasn't going o be allowed to see Ang - his father. 'But,' Cordelia continued. Something in her one made Connor tense up again 'I'm not taking you to see my best friend before we get a few things sorted out.'  
  
Connor started at her 'I know I made a big mess of things, I know I hurt him, but you have to give me the chance to apologise for that. You said he loved me. you should forgive the ones you love.right?'  
  
Cordelia could feel his fear and frustration welling up, and the anger that was growing from that. 'No. Just stop. This is what I mean. Angel loves you, and he understands why you did what you did. He isn't angry, he just wants a chance to build a relationship with you.' Connor stared at her, not sure whether he was being told he could see his father again or he couldn't. 'If you go in feeling guilty, Angel will interpret that as his fault, and he'll start apologising for everything, even though it's NOT his fault. It's not a place you two can build a relationship from.'  
  
Connor continued to stare at her 'what do you want me to do then? Should I just leave, or send him letter? Maybe you think flowers and a note would be a good idea!' As his confusion rose, so did his voice, until most of the diner was staring at them.  
  
'No.' She placed a restraining hand on his arm. 'I want to take you to him now, but I need to know that you aren't going to behave like this when you see him. He doesn't think you have anything to feel sorry for. He doesn't blame you for anything. If you can get over it, and forgive yourself, then the two of you have a good shot at getting to know each other, having a proper relationship. I mean it. That's all you have to do. Forgive yourself, and no. I'm not making this all up.'  
  
Connor jolted at her last remark.  
  
'I can read minds, remember. Think about it. As soon as you believe your father isn't angry, that he isn't waiting for an apology from you, and you're open to what he has to say to you, I'll take you to him.'  
  
They sat there, staring at each other. Connor moved to speak impatiently, but Cordy interrupted him 'You can't just hear it, you have to know it. We'll go as soon as you're ready.' They sat in the booth for almost an hour, Connor turning his thoughts over and over in his head, and Cordy watching them spin. Occasionally she gave him a subliminal nudge, just to et him past the odd major hurdle.  
  
Suddenly, Cordy held her hand up. 'Check please.' She grinned at Connor. 'Well done.'  
  
'What did I do? I still don't know if I even understand all the stuff you've told me?'  
  
'Yes, but you're open to possibilities now. Now let's get outside. I don't think transporting from inside a diner, even if it is fairly empty, is a good idea.' Leading Connor outside, and down the alley again, she gave him one last hug. Are you ready?' He nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and Cordy took both his hands in hers and concentrated on the lobby of the Hyperion, where she had left Angel.  
  
As they reappeared in the Hyperion, they saw Angel knocked to the floor by a small, dark haired figure, whilst Gunn and Fred stared on in amazement. The joy coming off the dark haired woman was so strong, combined with the fact that Cordelia had just realised this happy soul was Faith, it didn't even occur to her that Connor might not know she wasn't a threat, until he streaked past her and tackled the dark Slayer off his fathers body.  
  
Watching Faith role to her feet as Connor eased into an attacking stance, Cordelia would have been quite amused that the only thing both of them were thinking at that point was 'Protect Angel' if their intentions hadn't been quite so deadly. Also, neither of them had realised the other was human.  
  
'Both of you STOP now.'  
  
TBC 


	6. Part 6 Wesley

A.N. First of all, Aredhel, Kat, Cristal. Cocoakitty (love the new name) and Best of Buffy, cheers for the reviews I love 'em. Please send more.  
  
Secondly, Rhapsody child of the sky - As soon as they start selling psychic spell checks, I'm first in line. Until then, I can't touch type so I don't look at the screen when I'm typing. If it's still a word so the spell check doesn't pick it up. shit happens.  
  
Thirdly, Chaos Jen - Unfinished fics are a major pet hate of mine. Don't worry. I have the out line of the whole story written down, and I promise I'll finish it. That's the good news. The bad news is it's gonna take me ages. When I started it was just going to be one, not particularly long fic. It's turned into a four part story, involving Stargate SG1 and Highlander as well as BtVS and Ats, this being the first part. I'm sorry but it kept growing in my head til I was happy with it, and I'm having to fit in writing around life, which keeps getting in the way. I hate having to wait for the next part too. Sorry!!!  
  
I know I said to a few people that Connor was going to get his arse kicked, and that really was the plan.it just didn't quite turn out like that. I have a feeling I'm writing Connor totally out of character, but like I said before, he was an annoying brat in the series anyway.  
  
Two questions for any Highlander TS fans out there to help with later chapters: 1) What was the name of the demon Duncan was fighting when he accidentally took Ritchie's head? 2) Was it ever mentioned which of the Four Horsemen Cronus was? Methos was Death, but I don't know if we ever found out which the other three where. Please email me if you know the answers.  
  
As usual, anything in italics is thought.  
  
Please keep up with the reviews. I love getting them.  
  
Story time.  
  
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Faith and Connor froze. Neither of them was willing to drop their guard, but Cordelia's command, that they both STOP, had been impossible to resist.  
  
Angel raised an eyebrow at Cordelia. Remembering that she could read minds, he simply thought his question. Why did you bring Connor here?  
  
The answer formed in his head, almost like a thought, but not his own. He knows the truth now. He wants to try. Cordelia looked at him, and then tilted her head impatiently. What are you waiting for, a written invitation?  
  
Angel took a deep breath Weird; I'd forgotten what it was like to do that for anything other than show. Squaring his shoulders, he called out to his son. 'Connor.this is my friend, Faith. Faith, meet my son, Connor.'  
  
'But she attacked you. When we arrived, I saw.'  
  
'Faith can be a little over enthusiastic at times, but she was really just trying to say hello.'  
  
Connor was confused, how could a small woman knock my father down? It's because he doesn't trust me! He won't tell me who his enemies are.  
  
Sensing the direction of his thoughts, Cordelia interrupted them. 'Faith is special; she has super powers, speed and strength. She's just a little.over enthusiastic. at times.'  
  
Relaxing from her ready stance, Faith held out her hand to Connor. 'Pleased to meet you kid. I've heard a lot about you from your old man. That was some tackle back there. Maybe we could.work out together some time?'  
  
Connor shrugged, still unsure of the woman in front of him, but he met her handshake, and then indulged himself in a strength contest by gripping her hand far harder than necessary. He was somewhat surprised when she grinned at him and tightened her own grip until he thought his knuckles were about to crack. She tossed him a wink, and then stepped back.  
  
Silence rained. Gunn and Fred stared at Connor. Obviously something had happened to change his feelings towards Angel since the last time they had seen him. They still didn't have the full story on Faith, Angel appeared to be alive, and Cordy was glowing. Angel wanted to know why Connor was protecting him again, and whether Faiths reappearance from prison was legal, or if her appeal had come in the form of her fist in somebody else's face. Faith wanted to know what the deal was with Cordelia beaming in and acting like a light bulb. They hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms. Thanks to being able to read all the other beings in the room, Cordelia had a pretty good handle on what was going on, but wanted to hide from all the emotions flying about.  
  
Surprisingly, it was Connor who spoke first. 'Father.' He walked over to Angel, until he stood directly in front of him. 'Father. Cordelia has shown me.what happened. What you were, what you have become. Your soul. the truth about Holtz. I am truly sorry for everything I have done. I apologise to you here, now, in front of your friends as I accused you in front of them not long ago.' He glanced at Cordelia for reassurance, and then continued. 'Cordelia told me that you bear me no ill will, that you still love me as your son. If this is true then.' he had to fight down the blockage in his throat before he could continue 'then I hope we can get to know each other, as a son and his father should.'  
  
Angel stared at his son, disbelieving his own ears. If this had happened a couple of hours ago, Angelus would be back in a big way! Cordelia snorted at the irreverent thought that crossed Angel's mind before he seemed to unfreeze from the position he had been in since Connor addressed him. Grabbing his son by the arms, he pulled him into a fierce embrace. They were both crying openly now. Love, happiness, unbelieving joy, and a hint of trepidation rolled off both of them. They stumbled backwards onto the red couches in the centre of the lobby, where Angel gathered Connor up into is arms, and allowed his son to weep for all that had been, all that could have been and all that would be.  
  
Awed and not a little uncomfortable around such a powerful and naked display of emotion, Faith crept backwards, away from the embracing father and son. She stopped when she bumped into something solid, and winced when she realised it was Cordelia. What do I say now? "Hey, sorry I knocked you out and tortured your friend last time I saw you" Possibly the lamest apology ever.  
  
Cordelia tried not to smirk as she listened in. I was a bitch a lot longer than I've be an HB!!  
  
Faith forced herself to look Cordelia in the eye. 'Look. there's no way I can apologise for the stuff I've done, but I'm gonna try and make up for it, okay? I'm gonna try and like.atone? Okay?' She met her gaze head on, willing her to believe, knowing there was no reason she should, not knowing that Cordy was currently reading her every thought and emotion.  
  
'Damn!'  
  
Faith blinked, confused. 'What?'  
  
'You mean it.' Faith's bemused expression didn't alter. 'You really are sorry. You really do want to make amends. I can't even be mad about the two auditions I missed because of that oh so attractive black eye you gave me!' Faith winced. 'I mean, I think Higher Being ranks just above international superstar, don't you?' She glanced from Faith to Fred and Gunn, and then over to Angel with an inquisitive raise of the eyebrow.  
  
'Cordy?' Gunn finally spoke. 'What happened? I mean, yesterday seemed like a fairly normal day. for us. Now Angel's alive, you're glowing, Connor's being nice to Angel and we've got an ex-con Slayer wanting to join the team.?'  
  
'You think this is confusing?' Cordelia smirked 'wait til you meet the Scooby gang.'  
  
'What!?' Faith suddenly looked panicked. Facing Cordelia and Angel is one thing, I can't face the Scoobies yet.B'll just give me that look and my mouth'll disconnect from my brain!  
  
Cordy's expression changed as she listened to Faith's thoughts. Although her human personality wanted Faith to suffer for what she had done, with her expanded senses, Cord understood the depth of her remorse, and her fear at facing the judgement of the Scoobies, particularly Buffy. 'Yep. We're all off to the hellmouth.' She held up her hand to forestall Faiths argument. 'You know there's something big coming Faith. You've been sensing it for weeks, months now. All of this.' she mad a vague, all encompassing gesture, including all those in the Hyperion lobby as well as the sky outside '.is part of the build up.'  
  
That's great Cordy, but what do you mean exactly? All.' Gunn imitated her gesture '.this'  
  
'Right. From the beginning. The PTB made me a Higher Being. Don't think so amazed!' She shot Faith a sly grin 'I can read minds now, emotions and thoughts too.' Faith gulped audibly. 'That's why you're still here girlfriend. Anyway, just so we're all on the same page.Cliff notes version. Connor thought Angel killed Holtz so he locked Angel in a metal coffin and dropped him in the ocean with the help of Justine, who actually killed Holtz, on Holtzes orders. I got Angel out, brought him here and made him human.' She steamed right passed the mental shrieks of amazement. 'Then I went and got Connor, showed him the truth and brought him here too. That's pretty much it. Oh - 'she flashed Faith another grin '- and I got to see the aftermath of Willow nearly ending the world. Compared to what she's been doing, you're a cupcake sweetie.'  
  
Faith stared at Cordelia shocked, not sure if she'd just been insulted, but not really surprised. She remembered her dreams of Willow falling into darkness.  
  
'Willow? That little red head that came to tell us about Buffy dieing?' Gunn snorted 'What was her evil plan? Was she gonna scrabble the world to death? I only met her once, but she didn't seem to be the big bad type.'  
  
'Willow is now the most powerful Wiccan in the world, quite possibly the most powerful Wiccan ever.' Cordelia informed him. 'She eviscerated the guy who murdered her girlfriend with a thought.' Gunn gulped at this revelation. 'Anyway, that situation is under control right now. We have another problem to deal with. Before we can hook up with the Scoobies, we've got to work out how to get Angel and Wes talking again.'  
  
'Oh hey, no problem!' Fred stared at Cordy with a look that said have you gone insane!? 'Angel only tried to kill him while he was lying in a hospital bed, and swore he'd succeed next time. It'll be a piece o'cake, if you believe in miracles.'  
  
'I made Angel into a living, breathing human being today.'  
  
'Oh.'  
  
'So', Gunn took over the conversation as Fred was looking somewhat dazed by Cordelia's comment. She hadn't quite processed all the revelations that she had heard that morning. 'How are we actually going to do this? One of us is going to have to bring this up with Angel, and I don't think his reply is going to have anything to do with bygones.' His breath hitched as a thought struck him. 'When you say you made Angel human - '  
  
Cordy grinned. 'He still has his strength, all his vampire abilities, except he can't vamp. He doesn't need to drink blood anymore and sunlight, crosses and holy water aren't a problem. Decapitation and a steak thought the heart will still kill him, but that goes for everyone.' She looked at the three people in front of her, feeling their joy for Angel radiating from them. 'He still needs to be able to fight though, we learned that last time.'  
  
They visibly stiffened at her last comment 'What do you mean, last time?!'  
  
Oops! 'That's for Angel to tell you if he wants to. Anyway, we're getting off the subject. Who is going to talk to Angel about Wes? One of us has to.'  
  
'Or you could stand over there and discuss it til you're old and grey!' Angel called across the lobby from where he had been sitting, talking quietly to Connor. He smirked at the shocked expressions on three of theirs faces, Cordelia just looked mildly annoyed. She'd been paying to much attention to Faith, Fred and Gunn she'd tuned out Angel. 'Vampire hearing my friends. Anyway, it wouldn't matter which of you came to me, the answer would be the same. We don't need Wesley. He betrayed all of us. He stole my son and he didn't trust the rest of you. Besides, if we're going to the Hellmouth we'll have Giles, so we won't need Wes.  
  
Cordy walked over to Angel, to stand in front of him 'I know Giles will be there, and he's great, but we need Wes too. I don't know why yet, but we do. Angel - ' She paused, collecting her thoughts, and placing a reassuring hand on his forearm '- I understand your feelings of betrayal, we all do, but think of it from his point of view for a minute. Yeah, he should have trusted us, but he was caught in his own private hell. You would never have hurt baby Connor,' she squeezed his arm gently, 'but Angelus would have loved too! It's not really that far fetched Angel! He was trying to spare us the pain he was going through. Sah Jean had thousands of years to set this up. Wes is only human! Is it really that surprising that he fell for it?'  
  
Angel put his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him squarely. 'I hear what you're saying Cordelia, I do.but he stole my son. No matter how good his intentions were. I missed out on seeing his fist step, his first word, his first tooth.and I can never get those things back. How do I get passed that? How do I forgive that?'  
  
Cordy stared at him while he was talking, but she focused on the turmoil in Faith's head. Recognising it as an opportunity to get Angel to change his mind, she gave Faith a subconscious nudge. 'What about me then Angel?'  
  
'Huh?'  
  
Faith slowly walked towards him, her face carefully blank. 'What about me? I mean, I know that Wes did a terrible thing to you, but when you compare it to what I did to him, to what I did to so many people. You understand the darkness, fear, pain, trying your best but screwing up anyway. If you can't forgive Wesley, then what chance do I have?'  
  
Angel stared at Faith, then over towards Connor and back to Faith again. He took a deep breath, smiling slowly as he blew it out. Finally, he looked at Cordelia. 'Can you go get him?' She nodded, smiling. 'Good.' He paused. 'I'm not promising anything, not right away, but Faith's right. However twisted around he got, he was trying to do the right thing. I guess I'll have to remember that, and try and go from there.'  
  
Cordelia stepped back from Angel, and then smiled around at the group assembled in the hotel lobby. 'Back in a few' she said, before glowing brighter and then disappearing.  
  
Finally, Gunn broke the silence she left behind. 'That's gonna take some getting used to.'  
  
  
  
Probably just appearing in his room after not speaking to him for a few months, not the best idea. I think I'll knock. After checking there were no unsuspecting bystanders in the corridor outside Wesley's apartment, Cordelia glowed into being outside his door. Extending her senses into the apartment, she felt two beings. One of them was Wesley, although the darkness, pain and anger in him surprised her. It felt similar to the emotions Angel had been giving of before she had changed him. Although his underlying goodness was still there, it was becoming tainted somehow. She realised then that the reason the PTB needed Wes to rejoin the team was that if he didn't, he may well join the other side. Angel regaining his humanity and Connor returning to him, along with Faith joining the team could well be enough to tip him over the edge into darkness. She didn't know who the other person in the flat was, but the blackness of the soul, and the way that it was reaching out, trying to wrap itself around Wes was easy to see. The fact that the other person was also about to wrap itself around Wesley, and he was making no effort to stop her, made Cordy realise she needed to act right now. I'm not losing you Wesley. She knocked sharply on the door three times, and waited for it to be opened. Nothing happened. She knocked again. A voice called from inside 'Sod off! We're busy.'  
  
'Wesley? It's Cordelia. I need to speak to you.'  
  
'Why? You managed well enough up to now. Besides, I doubt very much that Angel would approve of you speaking with the enemy.'  
  
'You're not our enemy Wes. Now open this door or I'll come through it anyway.'  
  
'Hmm, she's feisty. Are you scared lover?' Cordelia heard a feminine voice drawl inside the flat 'Want me to have someone remove the problem?'  
  
Lilah. 'Wesley, open the door.'  
  
'Or what Cordelia? I don't think a few souped up cheerleading moves are going to be enough to get you through that door.' He then jumped back in amazement as the door nearly came off its hinges, such was the force of her kick. 'I stand corrected. Cordelia, what do you want?'  
  
The anger, the defiance, was easy to read on his face, as was Lilah's delight at the confrontation she thought she was about to witness. Deciding that getting rid of her was necessary if she was going to be able to have a proper conversation with Wesley, Cordelia turned first to Lilah 'I'm sorry, this conversation is for the good guys only' Her smile was full of saccharine insincerity. 'Being the super smart lawyer that you are, I'm sure you realise this doesn't include you.'  
  
Hello Cordelia. Hmm, isn't this Wesley's apartment? Because you know, I think that in his apartment, he gets to say who stays and who goes.'  
  
'Yeah, but you also think that making Angel lose his soul is a good idea, so, being good guys, we've decided not to listen to what you think.' With that, Cordelia grabbed Lilahs' arm and propelled her through the doorway to the flat. Then she straightened the door on its hinges, and slammed it in her face.  
  
Glancing around her self, not quite sure how she had gone from being inside the flat to outside it in such a short space of time, and also how the door, which had had a massive dent where Cordelia had kicked, but was now in perfect shape, had been fixed, Lilah pulled out her cell phone and called a number in the memory. 'This is Lilah Morgan. Put me through to Research and Development.' She waited while she was transferred, then 'Something's going on with Angel and his friends. I want a full check done on Cordelia Chase, and while you're at it, run all his other little friends. I want to know what's happening.' Without a goodbye, she snapped the phone off. With a final, curious glance at the door, she strode down the corridor and stabbed the call button for the lift, possibilities flying around in her head as to what was happening at Angel Investigations, and how she could turn it to her advantage.  
  
Back in the flat, Wes glared at Cordelia. 'Well, that's my mornings' entertainment out the.door. Are you planning on indulging me instead? Or did you come to offer me another litany of reasons why I deserve everything I get and I should be happy Angel hasn't killed me yet!'  
  
'Neither. Wes. What happened to you?'  
  
'I had my throat slit and my friends abandoned me.' Cordelia stared at him. She was disturbed by just how much anger and resentment Wes harboured for those who had been his colleagues, his family. She could see though, underscoring it and fuelling it all was a well of guilt and remorse so deep she feared it would drown him. Coddling people wasn't her way though.  
  
'Are you really that surprised?' She met his bitter gaze head on. 'Come on Wes, I know you. You thought through every possible out come before you did what you did. Did you really expect Angel to say "Hey, you did what you thought was best, never mind, let's go for a drink." You didn't trust us Wesley! After all we've been through. I know what it's like to fear Angelus, believe me, I was there for the full show, but even if you couldn't tell Angel, even if I wasn't there, what about Fred and Gunn! We were a family Wes, and you ripped that apart. I know you wanted to do what was best, but you stole his son Wes, his only son! The only chance at family he thought he was going to get, and now you're all pissed off because he didn't just get over it? You get over it! You fucked up Wesley. Now deal with it like a man instead of sulking in the darkness!  
  
'Sulking in the - It must be wonderful being the all knowing Cordelia Chase, because you never fucked up did you? You weren't the high Queen C bimbo bitch of Sunnydale High! Patron Saint of a thousand wet dreams and ten thousand murder fantasies. I was there, I forgave Angel just like you did, helped him come back after Darla. We didn't welcome him back with open arms, but we didn't turn him away either! All I have done since I joined you is help. I'm the one with the knowledge, the brain against the demons. You got a snog off some random half demon, and suddenly you're connected to the Powers. Fantastic! Self confessed 'Ditzy Bitch' is our connection to the powers. That made you grow up, didn't Cordelia. Well some of us had to grow up a lot sooner than that!!' Wes was pacing back and forth, screaming in Cordy's face and then turning away, to mutter to himself. Cordelia stayed quiet as the bile continued to spew out of him. 'Angel. Angel! With a name like that, and they called me the sissy boy. What is he? He's muscle and fangs and brooding mystery. It gets the girls wet but he's not much use without someone there to tell him what to do!! For years it was Buffy giving the orders, letting him wallow in his misery, then Doyle, then you! He's like a wind up toy. Set him, in the right direction and off he goes; "I'll kill the baddies and protect the innocent. Never fear, Angel is here!" That great, self indulgent wanker!!' Wes was facing Cordelia again. 'He was supposed to understand! I knew it would hurt him, but I had to protect the baby. How could none of you see that!!' His voice rose to somewhere between a scream and a sob, but when Cordelia went to him, he stepped away. She heard the click in his mind. 'You said thought.'  
  
Cordelia looked at him wearily, whilst he continued. 'You said "the only chance he thought he had at a family", past tense. What's going on Cordelia? Why are you here?'  
  
'I'm here for you Wes. I'm here because you're part of my family, and I love you, even if you did screw up in an unbelievable way. I'm here because things are changing, and you need to be part of it.' She stood, arms loosely by her sides, leaning on the desk in the hallway as she spoke. Her body language was open, non-threatening as she listened to the anger, then hope, the confusion screaming inside his head.  
  
'Does Angel know you're here?' His tone was derisive, he was expecting her to say no, that she'd come in secret.  
  
'Yes' He blinked, his only visible reaction to her answer. 'He told me to bring you back, that he doesn't think things will get back to normal straight away, but he wants to try.'  
  
It's a trick! Why would she trick me? I don't understand.Why would Angel change his mind now? 'Why?'  
  
Cordelia paused for a second, wondering how humans ever managed to get anything done when so much was left unsaid. 'As was recently pointed out to him, if Angel can't understand doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, and offering forgiveness because someone needs it, then we're all in trouble.' Wes simply raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. 'Things are changing. There's a battle coming, a big one. If we don't settle our own disputes before we go to meet it, it could be the last battle.'  
  
'It all becomes clear.' He drawled sardonically. 'Another nasty's on the way and you need me to read the rules to you-'  
  
'No.' Wes smirked at her, not believing her denial. 'We're hooking up with the Scoobies. If all we needed was a translator, we have Giles, no problem. We want you to come back Wes. You're part of us, and we want you to come home.'  
  
He looked uncertain. He'd lost much of his smug bravado when Cordy told him that Giles was going to be part of the fight. Any skills he had, Giles had too, and more besides. Giles had succeeded in his role as Watcher to the Slayer. Still, having lost so much, he wasn't quite ready to trust yet. 'Why now though?'  
  
Cordelia took a deep breath. He was being swayed back to the light side she knew, but he wasn't there yet. A lot depended on how he took the next few pieces of information she had for him. 'Things happen Wes. A lot of things have happened in the last 24 hours. Angel and Connor have reconciled.'  
  
'So that's why he's decided to forgive me, because a teenager has decided to get on with his father. Wonderful. I can expect to be doing the hokey kokey in and out of the group then, depending on Connors mood of the day. Thanks awfully but I'll stay put. So good of you to drop by.' He held out an arm to show her to the door, but she stayed put.  
  
'That's not all Wes. Connor knows the truth now, about Holtz and Angel, he understands. Holtz is dead and won't be able to cause any more trouble between them.' She paused there is just no way this is going to go down well. 'Faith's free.'  
  
He stared at her in stunned disbelief. 'She escaped!?'  
  
'No. She appealed and was released. The Watchers Council paid her legal fees. I guess they don't know Buffy's back. She really wants to atone Wes, to try and make up for what she did. She was the one who convinced Angel to forgive you.'  
  
'Oh fantastic. I've got a psychotic super woman who once tortured me going to bat against my vampiric ex boss for me. My life is complete. Good bye Cordelia.' Taking her arm, he started dragging her towards the door, at least, he tried. The arm he had been holding slid through his hand. For a second his brain didn't register what had happened, he tried to grab her again. This time he saw his hand pass through her, as if she was a ghost. Looking her over, he realised she was glowing. What the.?  
  
'I wasn't finished with my list of things that have happened'  
  
'Obviously.' He stared at her, trying to find an explanation for what he'd just seen. It didn't have to be logical, or even possible. After all the things he had seen, he understood that they weren't the limiting factors most people thought they were. The answer he was coming up with wasn't one he wanted to consider, but. 'You're dead?'  
  
'That's always the first reaction. You'd think I went round looking for trouble or something! Don't answer that. No Wesley. I'm not dead. The Powers That Be made me a Higher Being. I'm here to help the Warriors of the Light. That includes you.'  
  
He stared at her, completely shocked. Silence echoed in his head, such was his amazement at Cordelias announcement. Finally, he started to laugh. And laugh, and laugh. Doubled over, with tears of mirth creasing his cheeks, he clutched his mid section until he had himself under some sort of control. 'You can read my thoughts can't you? my intentions, my emotions. Bloody hell. It's all gone completely pear shaped, and Cordelia Chase comes up smelling of Roses.' He continued to stare at her, bemused.  
  
The battle he was fighting internally was incredible to watch, anger and resentment against pride and love. 'Come back to us Wes, please. None of us are perfect, but we always did our best for each other. Our family is changing, I think the world is changing, but we want you to be with us for it.' She held her arms out to him, knowing that if she could only touch him she could draw the pain away. But he knew that she could do that too. Of all of them, Wes understood more about what she could do as an HB than any of them, probably herself included, she thought wryly. It had to be his choice.  
  
'Even if I do come back with you, there's no guarantee that it'll work, that I'll stay. In fact, between myself, Angel and Faith you've got the ingredients for some rather impressive pyrotechnics.' He stayed where he was, just out of her reach, waiting for her reply.  
  
She continued to hold her arms out to him, glowing brighter all the time, giving off waves of peace and calm. 'There never are any guarantees Wesley. You know that.'  
  
'I know that.' And he stepped into her arms, letting himself cry for the first time since he had been separated from his friends.  
  
When he finally lifted his head, he felt calmer, more centred than he had in a long time. He retuned Cordelias' beautiful smile tentatively, as if it was something he hadn't done in a long time, and he was trying to remember how to do it properly. 'It's not going to be easy,' Cordy told him 'The anger you bare towards Faith is perfectly reasonable, but you have to deal with it. She's as much a part of the group as you are, and we can't defeat whatever is coming if we are fighting amongst ourselves. The same goes for you and Angel, although I think he'll get over it pretty quickly if we get a little help from Connor. Oh!'  
  
'What?'  
  
'One other thing that's happened in the last twenty four hours, which should help Angel get over it. He's human.'  
  
'WHAT? How?'  
  
'Me. I just kinda glowed and then there he was. Human but vampire strong.' Feeling his shock, she continued 'it was time Wes. Hell, it was time a long time ago. He deserved it.'  
  
'Wow. He must be really happy. I suppose when you're greatest wishes have been granted, and I'm assuming that being alive negates the true happiness clause, as well as reconciling with his son, he can afford to throw a little bon hommie to an ex friend who only ruined his life for him.' The bitterness was tangible in his words and his stance.  
  
'Hey, Angel worked damn hard, and suffered a lot to get where he is, suffered a lot more than you have Mister. He deserves a little happiness, and he's going to continue to fight.' She paused, took his hand. 'You've come a long way from the one who screamed like a woman' he growled at her, but didn't try to pull free of her hand, which she took as a good sign 'don't lose it now. Be happy for Angel, and try and find your own happiness. Hate only breeds hate Wes, you know that.'  
  
'You're right. But God Cordelia, I'm. scared. I'm scared that he won't forgive me, that I won't get a chance, but I'm even more bloody scared that he will give me a chance, and I'll screw it up, and I'll lose you all over again, because I don't think I could bear that.'  
  
'I know Wes, but the only way you will lose us all, and for good, is not to come with me now. We have to get back to the hotel so you guys can start to sort things out, then we all have to go to Sunnydale, to begin preparations for whatever it is that's coming. The biggest of big bads.'  
  
'Oh God. I'll handle the Hyperion, seeing Angel and even Faith, but I'm not sure I can deal with the all powerful Scooby Gang right now. I think Buffy's scorn and Xander's derision might just tip me over the edge into full fledged insanity.'  
  
Cordelia smiled minutely. 'I wouldn't worry about it Wes.' She mused 'I always thought I was the only one who thought of us as the Scooby rejects. Ya'know, we couldn't make it in Sunnydale, so we came here instead. Well, it turns out the Scoobies aren't in perfect shape either, and compared to what Willow's been up to for the last few days, you, Faith and even Angelus were kids at a tea party. She tried to end the world, and nearly succeeded, so I wouldn't be too intimidated by them. They're human too, it turns out. But we're all going to need to work together on this, so I guess it's time we all got over high school. Are you ready to go?'  
  
He stared at her, still trying to get his head around this last bombshell. 'Sure, just let me lock up, and I'll be ready, I assume you'll be handling the transportation?'  
  
'You assume right' She smiled while she watched him grab his jacket and check the locks, put a couple of pots in the sink and generally do a quick run round to get the place in order. Finally, when he could think of no other means of prevarication short of starting a full spring clean, he walked over to her, pulling his jacket on as he came. He straightened in front of her, seeming to brace himself, then held out his hand to her. 'Ready now?' she asked. He nodded stiffly in reply. Realising he was too nervous to speak, she took his proffered hand, and transported the two of them to the Hyperion lobby.  
  
  
  
Inside the Hyperion, Fred and Gunn were in the office with Faith, showing her some of their old case files, to give her a feel of what she might be facing. Connor and Angel were still in the lobby, trying to reach a deeper level of understanding. As they were both terrified of saying the wrong thing and offending the other, it was slow going. Having circled, squared and triangled around the point he wanted to make, Connor finally got to the heart of the issue. 'Although I know that you love me, and that you aren't the monster Holtz taught me about, I had those lessons drummed into me for as long as I can remember. I can't just scrape them out of my head and.' He stared at Angel, not sure how to continue.  
  
Angel smiled, nodding. 'Even when you know it's wrong, habits can be hard to break. I understand that. Connor, you're my son, and I love you, but it's going to take time for us to build a relationship. We need to give each other time and space, and talk and listen to each other.sound like a plan?' He gave Connor a smile he hoped was reassuring, and not as scared or patronizing as he felt. Before Connor could answer, the air started to glow, and quickly reformed into Cordelia, and Wesley.  
  
'We're back' Cordelia singsonged, a la Poltergeist.  
  
'No kidding.' Gunn spoke from the doorway to the office. 'Wes.'  
  
'Gunn.' He took a breath before turning to face Angel. 'Angel. I-'  
  
'Wesley.' Connor's interruption surprised everyone. He was nervous, Cordelia could sense he was afraid he might upset his father with what he was about to say, but he felt it necessary. He walked over to Wesley, standing next to him so they were both facing his father. 'I want to thank you, for what you did for me.for what you sacrificed for me. You didn't know then that Sah jean had set it all up, and you were willing to risk everything, your friends, your family, to save my life. I know what it's like to lose your family so thank you.' He held out his hand to Wes.  
  
Wes stared at him, unable to speak around the lump in his throat. Finally, he took Connors hand and pulled him towards him, hugging him tight for a second before stepping back. 'Thank you' he rasped.  
  
Angel watched in silence, unsure of his feelings. Finally, one thought surfaced What wouldn't I do to keep Connor safe? Nothing. Getting slowly to his feet, Angel was aware of every eye in the room on him. 'You did the wrong thing.but for the right reasons. I can understand that. You didn't trust us though, and so you broke our trust in you. That's going to take time and effort to earn back. You up for that?' His expression was unsmiling, challenging. He wasn't ready to welcome Wes back to the fold with open arms, but, after what Faith and Connor had said, he was willing to open the door.  
  
Wes nodded, just as sombre. Better than being smothered by a pillow. 'Yes, I'm ready for that.'  
  
Turning slightly he saw Faith hovering in the doorway behind Gunn. 'Faith, so good to see you again. I believe we were up to cold?' She winced visibly, and Cordelia elbowed him in the side, hard. He looked down, took a breath and then looked up again, trying to meet her gaze but finding it impossible as she was staring fixedly at the floor. 'Faith.' He walked towards her. 'I won't say I'm sorry for that, because I'm not. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive you for what did.but Cordelia tells me that you really are sorry, that you want to make amends for what you did. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that, so I only say this. Good luck, and I'll be watching you. Step wrong, even once, and I'll see it, and I'll stop you, because I've changed too Faith. I wasn't capable of stopping you before, I am now. Do you believe me?'  
  
Still looking at her feet, she mumbled 'Yeah' Slowly, she brought her head up, and met his eyes. 'Yes. I believe you.' They stood facing each other, eyes locked until Faith finally lowered her gaze, back to the floor.  
  
'Good.' Cordelia clapped her hands once, making everybody jump. 'Now that that's over, do you think you guys could try and coexist peacefully for the next twenty four hours, because that's how long you've got 'til we're off to hell central.'  
  
They all glanced around the room, some peacefully, some uneasily, some hopefully. Cordelia rolled her eyes. 'You don't have to stay together! Get some sleep, some food, - go and get some sun, because now that you're not dead Angel, you really need to stop looking the part. Do whatever you want, but keep the peace, and be back here and ready to travel tomorrow morning. You guys have more bridge building and fence mending to do, and you know how I feel about manual labour!' With that she disappeared, leaving the fang gang staring at space and wondering how to occupy themselves until the next day, and what they would find when the next day came.  
  
TBC 


	7. Part 7 Buffy

A.N As usual, thanks for the reviews, and sorry this took so long.  
  
I had to make a slight amendment to the very end of the last chapter, which needs to be read for this to make sense. It was one of those really obvious things which didn't occur to me til just after I had posted that chapter.  
  
Read and enjoy, and please, please, please review if you get a minute.  
  
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She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Thoughts chased erratically through her head; what had been what was to come, what to have for breakfast. The Slayer resisted the urge to pull a pillow over her face and head on back to heaven. Bad Buffy! Not supposed to think like that anymore she scolded herself mentally. That thought made her sit up with a jolt. I didn't mean it! I thought it in the same way Mom used to say "Let's head for Vegas!" A nice idea in theory, but never gonna happen. Wow. Guess I really am back in the world of the living.  
  
I still don't want to get up and face today.  
  
She dragged herself out of bed and into the shower, letting the powerful jets of water pummel her into wakefulness. Her mind focused and settled, running over the events of the past few days and nights. Willow. Willow was a killer now, and no matter what she did, not matter how much good she had done in the past or in the future, that knowledge would always be with her. Buffy knew what that felt like. True, the only human she had actually killed was that order of Teraka guy, whilst she was fighting for her life, and he had been more monster than man anyway. but she had thought she had killed before, other than in a kill or die situation. Sorry fella. You sign up with the order of Teraka, I ain't gonna feel guilty about you. First with Ted and just recently with Katrina though. she would always remember the feeling, that greasy ball of guilt in your stomach. It flavoured everything you ate, you saw, you thought. Willow was going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.  
  
Too difficult. Moving on. Dawn. Jesus. Dawn's a Slayer now. How come none of us saw that one coming?  
  
After Cordelia left them all in the Magick Box the day before, they had separated. Willow had gone home with Xander, she wasn't ready to be in the room Tara had died. She didn't know if she ever would be. Buffy and Dawn took Giles home, Willow staying with Xander at least meant he could have a bed this time rather than the sofa. Anya disappeared back to where ever she had been staying since she had turned back into a vengeance demon.  
  
Once they got home, a journey made in silence because all three of them were mentally exhausted, and not too far behind physically, Buffy, Dawn and Giles crawled into there respective beds without managing to shower or even take their clothes off. Buffy wasn't at all surprised to wake up four hours later, completely refreshed. Four hours sleep for a Slayer was like sleeping round the clock for most people. She was rather surprised however, to find Dawns legs and lower body in the kitchen. Her head and upper body were lost somewhere in the depths of the fridge. 'Couldn't sleep huh?'  
  
'Geez Buffy! Don't sneak up on me like that.'  
  
'Sorry.' She grinned at her sister, unrepentant. 'So.How ya' feeling? Break anything yet?'  
  
'What do you mean? I don't often break things do I?'  
  
'When I first got my super strength, I was always breaking crockery and stuff cause I couldn't put things down gently enough.' She explained.  
  
'Oh, that.well, the kitchen wear is fine, but I've been having a little problem with doors.'  
  
'Don't sweat it Dawnie. That's why Xander is a carpenter. Seriously, how are you feeling?'  
  
'I feel great. Honestly' she added at Buffy's sceptical look. 'When we got back from the Magick shop, I thought I was gonna sleep for a week, but now I feel wide awake. I'm really revved Buffy, its crazy.'  
  
'Welcome to the life of a Slayer. Only needing three hours sleep a night is one of the few perks.' She hugged her sister, hard, harder than she ever had before. For a second Dawn gasped, her breath squeezed out of her, then she started to hug her sister back, as hard as she could.  
  
Eventually, they stepped back, but kept their hands linked, a solid bond between them 'What now?' Dawn finally asked.  
  
'A question with so many levels' Buffy muttered ruefully. 'Right now, we eat. After an all-nighter, once I've grabbed a few hours sleep, all I wanna do is eat, you know, stock up on carbs. and stuff so.pizza?'  
  
'Yay. Eating as much pizza as you want and not worrying about burning it off is another plus point of being a Slayer ya'know.' She took a breath, staring hard at the wall behind Buffy's head, as if she was hoping a script for what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation would suddenly appear on it. 'So.after food, what now? With me, with Willow.Cordelia said she was going to bring Angel back, and Spike's gone and.' With each new topic to worry about, Dawns' speech got faster and more high pitched until she had to stop because she couldn't go any faster or higher.  
  
'I don't know Dawnie. Hence the food. Food's for thought, right? Something like that anyway.' She sighed, dragged a hand through her hair. Gotta face it sooner or later... 'Okay, well. with you, at least I kind of know what I'm doing now. We train, we research, if you look like you're going nuts we don't let anyone try and take you to England.' She offered a feeble grin 'seriously, I'm not really worried about you. After the way you handled yourself today.yesterday.last night.whenever that was. anyway, yeah, well, I mean, it's tough, and believe me, Giles doesn't go easy with the training and everything, but I figure you know what to expect, and I'm here to help you and stuff. To be honest Dawnie, you really are the least of my worries.' She trailed of, lost in thought again. She just couldn't get passed what Willow had done, what she had become. Carpei Diem. Never again. The memories rushed in on her of the sweet, shy girl who said that to her, as they sat on the benches outside their high school. Even then, they had seen too much. They thought they knew it all back then, they thought they had seen things as bad as they could get. Guess you just never know.  
  
'Buffy?' a hand waved in front of her face. 'Hey, Buffy, where'd you go?' She started, leant back. 'Sorry, just thinking about.about Willow. Geez Dawn. As close as I am to having a clue with you, with her I'm that close to not having one.' She started to pace the kitchen. 'How do I help her, how do I even begin to understand what she's feeling? She killed, in rage, with magick. That's going to be with her every moment for the rest of her life. How can I help her decide how to act in the future, how to use her magick properly? Besides the fact that I don't understand magick, I'm hardly the poster child for grace under pressure. She hasn't even dealt with the fact that Tara's gone. What do I do when she has to face that? When Angel left me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember I told Willow, I was just trying to keep from dieing. On top of everything else, how do I help her with that!?' She stared at her sister, desperate for inspiration, then looked down and their joined hands. 'And then we have Angel, and that's a whole other kettle of I don't even want to think about it.'  
  
Dawn eyed her sister speculatively. 'You know, you've never really talked to me about Angel. Even when you were together - '  
  
'Dawn, look - '  
  
'No, Buffy, it's okay. I'm not criticising you, I mean, I wasn't really here when the two of you were together, and none of us understood your relationship, so I doubt a bunch of monks could of, and explained it to me. All I'm saying is, maybe it would help you to talk about it now. I know you're not huge on the sharing, but if that whole thing with Sweets taught us anything, it's that we have to talk to each other.' She grabbed a half eaten, cold pizza out of the fridge, and then led her sister through to the sitting room, where they both sat down on the sofa. She left the box, unopened, on the table in front of them, and then faced her sister.  
  
'Buffy, I'm not going to tell you I understand your relationships, I can only give you my take on it all, and I have a feeling I missed a whole bunch, but talk to me, please. You don't have to protect me anymore. You can't protect me anymore.'  
  
Buffy stared at her sister, confusion, anguish, anger, all swirling through her mind. 'Oh Dawnie, the reason I don't talk about it is because most of the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing!' She sat back on the sofa, running a hand over her hair. 'My whole life - '  
  
'Whoa Buffy, let's take this one issue at a time. Angel, well the men in your life. Let's start with them.'  
  
She nodded at her little sister, and then looked away, picking up a cushion from the seat next to her and started worrying the corner of it. 'Okay, well.God. You don't pick the easy ones, do you? The men in my life. Since I got back, you know. well anyway, I've done a lot of thinking. At first, I didn't want to remember what it was like, in heaven, but later, I started thinking about it more. You know stuff when you're up there, about others and intentions and stuff. I don't remember much of it, but I'm working on getting it back. Angel is the love of my life. I tried to convince myself he wasn't, that he was my first love, and he would always be special, but there would be someone else someday who could make me feel the way he did, but I was fooling myself. For a while, I got so hung up on normal that I couldn't see normal was making me, and a good man, miserable. He really was y'know, good I mean. Reilly might have been dull, and pompous, and kinda gullible, but he has a good heart. I'm glad he was able to find someone to love him the way I couldn't.' She stared at the cushion in her hands, realising that she was in danger of pulling it to bits, and leaving stuffing all over the floor. Deliberately, she put it aside and looked over at her sister.  
  
'I think I knew that, I mean, even Xander knew that what you felt for Reilly just didn't compare to what you had with Angel.' She smiled guiltily, 'I remember telling Reilly once that he was so much better for you than Angel, that with him you were always pretty level, but with Angel you could never tell if you were going to be crying your eyes out or over the moon. I really did mean it as a compliment.'  
  
They shared a moment of understanding. 'I understand wanting to be normal, believe me I do.' Dawn took a breath before continuing so many ways that this could come out wrong. 'And I think I get all the stuff with Reilly, but.'  
  
'But what happened with Spike?' Buffy finished for her. Dawn nodded, relieved her sister had understood what she wanted to ask, but having no clue what the answer might be. 'I know he didn't have a soul, but he loved you Buffy, he really did. Xander said he. tried to attack you, but he loved you, and he made you smile when none of us could.' She ran out of words.  
  
Buffy picked up the cushion again, realised what she was doing and put it back. Then she smoothed down her hair, twitched the comforter back into place on the back of the sofa and searched for lint on her top before she could bring herself to answer her sisters' question. 'Spike.Dawn, Spike was like a drug for me. When I first got back, everything was so hard. I couldn't feel anything, no happiness, no sadness, pain, excitement, nothing. Everything was just.grey. Except with Spike. He made me feel. At first it was because he wasn't involved in bringing me back. I hadn't even realised it myself, but I was punishing everyone, for bringing me back, by pulling away. Spike wasn't part of that. He didn't keep asking if I was okay, I didn't have to put on an act for him. I could just be. And by just being, I started to feel, a little. I was physically attracted to him, and he understood me, in a way Reilly never could have.' She gave a half laugh. 'The first time we had sex, we knocked the building down. That's what it was like between us. No tenderness, we weren't making love, we were making war. And he made me feel. He made me feel disgust, he made me hate myself, because in the end the only thing making him any different from those things I kill every night, was that chip in his head. He wouldn't have loved me without it, he wouldn't have saved you without it. I know he loved me Dawn, But he's still a monster. I guess I'd turned him into some kind of harmless pet in my head. Every time I was with him, I hated myself a little bit more, but even hating myself was better than feeling nothing, so I kept going back. I couldn't stop myself from going back. It wasn't until Reilly found us together, and showed me what Spike was doing, dealing in demon eggs on the black market, that I realised he's not some harmless puppy. He's still a creature of evil Dawnie, even though he loves me, and he'd die for you, he's evil. I realised that being with him was insulating me from facing life, and dealing with my problems. I had to end.whatever it was between us, because in the end it would have destroyed us both.' She fell silent, unsure of what to say next.  
  
The silence stretched between them, until eventually Dawn broke it. 'So, back to Angel.'  
  
'Back to Angel. I just don't know Dawnie. I know he's changed a lot since he moved away, we both have. I haven't spoken to him in months, not since just after I got back, and I think we were both kind of in shock then. I know I love him, but communicating was never our strong point. Even if we do manage to talk it out, if he does still love me, the curse is still there Dawnie! We couldn't get round it last time, why should things be any different just because a few years have passed!' Her voice was close to a sob as she finished. She turned away from Dawn, covering her face with her hands and taking deep breaths so try and clam herself.  
  
She felt Dawns' hand on her shoulder, but couldn't bring herself to look up. 'Things have changed since he left Buffy. I think somewhere between Willow being the most powerful Wicca on earth, and Cordelia being a Higher Being, they'll be able to fix the curse. All you have to concentrate on is working out what you're going to say to him when he arrives. And be honest with him!!!'  
  
Buffy raised her head, offered Dawn a watery smile. 'Couldn't we find another apocalypse instead? I know what to do with them.'  
  
Dawn grinned at her sister, then pulled her in for another bone crunching hug. 'Let's eat this pizza, then we can figure out what to do until everyone else wakes up. Since Cordelia cleaned up the Magick Box, it looks like we've got a free day to ourselves.'  
  
This time Buffy grinned, a dastardly deed forming in her mind. 'Oh I know what we can do. Seeing as the shop is already cleaned up, we can get a start on your training. How do you fancy some light sparing, with Slayer strength that is?'  
  
Dawn gulped. 'This is gonna hurt, isn't it?'  
  
'Probably.' Buffy singsonged, 'but don't worry, you'll heal really quickly.'  
  
Together, the two sisters ate the rest of the cold pizza, then cleaned up, grabbed some work out clothes, and headed out.  
  
  
  
At seven that evening, Giles stirred in his bed. He didn't think he had ever been as exhausted as he had been when he had fallen into bed that morning, but know he was awake, and quite peckish. Between jet lag, getting the crap kicked out of him by Willow and being healed by Cordelia, his body clock was completely knackered. Deciding that there was no point in staying in bad any longer, as he wasn't sleepy and he wasn't injured, he rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After a shower, a shave and a change of clothes, he felt remarkably good, especially considering how close to death he had been. He wondered downstairs, intent on finding himself something to eat. He'd stashed a jar of Marmite on top of one of the kitchen cupboards last time he stayed here, well out of Buffy's and Dawn's reach. The likelihood of either of them dusting up there was slim to none, so he was looking forwards to a nice cup of tea and some Marmite on toast. After that, he would have to put his brain in gear and start pondering the ramifications of the last few days. Marmite first. I always think better after I've had something to eat and a nice cup of tea.  
  
As he puttered about the kitchen, fixing his snack and clearing up the odds and ends that had been left lying about, he enjoyed the silence, wondering what Buffy was up to. Knowing how little sleep she needed, he thought she must have been up for hours. Dawn too, I suppose. I never gave any thought to the possibility of her being a Slayer too. I suppose it partially stems from the monks doing there work so well. When we didn't know what she was, there was no way she could have been called, siblings never are. After we found out, well, there was just so much going on. Should have seen that one coming old man. He heard the front door opening, and the noise of Buffy and Dawns' chatter spilled into the house ahead of them. Carrying his plate in one hand and cup of tea in the other, he went to meet them.  
  
'Hello. Where have you two been?' Dawn staggered passed him and flung herself onto the sofa.  
  
'I quit. I don't mind the slaying bit, but I quit training with Buffy.' She gave Giles a puppy dog look. 'Can't you train me Giles, please? Because if I have many more sessions like that, I'm going to be the shortest lived Slayer ever! Dead from exhaustion!'  
  
Giles grinned at Dawns' antics. The younger Summers seemed to be taking the news of her Slayerness very well. With Buffy's' example to follow, she would be fine. 'Much as I'd love to train you Dawn, I don't think it would be the wisest course of action. You have an opportunity no other Slayer has ever had, to be trained by someone who has actually lived the life, not just read about it in books. Besides,' his grin turned mischievous, 'I really don't think I could survive the early days of Slayer training again. Some of my worst nightmares revolve around the first time I gave Buffy a quarter staff!'  
  
'Hey! Oh. I can't really argue with you on that one, can I?' Buffy's expression went from indignant to fakely contrite. When she thought back of all the times she had accidentally, and accidentally, punched, kicked, flipped, dropped and generally beaten Giles up, particularly in the early years, it was actually quite surprising he wasn't running for the hills at the thought of a new Slayer to train.  
  
'I think I'll take a more executive role this time.' He smirked at the girls. 'I'll do the theory, the research etc. I might even see if I can dig out Buffy's' copy of the handbook. It's not like she ever used it! Anyway, I'll come up with a training schedule, and Buffy can be the one you practise beating up. She heals quicker than I do anyway.'  
  
'Gee thanks Giles' Buffy growled at him playfully. 'Just what I needed, another complication in my life.'  
  
At the mention of the word complication they all sobered. 'Sooo' said Dawn 'are we any closer to having a plan yet?' She looked to Giles and Buffy, waiting expectantly. For her whole life, whenever it came to the crunch, these two came up with a plan. She didn't see why it should be any different now.  
  
Giles and Buffy shared a look. They knew Dawn was expecting then to come up with an answer. She didn't realise it yet, but pretty soon Dawn was going to have to start coming up with plans too. Taking the lead, Giles moved the conversation out of the hall and into the living room. 'Dawn, until we know what we're facing, there is no way we can start to plan.anything about it, whatever it is.' He took a breath. 'One thing we do need to plan though, and as soon as possible, is Tara's funeral.' If he had looked up, he would have seen Buffy and Dawn's heads both bowed, they're eyes shining with tears. As it was, he was too busy trying to blink back his own tears whilst staring at the table to notice. 'We have to notify her family, although I doubt they'll want anything to do with it. She told me that since she refused to go back with them last year, every attempt she's made at contacting them has gone unanswered. I also think that we should ask Willow what kind of ceremony we should give her.' He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes, then continued to fiddle with the frame instead of replacing them. 'I know that Wicca has its own rules on how to deal with its dead, although I don't know much about the actual rites.'  
  
Dawn sniffed and wiped her own tears with her right hand, her left gripping Buffy's tightly. 'Willow's going to be okay though, right? I mean.' she looked searchingly, beseechingly at Buffy and Giles. 'I mean, I know it's gonna be super hard for her, and she's going to have to fight like crazy, but we're all going to help her and support her, and eventually she's going to get back to being like she used to be, right?'  
  
Giles took Dawns other hand in both of his, offering what comfort he could. 'Dawn, sometimes, no matter how hard you want things to, no matter how much you wish, things can never go back to the way they were. Even when they look the same way they used too, under the surface, its different now.'  
  
'But - '  
  
'Dawnie,' Buffy squeezed her other hand. 'No matter how much you want to, you can never go back. No matter how hard we wish, we can't turn back time, erase a day.' Buffy felt a twinge in the back of her mind, a ghost of déjà vu. She realised it was one of the forgotten memories of when she had been.not here.but she pushed it away. Don't have time to deal with that right now. She focused her attention on her sister. 'Willow's going to need all of us, just to get through the next few days, the funeral and contacting Taras' family. After that, she's going to have to start dealing with what she did, and what she's become.' Seeing the look on Dawn's face, Buffy hurried to explain. 'A magickal being and a warrior for the light. She has to start on her redemption. At least we've got an expert on that coming to visit.' Letting go of her sisters' hand after one final squeeze, Buffy scrubbed both her hands over her face, then up and into her hair. She didn't want to sit still any more. 'Come on Dawnie.' She jumped to her feet. 'Enough of this.' she waved a hand around the sitting room. 'How 'bout you and me get ready and go looking for trouble?' seeing the excitement on her sisters' face, she felt a need to add, 'and by that I do mean patrolling.'  
  
Dawn leapt up to, grinning. 'Yay! Just let me go change and then we can go! You and me! Patrolling! Together! And you actually asked me to come! This is so cool!' With another excited yip she powered out of the room and up the stairs, leaving Giles and Buffy staring in her wake.  
  
Giles sniffed resignedly. 'The novelty will wear off soon I'm sure.'  
  
Buffy nodded ruefully. 'Oh yeah. Get tossed on a few grave stones, kicked in the head and your brand new outfit ruined all in one night, and the novelty is long gone!' She smiled at her watcher. Physically she was fine, but emotionally she was still tired. 'Giles - '  
  
'There's nothing you can do tonight. Take Dawn out, although I suspect that most of the demons and vampires are still hiding after last night. It should be an easy first patrol for her.' He hugged her close, a comforting, paternal gesture. 'Tomorrow will come soon enough. We'll meet at the Magick Box in the morning, and maybe Cordelia will have some news on whatever it is that's coming.' He kissed her forehead. 'Go and enjoy some time with your sister.' He guided her over to the weapons chest, so that she could choose suitable accessories for the night ahead, and then bade them both good night. 'And come in quietly! Most people need more sleep than you two!' he called as he closed the door.  
  
Wondering up to the room he was staying in, at least for the next few nights, he put the Rolling Stones on the CD player, grabbed a glass from the bathroom, and reached in his bag for his duty free. On the flight over, he'd been worried sick about what he would find on his arrival, and hadn't touched it. Now, a glass or three of Isle of Jura, his favourite single malt, seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. Lying back on the bed, he allowed the music to wash over him, emptying his mind of everything. Plenty of time to worry when there's actually something I can do about it. He took another sip of his whiskey, and shut his eyes.  
  
  
  
Across town, Xander stared into his darkened bedroom, looking for any signs of wakefulness from the hump buried under the covers. She hadn't spoken a word on the trip back to his apartment. Once they'd arrived, she just sat in the car, showing no signs of getting out of it. Eventually he had gone around and opened her door, startling her as he put his hand on his arm. He could see the pain, the grief, the fear, all trying to hide under the blankness in her eyes. Saying nothing, he'd carried her up to the apartment and then sat with her on his knee, rocking her through her sobs and into silence. Eventually, she had gotten off his lap, which was by then completely numb, and gave him a tearful smile of gratitude. It was the same smile she had given him in kindergarten when he had told Cordelia to leave her alone and stop teasing her, accept the sadness behind the smile was depthless now, unfathomable to him.  
  
'I'm gonna try and get some sleep, okay?' She drifted towards the couch.  
  
'Will, wait.' She stopped, looked back. 'You need to eat something first.' When she looked like she was going to refuse, he gave her his most pathetic puppy dog look. 'Please Will? Just for me? I'll let you have the bedroom and everything.'  
  
She sighed. 'Sure.'  
  
She ate what he had put in front of her, although Xander suspected if he'd put the waxed fruit bowl in front of her she'd have eaten it and not commented. She even washed up, and then she had kissed his cheek, and gone to bed. Xander grabbed a blanket and took the couch. Having slept for eight hours he had woken himself up by falling off the couch, and realised he'd better check on Willow. Apart from the slight movement of her body which showed she was still breathing, she slept like the dead. At least she's not having nightmares. Although he knew from experience, eventually they would come. Not now though.  
  
Moving into his kitchen, he threw together a snack and considered phoning Buffy. Nah. We'll see her tomorrow, and I don't want to wake Dawn or Giles.that should probably be just Giles. He sighed. Little Dawnie's a Slayer. At least she's got a good role model. Hope she doesn't remember too many of Faiths' tricks. His mind wondered to some of Faiths' tricks, ones only he had seen. Bad Xander! You'd think with my track record I'd have learned to steer clear of women by now!  
  
He considered his options for the evening. It wasn't that late, he could head over to the bronze, but he didn't want to leave Willow alone. He could run over to the video store.or just watch T.V.Or he could to back to sleep. Dead boy, Wesley and Cordelia were all coming in tomorrow. He wanted to be rested. It was going to be an interesting day.  
  
  
  
The next morning, Buffy was racing round the house, trying to decide what to wear. A phone call to Xander had decided they would meet at the Magick Box at 10.00am. Figuring that Cordelia probably knew where and when to find them, this meant that in just over an hour she was going to see Angel again. She was going to have to come up with some options for Willow. She was going to have to deal with another apocalypse prophesy. The last one was by far the least of her worries. And top of the list right now is that I've already been up for two hours and I still haven't got any idea what to wear! Mindlessly rifling through her wardrobe, she though about last nights patrol. It had gone well. They'd only found two vamps, and Dawn had staked both of them, although Buffy had been holding one of them down at the time. Still, for the most part Buffy had stayed in the background, and Dawn had acquitted herself nobly. Now there's a Giles phrase for you. With some desperation she dragged on a pair of jeans, and then just as quickly dragged them off. Don't want to look too casual! She raced into Dawns room. 'Have you seen my black fitted shirt?'  
  
Dawn stared at her. 'The one we buried you in?'  
  
'Oh. Forgot. Never mind.' She ran out again.  
  
Dawn climbed off her bed and wondered into her sisters' room. She'd been up for hours too, but in that time had managed to get showered and dressed, eat breakfast and fill almost fifteen pages of her diary with recent events. As far as she could tell Buffy had managed a thirty second phone call to Xander and to change her clothes about a hundred times. Most of her wardrobe now seemed to be on her bedroom floor. Buffy stood in the middle of the chaos in her underwear and jewellery. That was the only thing she hadn't changed once. The cross that Angel had given her when they first met, and on the chain with it, her claddagh ring. Dawn wasn't sure what the story was with the ring, Buffy had never told her, but she figured it was a big deal. On more than one occasion, especially in the days of Angelus, Dawn had seen her crying over it.  
  
Carefully making her way around the mounds of clothes on the floor, Dawn picked up a new, crinkle cut, burgundy, button down shirt, and some grey pants. 'Here. These look good on you.' Buffy smiled gratefully. The decision had been made. At that point Buffy felt she was incapable of telling whether she was looking great or should put a bag over her head.  
  
'Thanks Dawnie.'  
  
'You're welcome. Now let's get some breakfast, and don't tell me you're not hungry you lady, or there'll be no cookies for you later!' Dawn spoke mock sternly to her sister, wagging her finger as she spoke. Buffy laughed and followed her sister downstairs.  
  
In the kitchen they found Giles, just finishing his second cup of tea and his marmite on toast. 'Morning.' He greeted both girls, and then went back to his newspaper. 'I know we've all seen it before, but the people of this town really do amaze me. Look at this.' He gestured with his toast at the article he was reading. 'Talks about surface earthquakes with no detectable epicentre. They've even got alleged "experts" talking about "a new seismic geological phenomenon." I think these people carry shovels with them everywhere they go so they can bury they're heads in the sand more efficiently!' He crunched his toast disgustedly before continuing 'and the police are a minor miracle. "The building just seemed to fall down. No explanation could be give." Bloody hell.' He crunched his toast again, and then mumbled something about blind, arrogant and wilfully ignorant. Then he stopped talking because Buffy and Dawn were sending him dirty looks for spraying toast crumbs everywhere.  
  
Grabbing juice and cereal each, the girls joined Giles at the breakfast bar, where the three of them ate in silence, contemplating the day ahead. Eventually, Dawn broke the silence. 'So, what do you think's gonna happen today? Do you think Cordelia's gonna like, take us all somewhere new to fight this big bad? Or maybe she'll bring it to us. Maybe it's someone Angel is fighting in L.A and he needs help with it. Or maybe - '  
  
'Dawn! We don't know.' She smiled to soften the hard edge of her tone, and hoped Dawn wouldn't get in a snit about it. She really didn't feel like handling Dawn having a tantrum right now.  
  
Surprisingly, Dawn smiled apologetically. 'Sorry. I guess I'm just kind of nervous, but also excited, y'know, and then I feel bad, cos of Willow, but then - '  
  
'Dawn.' This time it was Giles who interrupted her. 'We understand. We're all a bit keyed up at the moment. Why don't you two finish getting ready, and we can head to the magick shop a little early.'  
  
Nodding her agreement, Dawn got to her feet, then, seeing the look on Buffy's face, she shot out her hand and grabbed Buffy's' arm. 'No. You are not changing your clothes again!' When Buffy looked like she was about to argue, Dawn put on her strict mum voice again. 'I want you to go upstairs, brush your teeth and finish your make up and be back down here in fifteen minutes young lady.' She resumed her own voice. 'You start messing with your outfit again, we won't be ready to leave this time tomorrow!'  
  
  
  
In Xanders apartment, Willow was stuck with a similar dilemma, except it wasn't her own clothes she had to choose from, it was Anyas. 'It's not that I'm not really glad I've got something to wear, especially after I burned what I was wearing before, but come on Xander, most of this stuff, it just.it isn't me, y'know.' She held up a particularly small tank top, and winced.  
  
Xander smiled reassuringly. He actually thought that, after everything that had happened, what she wore really didn't matter, but he had been around women long enough to know that a man should never voice an opinion on the matter of what a woman was, could or might wear. 'Never fear Will, I have an idea. Why don't you see if you can find some pants or jeans in there that fit you, and you can wear one of my shirts over it?'  
  
She smiled gratefully. 'I know it doesn't really matter, but obsessing over this stops me worrying about all the things I've done, and what's gonna happen.'  
  
'I know Will.' He hugged her to his chest. 'No matter what, you're my best friend. You'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you.' He held her by the shoulders so he could look in her eyes. 'Now come on. Get some clothes on cause we are moving out!'  
  
As it turned out, Buffy took a few minutes more to finish getting ready than expected, so the two groups arrived at the magick shop at the same time. Seeing the apprehension on Willow's face, Dawn and Buffy both shot out of the car and over to her with Slayer speed. Grabbing their friend between them, they hugged her. Unfortunately, Dawn hadn't quite got the hang of her Slayer strength, and Willow started to choke, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. Giles came over and gently squeezed her shoulder, before herding them all inside. They all felt a need to reaffirm the Scooby gangs solidarity before they faced everything ahead of them.  
  
Anya was already waiting for them inside. She shot Xander a dirty look for giving Willow her clothes, but before she could say anything, the air started to glow and coalesce in the middle of the store.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Buffy murmured 'ready or not, here they come.'  
  
TBC 


	8. Meeting

A.N I know I say this at the start of every chapter, but, as always, SORRY IT'S TAKEN SO LONG. The good news is, this is the final chapter of this story. The bad news is there are 3 more stories to come, but hopefully they won't be this long. Unfortunately RL is insanely busy at the moment, and shows no signs of letting up any time soon, so although I WILL finish the whole bastard thing at some point, it is going to take some time. Please keep faith with me and I promise not to let you down.  
  
*Warning* Some major B/A mushiness. If you're not a B/Aer.tough. You've been warned. Enjoy the fic.  
  
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Angel jogged lightly down the stairs of the Hyperion hotel, heading for the kitchen. It was breakfast time, and he was really looking forwards to being spoilt for choice as to what he would have. He remembered from the day the Oracles had erased that he didn't like yogurt, but that still left him with a whole lot more choices than O negative or A positive!  
  
As he moved across the lobby, he realised he was still following his ingrained habit of moving round the patches of sunlight that came through the windows. Grinning, he stepped into one of them, enjoying the warmth he felt from it. It dawned on him that he probably looked a bit weird, standing there, grinning at a window. I better move before any of the others see me, they'd think getting my soul back had sent me nuts. He stopped, grinned again. Who cares?! Connor and I are talking, I'm human but still super strong, and I'm going to see Buffy in a couple of hours! His grin dimmed slightly. Not that I'm expecting anything. Just because I still love her.He heard a noise coming from inside his office and grabbed the opportunity to stop obsessing over what would happen when he saw Buffy. Moving to investigate the sound, he found Wesley sitting at his desk, surrounded by piles of books and scrolls. Just like old times. He thought sardonically.  
  
'Making yourself comfortable?' He asked, mock politely. Wesley's head snapped up from the text he had been immersed in. From where Angel was standing, he thought it might have been written in ancient Pali. 'Because you know, this is my office now.'  
  
Wesley rolled his eyes. 'Oh I do apologise if I'm invading your personal space, but I thought that as we're about to face a really big, big bad, a little research as to what it might be would be in order.'  
  
Angel ground his teeth at Wesley's tone, but realised he was right. 'Find anything?'  
  
Silently acknowledging Angel's attempt at cooperation, Wes nodded. 'I think so. I looked through some of my books last night, and found a couple of references to "The Prophecy of Four." Unfortunately they were all very vague, none of them giving the actual prophecy, just a brief description.' He shrugged. 'I was hopping that you might have something with an actual transcript of the prophecy.'  
  
Angel came round behind the desk to look over Wesley shoulder. 'Any luck?'  
  
'Yes and no.' He sat back, turning the book he had been reading so Angel could see it better. 'Between this text and the Arcadian Codex,' he indicated another massive tome lying open on the desk, 'I have a fairly good idea of what the prophecy says, and here - ' he pointed to a specific line in the book in front of him ' - it says that the full prophecy is written in only one place.' He smiled triumphantly. 'The Tiberius Manifesto.'  
  
Angel looked slightly bemused. 'Which neither of us have a copy of.'  
  
'No.' Wes agreed. 'But Giles does.' As Angel started to grin, he hurried to continue. 'Or at least, he did. Let's just hope that it hasn't been burnt, eaten, torn up or in any other way destroyed in the last three years.'  
  
'Ah.'  
  
'Yes. Anyway. I thought I'd try and get as much information together as I could before we left so we would at least have a place to start from.'  
  
'The fact that you turning up with the knowledge means that you can show Giles, Buffy and Xander that you're good for more than screaming like a woman never entered into it.' Angel's tone was teasing, but still slightly barbed.  
  
Wes glared at him scathingly. 'Angel, I am a grown man with no need to prove myself or play such childish games.' Then he smirked slightly. 'Telling Buffy and Giles that the knowledge of the latest coming apocalypse has been under their hands for at least the last four years is a simple courtesy from which I shall gain no pleasure at all.' The gleam in his eyes said otherwise. Angel smirked back. It wasn't so much getting one over on Buffy and Giles that he was secretly looking forwards to, as showing Xander that his Slayerette superiority complex was a complete waste of brain power, and he really didn't have enough to throw any away.  
  
'So,' Angel brought the conversation back on track. 'What did you find out?'  
  
'As I said, it is quite vague. All the references I've found talk of some sort of coalition, an alliance if you like, between different groups who fight for the light, different champions. There seem to be four groups involved, and only when each group finds, and then cooperates with the others will we be strong enough to defeat what is coming.'  
  
'Does it say anything about what it is that's coming?'  
  
'Again, more vagaries. Lots of flowery language which mainly boils down to, "It's big and nasty and wants to kill you all."'  
  
Angel shrugged negligently. 'No change there then.'  
  
'Not really. One thing I did find interesting, whenever this.evil thing.is mentioned they're even more vague about it than they are about us. Some of the texts describe it as council of evil beings, some of them describe it as only one being. It's very unusual to have this kind of uncertainty in these books.' Angel raised a disbelieving eyebrow at such an obviously wrong statement. 'I know they're always vague, but usually they say manage to say "The almighty, unholy evil one" or "The ever dread council of soul drinkers" or something. What I mean is, they don't usually mix up "it" and "they".  
  
Angel nodded in grudging agreement. 'So what do you know about the people we're going to have to work with?'  
  
'As I said, there are four distinct groups mentioned.' He pulled the Codex towards them and pointed at a paragraph. 'Here it describes the four groups.' He ran the back end of his pencil under the first three lines. 'This talks about "The group lead by The Chosen One." It calls them the youngest group but says they contain ancient power. Perhaps that means Willow's wiccan powers? Anyway, here it talks of "The group who shouldn't be. Father and son both contradict nature." I think we can be fairly certain that's us. Next we have the oldest group, the ancients, including "one who used to be brother of the enemy". Until we find out more about who or what the enemy is, I can't tell you much more about that. Finally we have this group. The best translation I can come up with it authority. One assumes that means the police, or more likely, the military.'  
  
Angel growled. It was one of the vamp talents he had retained. 'The Initiative.' He practically spat the words.  
  
'I can't be sure, but I don't think so. I've come across various mentions throughout my research of each of the groups having already excelled themselves in the fight against evil.' Wesley explained. 'From what we've heard about The Initiative, I don't think they count as.where is it...' He searched through the piles of documents and texts on the desk. 'Ah.here it is. "Proven in battle many times over. Saviours of man, of earth, of souls. Each group holds its own strengths, only combined will they defeat that which is to come." Doesn't really fit the description Giles gave me.'  
  
Angel nodded, reassured. 'True. Guess we just have to wait and see.' He cocked his head. 'That sounds like the others arriving. You ready?'  
  
Wes regarded him blankly, considering how to answer that question. He knew there was more that he and Angel needed to talk about, but he didn't feel that now was the time to disrupt the fragile truce they seemed to have going. Silently, he picked up the codex and handed it to Angel, before picking up the other texts off the desk that he thought might be useful. 'This way we both have something to show the Scooby Gang.' Then he walked out the office door and into the lobby.  
  
Fred and Gunn stood just inside the hotels main doors, sharing one last kiss before their lives went crazy. Again. Wesley did an abrupt about turn as he came out of the office, not wanting to witness such a, to him at least, sickening display of affection. Because his mind was centred on thoughts of Fred and Gunn, or more particularly just Fred, he didn't notice Faith until he span round until he crashed into her. It was only Slayer reflexes that stopped the box of doughnuts in her hand splatting onto the floor. The cream doughnut shoved into her mouth stopped her from saying anything, so they simply stared at each other, Wesley unwilling to move out of her way and Faith totally clueless as to what to do. Their face off was broken by Angel emerging for the office, his still supernaturally strong senses having picked up the smell of fresh doughnuts. He didn't even notice the tension between Wes and Faith, or Fred and Gunn making their way into the middle of the lobby, he was too busy digging through the box of goodies, trying to decide which one he wanted most. Definitely not jam. I think I'll avoid anything red and gooey for, oh, ever, but that still leaves chocolate, cream, custard, chocolate with sprinkles.  
  
'Easy there big guy.' Faith grinned at him after she pulled her own doughnut out of her mouth. 'This is only your second day on solid foods. Wouldn't want you to eat so much you puke when we get to Sunnydale.'  
  
'Yeah.' Cordelia appeared in the middle of the room, although the glow of her entry wasn't nearly as blinding as it had been the day before. She'd been practising (along with trying to find out more about what they were up against.) since she had left them in the hotel yesterday. 'Remember what happened last time?' The others stared at her, but before they could ask her what exactly she had meant by that last comment, Connor appeared at the top of the stairs. He was a bit heavy eyed, but happy. He and Angel had talked through the day and into the night. They had made a huge amount of progress, but all the years of hatred Holtz had taught him weren't going to disappear over night. Combined with the huge emotional traumas he had been through recently, it was amazing he was even out of bed. The reconciliation with his true father, and the beginnings of accepting that he himself was not an abomination against God had gone a long way towards relaxing and revitalising him.  
  
Angel grinned as his son, his son! walked down the stairs towards him, and actually smiled. Grinning foolishly, he offered him the box of doughnuts he was in the middle of stealing from Faith. 'Breakfast? No, wait. You should have something healthy. A growing boy needs.vitamins and.stuff.' He trailed of helplessly, looking to Cordelia for guidance. She just smirked at him openly whilst everyone else tried to hide their grins. Connor simply reached over and plucked the chocolate cream filled doughnut out of his hand, the one Angel had just been about to take a bite of.  
  
'This is fine, dad. Really. You should have seen some of the stuff I used.' He trailed off. 'This is great.' The smile was slightly forced now, but it was still there.  
  
'Well.' Cordelia broke the silence before it could become too uncomfortable. 'Looks like we're all here. Everyone packed and ready to go?' She looked around the assembled group. Angel and Wesley were both carrying books, but other than that and the box of doughnuts being passed about, no one carried anything. 'What do you think I am? Some kind of teleporting taxi service?'  
  
They looked at each other, and then back at Cordy. They all shrugged and looked hopeful, although it was Gunn who actually said the word. 'Yeah?'  
  
Cordelia mock growled at all of them. 'It's a good thing I like you all most of the time. Fine, I'll make sure you've all got enough clothes to keep the vamps from smelling you before they see you. Now, everyone get your weapons and lets get moving.' They all grinned at her, some thankfully, some cheekily. Angel was still going with inanely. 'On second thoughts, Buffy has enough weapons for a medium sized army. I don't think all of us turning up armed is going to lead to easy cooperation between the two groups,' she turned to the dark Slayer. 'And by that I do mean you Faith.' Faith shrugged sheepishly and put back the axe she had been testing in her hand.  
  
'So,' Gunn drew his customised crossbow from its resting place behind the counter and settled it comfortably by his side. Faith had a history with these people; it was understandable that they might get a little upset by her arriving armed. That didn't mean that he was taking his first trip to the hellmouth with out something to say hello to the natives with. He looked over at Cordy, shrugged, and said 'Do it.'  
  
The fang gang starred around themselves. Fred, Gunn and Faith, having not travelled by 'air Cordy' before were surprised by the sensation. Gunn hadn't been sure what he was expecting, but the scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy gets carried over the rainbow kept flashing in his mind. Instead, the light around him, around all of them in the lobby just got brighter, and brighter, until he couldn't see anything. Weirdly, it didn't hurt his eyes; he just couldn't see anything for a split second. When the light dimmed again he didn't feel like he had moved but his surroundings had changed. He found himself in a shop, with a group of people facing him, their faces showing varying degrees of apprehension. 'I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.' He muttered to Fred. 'No, wait. My bad. We are in Kansas now.' Then he grunted as she elbowed him.  
  
The two groups starred at each other. Giles smiled and nodded at everyone, trying not to look too avuncular. Faith tried to blend into the background. Buffy and Angel could do nothing but stare at each other.  
  
Predictably, it was Xander who broke the silence. Already defensive and worried about Willow, when his brain couldn't handle the strain anymore his mouth leapt into action. 'Hey, Deadboy's here. Now the party can really start.'  
  
Giles sent him a disapproving glance over the rim of his glasses whilst Fred and Gunn's heads snapped around in synch to glare at him. Willow and Faith unknowingly mirrored each other, staring at the floor. Wes rolled his eyes cynically. And so it begins. Anya just sighed. As Buffy and Angel didn't even seem to hear what had been said, it was left to Connor to reply. 'Deadboy?' He made a show of looking around the shop. 'I don't see any dead people around here.'  
  
Xander smirked at the new kid, not noticing the familiar tilt of the young mans head, the slight smile on the face. He's pretty young, and doesn't know the story. Guess I should fill him in. 'Obviously you haven't known this guy too long.' He jerked his head towards Angel.  
  
Connor smiled again, and took a step towards his fathers' tormentor. 'You must be Xander. Dad's told us so much about you.'  
  
The room froze. Buffy and Angel finally came out of the trance they were in  
  
'Dad?' Although it was Xander who actually said the word, the whole room thought it so loud, and with so many exclamation points, Cordelia actually ducked. 'You're Wesley's son?' As unlikely as this prospect seemed to Xander, it was the only possible explanation for the young man in front of him.  
  
'No.' Angel stepped across and put his hand on Connors arm, drawing him over in front of Buffy. 'This is my son, Connor.' This time the silence in the room was absolute, mental as well as verbal. 'Connor, that's Xander, Willow, Giles, Anya over there by the counter.' He paused. 'I hadn't realised you were a demon again Anya.' Angel wanted to bring that out into the open, mainly as a warning to Connor that she wasn't a threat, but also to delay the moment when he had to meet Buffy's eyes and introduce her to his son. He would never be ashamed of, or sorry, for Connors existence, but he wasn't exactly proud of his own behaviour leading up to his sons' conception. 'And this is Buffy.'  
  
'Hi.' Connor, ever his fathers son, ducked his head and starred at a point just left of Buffy's shoulder.  
  
Buffy was speechless. Angel had left her because he could never give her children, and here he was, presenting her with a teenage son! She didn't know what she was feeling; confusion, anger. This boy was in his late teens.Before her thoughts could spin completely out of control, Cordelia interrupted. 'It's complicated Buffy. You guys have a lot to talk about.' She stopped when she heard the realisation kick into Buffys head, what she had been feeling in the back of her mind since the L.A group had arrived, but had been too overwhelmed by the sight of Angel to process what her more tenuous senses were telling her. As Faith had before her, she finally realised what she was feeling, or rather, what she wasn't feeling.  
  
'You're alive.' It was just a whisper, then she tentatively held out her hand, placing it over his heart. Thumpthump, thumpthump. Déjà vu. Then louder 'you're alive!' Happiness raced through her, and sadness. Betrayal, because he hadn't told her twinned with joy that he had finally reached his redemption.but why hadn't he told her? He didn't love her anymore!  
  
'Only since yesterday morning.' Angel smiled awkwardly. He knew this was the moment, his moment. True, pure happiness was right in front of him, with nothing to hold him back, if he could just find the words to take hold of it. Unlikely. Cordelia help me!  
  
Cordelia stepped forwards. 'You guys need to talk, privately.' She pointed to the training room. 'Why don't you go in here and.talk.' Good luck she sent to Angel. Be honest with her. But stand up for yourself. And don't apologise for everything. But don't hold back. And-  
  
'We'll do that Cordy' He held out his hand for Buffy to precede him into the training room. Connor squeezed his arm briefly, and then watched them as they left the room. Although he wanted his father to be happy, he couldn't help feel slightly ambivalent towards Buffy. He knew his father loved her, but he also knew that she had caused him a great deal of pain, including sending him to hell for hundreds of years. Also, he wanted to beat the crap out of her friend Xander, which he didn't think would go down to well. He had known him for slightly less than five minutes, but already he had a feeling that if Xander didn't back off from Angel a bit, the two of them were going to have serious words.  
  
All eyes watched as Buffy and Angel left the room. When the pair disappeared from sight, the room returned to awkward silence.  
  
'Well.' This time Cordelia broke the silence. 'Those two are going to be a while, so we may as well get started without them. Wes, you've got some information, right?'  
  
'Indeed.' Said Wesley, stepping forwards to put the heavy books that he and Angel had been carrying on the table. 'As you know, I've only had a limited amount of time to-'  
  
'Wow there Watcher boy.' Xander interrupted. 'Let's just back up a step or two. One, Angel's human, two, Angel has a son, three, Angel and Buffy are going to "talk about things" in the training room, and we're just glossing over this and diving straight into the next apocalypse!?  
  
Wesley visibly checked himself, taking a deep breath to control his temper before he slowly turned his head to meet Xander's aggressive gaze. 'Angel has a son, Connor. We don't know how this is possible, only that it happened,' he paused, then offered a sardonic smile. 'Much like Angel's return from Hell. Cordelia is now a Higher Being with as yet unknown limits to her power. She made Angel human but with Slayer-like powers. I think that about covers it. Any more questions, or can we get back to saving the world?' With that he went to push past Xander, dismissing him. Xander grabbed his arm, halting his progress. Before he could speak though, his eyes met Wesley's, and what he saw made his words die in his throat.  
  
'I suggest you let go of my arm now.' His voice was quiet, civilised and very polite, but the threat of savagery underneath it was obvious to all. Even Xander saw past his bitter anger enough to realise that the man in front of him was not the same as the one he had last seen three years ago, whimpering for painkillers as he was loaded into an ambulance. Still, without a full explanation and demonstration of Wesley's metamorphosis, there was no way he would believe what the former Watcher was now capable of.  
  
'Gee Wes,' Xander's tone was saccharine sweet and totally insincere. 'I wouldn't want to get in anyone's way, just because someone decides it's time for deadboy to rejoin the living!' His agitation was clear for all to see. 'Did you forget what he did!?' He spun to face Giles 'did you forget what he did to Miss Calender?' Giles flinched visibly, whilst Xander's shoulders heaved with emotion.  
  
'My God Xander!' All eyes turned to Anya. 'I can't believe you.' As she moved out from behind the counter, he starred at her. Of all the people he had been expecting to interrupt him, Anya wasn't one of them. They barely spoke anymore, other than to exchange the occasional barbed insult. Her eyes, and her tone, were derisive, as she asked 'are you really that selective in your judgements? In your "moral standards"?  
  
'Huh?' Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn't been for her to begin a discussion of his morals.  
  
'You never saw it, did you? She stared into his face, looking for some sign that he understood what she was talking about.  
  
'Huh?' Beginning to sound like a really dumb parrot here.  
  
'The parallels between you and me, and Buffy and Angel.' Her tone soften slightly this time, realising he really didn't have a clue what she was talking abut, and when it hit him, he wasn't going to be happy.  
  
'What!' The exclamation exploded from his mouth. Cordy could tell he really didn't have a clue what his ex-fiancé was driving at. 'What are you talking about!?' You're nothing like him. He spat the final word.  
  
'Do you know how any men I've killed Xander? Tortured, maimed, with the power of the wish-'  
  
'Exactly!' He sounded almost triumphant. 'You were making other peoples wishes come true, that's all. You're not like-'  
  
'Xander stop.' Her voice firm, Anya gave him a light shake whilst the rest of the room looked on. Connor and Gunn weren't sure what to make of all the talk of Anya killing and torturing, but they figured they should wait for the scene before them to unfold before they did anything. 'Try reality now. I've told you enough stories. You know what I created from a woman's wish was very rarely what she had in mind, and if it was, it was only for a second.' She turned away from him, stepping back before she faced him again. 'I hated men, and I despised women for their weakness, for needing them!' She let out a breath, and then looked him dead in the eyes again. 'You want to know the difference between me and Angel?' He tried to look away, but found he couldn't stop staring into her gaze. The same kind of morbid fascination that makes you stare at accidents on the motorway kept his eyes locked on hers. 'He feels guilty over what he did whilst the demon controlled his body. I never did. I only wanted my powers back, so I could carry on with my life as a demon.'  
  
The silence was deafening again. Cordelia gave Connor a mental command to stay the hell put. Finally she spoke. 'You're a good man Xander. You've saved the world, some would even say you're a great man, but Angel is a blind spot for you, always has been.' She smiled gently at him. 'The jealousy you felt towards him as a boy coloured the emotions of the man. He is not responsible for the actions of Angelus.' When she sensed he was about to interrupt her, her voice grew louder, deeper, and way scarier. 'Trust me Xander.' She looked the same, he realised, but totally different, as if all the power in her now was coming through her skin. She smiled at him again, and she looked more like the old Cordelia. 'I know things, I see things now, things that. He already is a great man Xander.' She finished quietly.  
  
Xander starred at her, shocked. He felt like the things Anya and Cordelia were trying to explain to him, what Buffy had been trying to get him to understand for years, were too big for his head, too much to comprehend. He nodded mutely before leaning heavily on the counter, silently trying to assimilate what he had been told, and adjust his thinking accordingly. He wasn't sure he could.  
  
'Well,' said Wes. 'Now that we've had the first of what promises to be many pleasant chats with Xander out the way, perhaps we could get down to some work?' He was back to using that quiet, polite, acid edged tone.  
  
Giles finished cleaning his glasses, replaced them and then moved over to the table where Wesley was laying out the books he had brought with him. Cordelia listened to the quiet talking to he was giving himself. After everything we've been through recently, it's not surprising you haven't had time to do any research. Just because Wesley has, there's no need to be embarrassed or start up old rivalries! He's obviously changed a lot since he left Sunnydale. With that final chastisement he asked 'What have you found?' Nothing in his voice betrayed his thoughts, but Wesley's slight nod of acceptance before answering showed he understood.  
  
'We found mention of a prophecy, The Prophecy of Fours. Although we found a few descriptions, the only mention we found of where the full prophecy is transcribed is in the Tiberius Manifesto, which I do not posses a copy of.' As Giles started to smile, he continued, 'but you did the last time I was in Sunnydale.'  
  
Giles nodded. 'Did and still do.' Involuntarily, he looked at Willow who became fascinated by the floor again. 'It's in the restricted section.'  
  
'Ah.' Was all Wesley said. Nodding, Giles climbed the stepladder. Amazing. They're all back where they should be. What a pity she couldn't do that when she was in High School.  
  
'I heard that!' Cordelia snapped at him playfully. Giles smothered a laugh as he backed down the steps. When he reached the bottom, he turned and handed the book over to Wesley, a symbolic gesture.  
  
Throughout Xander's outburst, and Giles and Wesley's silent and verbal communications, Dawn had been quietly checking out the group Angel had brought with him. Wes and Faith she recognised of course, all though it amused her vaguely to realise she'd never actually met either of them before. Still, they didn't know that. They'd both obviously changed a lot. Wes was darker, scarier now. She wondered how he'd got that wicked scar on his neck. As for Faith, Dawn didn't think she'd ever seen her keep quiet or still for this long. Maybe all the talk about Angel not being responsible for Angelus was making her think about all the things she was responsible for. Whatever, she was very different from Dawn's fake memories, but they hadn't been wrong so far.  
  
Moving on, she checked out the biggest, and cutest, of the three newcomers. Charles Gunn. He was obviously exceptionally strong by human standards, or he wouldn't have lasted five minutes hanging around Angel. Buffy would no doubt be able to wipe the floor with him in about three seconds flat, but he might like to do some training with the newest Slayer.That thought made her grin until her gaze ran into Fred's. She couldn't decide whether the other girl was warning her off or telling her she didn't stand a chance. Probably a bit of both. Fred looked like she'd blow away in a stiff breeze, but Dawn figured there had to be more to her than was presented at first glance. Probably another brain she decided. Finally she looked at Connor. Although he wasn't as good looking as his father, he did have something about him, an aura. She met his gaze and quickly looked away, embarrassed to be caught staring. Almost as quickly, she looked back again, unable to help herself. He was still staring at her.  
  
'It's alright.' Connor said.  
  
'Huh?' Dawn wasn't sure what he meant. His tone was a mixture of world weariness, condescendtion and annoyance.  
  
'You can stare at me all you want. I'm used to being the weirdest kid in the world.'  
  
'Please.' Dawn snorted, annoyed by his patronising air. 'You're not even the weirdest kid in this room.'  
  
Connor's brows jumped up his forehead at her words. 'What! I'm the off spring of two vampires, both of which have been brought back from hell, and one of which staked herself so I could be born!' The implied 'So there!' was obvious to everyone.  
  
'Oh yeah.' Dawn fired back. 'Well I'm a millennia's old ball of energy, mixed with Slayers blood and made into human form.'  
  
'I grew up in a hell dimension!'  
  
'I nearly made earth into a hell dimension!'  
  
'Y'know, it's kind of scary when I'm the most normal person in the room.' Gunn stage whispered to Fred.  
  
'He is so not the weirdest person in the world.' Dawn announced to the room at large.  
  
'Don't worry sweetie.' Anya patted Dawn's arm consolingly. 'We're all pretty weird around here.'  
  
'Ahm.' Giles cleared his throat, gaining everyone's attention. 'We appear to have found the prophecy.'  
  
Leading Angel into the workout room, Buffy was more aware of herself than she had ever been. Her own movements, her clothes against her skin, the slightest breeze in her hair, and Angel's eyes following her. She moved behind the pommel horse, using it as a barrier between herself and Angel. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes as she spoke. 'So. was he just one of those things that you forgot to tell me about?' Angel shrugged, unsure of where to start. He'd been intending to take a few seconds to gather his thoughts, but Buffy didn't give him the chance. 'Like you forgot to tell me you were a vampire? Like you forgot to tell me about your curse? Like you forgot to tell me about your reputation?!' Buffy new she was being unfair, especially about the curse, he hadn't known about the loophole anymore than she had, but she was so confused by the arrival of Connor, she couldn't help herself.  
  
Angel's head jerked up, his guilt warring with his new found anger, the words Cordelia had spoken to him butting up against those that Buffy spat at him now. 'And when you told me you were leaving me because you couldn't give me children, did he just slip your-'  
  
'He's only eight months old!' He didn't shout, but the bite to his words was sharp enough to cut like a knife.  
  
'What?' She stared at him, unable to understand what he had just said. She understood the words, but she couldn't make them apply to reality. Also, he distracted her by taking a deep breath to calm himself. She was reminded that, physically and emotionally, he was not the same man as the one who had left Sunnydale three years ago. Besides, she had enough things in her past that were going to need a bit of explaining to at least listen to him, hadn't she?  
  
The silence lasted this time, both hoping the other would break it. Finally, Angel spoke. 'We don't understand how Connor.came to be.' He paused. This was going to be more difficult than he had realised, telling her about his most recent descent into darkness. 'Two years ago, some of the people I've sent a lot of time fighting against, lawyers actually. Anyway, they found a way to raise Darla.' Buffy gasped, but didn't speak, so after a second Angel ploughed on with his explanation. 'She was able to invade my dreams, invade my mind.'  
  
She just stared at him shocked. She had thought she was prepared for whatever he would tell her. Very little shocked her anymore. Wrong again.  
  
'They brought her back human Buffy.' He looked away from her then. The memories still pained him, especially his failure to save her. 'She was dieing when The Master turned her four hundred years ago, and she was dieing when they brought her back. I convinced her - eventually.God.' He covered his face with his hands. This was too difficult. 'I convinced her that being turned into a vampire again wasn't a solution. I couldn't save her, but I could be with her, support her, until the end. Maybe we could give her soul a chance.'  
  
Buffy nodded, trying to be reassuring. If anyone could understand how difficult it was coming back from the dead, it was her. For Darla to come back human, after four hundred years as a vampire and however long she had been in Hell was something she didn't even want to think about. She tuned back into what Angel was saying.  
  
'I was never in love with her, not like with you.' He didn't meet her eyes as he spoke 'but we were together for over a hundred years, and she was a human being in pain, even though she had just tried to drive me mad.' He muttered reflectively. He finally looked at her again. 'I made it Buffy. I connected with her, convinced her that we could do it, we could save her soul. She believed, and just when she did, they broke in, and Drusilla turned her.'  
  
Surprising both of them, Buffy took his hand. She didn't speak, but the gesture of reassurance let him carry on. 'Things were already pretty bad for me, but Darla getting turned, it kind of sent me over the edge. Darla and Dru, loose in L.A. I couldn't let them go on a rampage, but I couldn't have lived with myself if anything had happened to Cordy or Wes or Gunn.'  
  
'What did you do?' There was no judgment in her tone, only empathy.  
  
'I knew, the only way to beat those two together. I had to give in to my own darkness. Not Angeluses, mine.' He stared down at their joined hands. 'I embraced it Buffy, the darkness, the despair. I thought evil was everywhere, that we couldn't win, and I slid into the darkness.' He was waiting for her to draw away, to shout at him, to judge him. So far she hadn't, and he didn't think she had understood how bad things had got. He decided to tell her the worst. 'I let people die. They were my enemies, but they didn't deserve to die like that. I thought, everything, the whole fight against the darkness. was pointless, so I decided, I decided to give in to it.' He tried to pull away from her then, but she wouldn't let him. Instead, she lifted her hand to his face.  
  
We have to get it all out there she thought. It's the only way we'll ever have a chance. No matter how much it hurts, I have to know the truth, and so does he. 'What did you do?'  
  
Starring into her eyes, he could see love, and fear. 'I tried to lose my soul.' He felt her tremble, and she dropped her hand from his face, but her other hand still held his tightly.  
  
'What happened?'  
  
'There's only one way I knew of to lose my soul.' He looked at their hands, then back to her face again. 'Turns out that it only works with you. I slept with Darla, and. something happened, but not what I'd been expecting. I remember you know, what it was like.last time., with you. Instead of that, I had an epiphany.' Buffy looked confused at his choice of words, and this time he managed a small smile for her. 'I realised that there is evil everywhere in the world, just like there is good everywhere. That's the point of champions, like you and me,' he raised their joined hands to his lips and kissed them. Buffy felt a thrill zing through her body at the contact. 'People like us keep fighting, and the darkness can't win.'  
  
She starred at him, tears in her eyes. 'And Connor?' The question was gentle, caring rather than demanding.  
  
'Connor.' He smiled again, still nervous. 'When you're a vampire, you don't really worry about protected sex, y'know?' He fidgeted, looking back. 'It took a while for me to make it up to the guys, and then we went to Plyea,' at Buffy's look of incomprehension, he explained briefly, 'different dimension. That's where we found Fred. Anyway, we'd pretty much forgotten all the stuff with Darla, until she turned up, nine months later, the size of a house, and calling me daddy. Whew.'  
  
'Where is she now?' The tightness was back in Buffy's voice.  
  
'She's dead, again.' Anywhere else that would be a weird thing to say. She just nodded, trying not to look too relieved that the mother of Angel's son wouldn't be coming for a visit. 'There was some kind of magick protecting the unborn baby.' He started to explain. 'When Darla first found out she was pregnant, after she got over the shock, she tried everything she could to get rid of it.' At Buffy's indrawn breath Angel just cast her a sidelong glance. 'Vampires aren't really known for their nurturing instincts. Anyway, whatever magick was protecting the baby, it endangered it too. It wouldn't let him be born.' This time he had to look away from her. 'The soul of the baby was affecting her, making her feel. At the end, she loved him. She staked herself so that he could live.'  
  
'Wow.' This last piece of information was a little bit difficult to deal with but it still didn't explain how that eight month old baby was now a teenager. 'Was it some kind of magick that made him grow up?'  
  
'No.' The single syllable came out more tersely than he had intended. 'Sorry, no.' he said more gently, placing his other hand over their joined ones. 'It's another long story, but basically an old enemy of mine turned up, and with some help, tricked Wes into kidnapping Connor. Then he took Connor to a hell dimension and raised him as his own son. They came back through a portal a month ago. Holtz, the man who took Connor taught him that I was. Angelus. He hated me, but with Cordelia's help we're working it out.'  
  
Buffy just starred at him, trying to wrap her head around everything he had just told her. Finally, she managed to wrap her mouth around a single word. 'Wes?'  
  
He nodded, understanding all the questions she was trying to ask with that one word. 'We're trying to work it out. It's complicated, but we'll get there. Holtz is dead, and Connor's beginning to accept me, not in his place, but like, a different father.'  
  
He starred down at her, bringing his hand up to caress her face. 'You're still here' he breathed.  
  
'What?' Her voice was just as soft, just as breathless as his.  
  
'You're still here. I thought for sure after I'd told you all that, you'd have told me to get the hell away from you or.' His eyes fixed on her mouth. Nervous, her tongue slide out to wet her lips, making Angel's pulse quicken. Slowly, he lowered his head until their lips brushed, barely touching. They both stayed like that for a second, which felt like an eternity. When Angel moved to deepen the kiss though, Buffy put a hand on his chest to stop him.  
  
'No.'  
  
Angel pulled back, confusion and rejection written across his face. 'Why. But, I thought.'  
  
Buffy raised her hand, cupping his cheek. 'You showed me yours, now I've got to show you mine.' Reacting to the confusion still evident in his face, she explained, 'you're not the only one who's done things they regret.' He still didn't understand what she was getting at, but he leant back slightly, keeping hold of her hand but giving her space to talk. 'Before, when we were together, we were both so scared of telling the other what we really thought and felt.' She forced herself to look at him. 'We can't do that anymore. We have to be honest with each other, no matter how much it hurts.' She took a deep, fortifying breath, then let out a shaky laugh. 'Well. This whole baring your soul thing is a lot harder than it looks, isn't it? Fantastic. I'm doing a nervous Willow impression. 'Oh God.' She tried to pull her hand away from his, to put some distance between them, but this time it was him that wouldn't let go of her. She nodded and attempted a smile for him. 'Right. Well. You know, after I came back, things were. It was really hard for me to adjust to being back. I told you Willow and the others thought I was in a hell dimension.' She paused, unsure of how to go on.  
  
'But you weren't.'  
  
Buffy starred at him. 'How.?'  
  
'How did I know?' She nodded. 'You told me.'  
  
'No I didn't.'  
  
He gave a quiet laugh. 'Not in so many words, no, but when we met up you said the same thing then, "they thought they were bringing me back from a hell dimension." You didn't put the emphasis on it that I did just then, but I could tell from the things you didn't say, and the way you acted. besides, I've been there.'  
  
She goggled at him, trying to find a way for his words to mean something other than what he'd just said. In the end she managed a couple of gasping vowel sounds and to shake her head a bit. He understood. 'When I lost my soul with you, where do you think it went?'  
  
Buffy just starred at him, confused, and then aghast. He was in heaven! He was in heaven, and I-  
  
'Don't feel guilty about this Buffy!' There was a snap in his words now, a firmness and command that had never existed before. 'There's no way you could have known. I didn't even know.' Her eyes were full of tears when they met his. 'By the time I got out of hell, I'd all but forgotten it, blocked it out. I didn't start to remember it again until I visited the Oracles. Seeing Higher Beings again, it rang a bell.anyway, there didn't seem to be much point in bringing it up then.' He shrugged, unsure of where to go from there.  
  
She starred at him, just starred, thoughts flying around her head so fast she thought they were all going to come exploding out her ears. He'd been in heaven. After everything that had happened, everything she had been through, it had never occurred to her that he might have done the same thing she had. No, not what she had, she realised. When she had first got back, she'd asked Dawnie, is this hell? But it had been earth. He'd fallen straight from heaven to hell, with a kiss from her to send him on his way-  
  
'Buffy!' His voice snapped her head up again, so he could see her tear filled, guilt shrouded eyes. 'I didn't tell you that so you could feel guilty about it.' He held both her hands tightly now, willing her to listen to him. He of all people understood just how badly guilt could screw up your thinking. 'I told you so that you would know I understand. Maybe no one else can, but I do! I'll never forget, and neither will you, but. What?' He trailed off at the look in her eyes. A look of awe and joy, and sadness. 'What?' he sounded uncertain this time.  
  
A tear slid down her cheek, but she didn't even notice. He raised his right hand, still joined to her left, and wiped it away with his thumb. Gently, he sucked the moisture from the tip of his thumb before lowering their hands again. She let out a trembling breathe, them stumbled out 'I forgot!' The tears came now, in floods as Angel looked on, hopelessly confused. She threw herself into his arms then, and sobbed into his ear, 'I promised I'd never forget, and I did.'  
  
He got it then. Their perfect day, which only he was supposed to remember, but somehow she did too. 'How?' he gasped out hoarsely.  
  
She pulled back, but kept her arms around his neck. 'When I was.gone.' still can't say dead. 'You know what it's like.'  
  
He nodded, still not quiet sure of her feelings on the subject. She was still crying, but that could be a good thing or a bad thing. He decided to keep quiet, just keep holding her. If she decided to be pissed about this, it might be the last chance he got.  
  
Eventually, she pulled back so she could meet his eyes again. 'I remember it all.' She spoke quietly. 'When I found out, up.there. Well, up there you're never mad, so I didn't have to do the usual wait a while until I calmed down so I could think rationally about it. I could see why you did it, and how much it hurt you.' She went up on tiptoe and brushed her lips, butterfly soft over his. 'You were right. We both needed to be able to fight, to save the world. I'm not saying I think the way you went about it was perfect, and we really are going to have to do something about your habit of making all these gigantic self sacrificing decisions for both of us, but in the end, it was what had to be done. Now we can both fight, but together. I hope.'  
  
She pulled away from him again, this time succeeding in putting a few steps distance between them. She wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him. This wasn't the same as trying to explain to the others. Angels' history with Spike was something she knew she couldn't even begin to comprehend. She knew that the last time the two of them had met, Spike had tortured Angel. She knew that they had over a hundred years of shared history that she could never be part of. Oh God. 'I slept with Spike.' She spoke quickly, before he could close the gap between them.  
  
His hand stilled in mid air. He didn't want to believe he had heard her right. 'What! How! WHY!' He took a breath and then ploughed on before she could form any kind of answer. 'No, wait. I know what and I really don't want to think about how. Why Buffy, why?' But when she turned to him, misery written all over her face, he understood. He pulled her to him then, holding her head to his chest, mutely offering to listen to her the way she had listened to him.  
  
Her voice was muffled when she spoke 'Cause he made me feel.' She had no more tears to shed. She had reconciled herself to what had happened between her and Spike, and why. In her heart of hearts she knew she didn't need Angel's forgiveness for it. They hadn't been together when it happened, and she hadn't done anything actually wrong, but she did want his understanding. She craved it. For a second she was tempted to stay there, with her face hidden, safe in his arms, but safe wasn't her way. She pulled back. 'He didn't expect anything from me like the others did, I didn't have to pretend with him and. he loved me.' At Angel's incredulous look, she reaffirmed 'he did. In his very own, unique, Spike way, he loved me with everything he had. I knew it was wrong for me, but right then, I needed that.'  
  
This time she met his eyes calmly. It was all out there now. Nothing more she could do but hope.  
  
Angel stared at her, realising that the woman in front of him was not the one he had fallen in love with all those years ago, as he watched her from the shadows on the steps of her high school, watched as her life was changed irrevocably. That woman, girl really, had been a paragon to him, a creature of good whose light he could bask in. The woman who stood before him now was real. She had made mistakes, she had hurt and been hurt, but she always got up, and tried again. This was a woman he could stand beside, fight next to and fight with. They had been together and apart and could finally meet as equals, partners, lovers, as they were meant to be. He reached up, cupping her face with his hand, running his thumb over her lower lip. He pulled her towards him gently, and took a half step himself, meeting her in the middle. Slowly, oh so slowly, his head came down and he captured her mouth with his, gently at first, but then with more passion as he tried to communicate the depths of his feelings to her. Her hands came up and tangled in his hair, trying to drag him closer still until their bodies were pressed together. Finally, they both had to come up for air. Gasping Angel muttered wryly, 'that hasn't happened in a while.' And Buffy giggled. It was such a fabulous, light sound, Angel new he would do everything in his power to make her laugh like that every day for the rest of their lives. He knew he wouldn't succeed, but he'd enjoy the effort.  
  
They stared into each others eyes exchanging slow, gentle kisses, nuzzling against each other, just enjoying the feeling of closeness that came after that type of honesty. Buffy reached up a hand and stroked his brow. 'You're gonna get worry lines.' She whispered contentedly, 'and I'm going to love watching them, as they grow, and change, with you. with me.' She smiled almost sleepily at him, she almost felt as if she was floating, the weight removed from her shoulders was so great.  
  
Angel grinned down at the beautiful woman in his arms. His love, his soul mate. Even after everything she'd been through, she still had a fragility that made him want to protect her, although he knew that in reality she was one of the most powerful, most dangerous creatures in the world. And she was his! Leaning into her, he pulled her head long into a heated, passionate embrace. Slowly, her mouth moved to explore his strong jaw, the column of his throat, and she dropped a trail of kisses in her wake. Angel let his hands explore her petite, powerful frame, relearning the curves he knew so well from his dreams. Sliding her hands down his back, Buffy hooked her fingers into his belt, then returned her mouth to his for another soul drugging kiss as she pulled him with her to the pile of exercise mats in the corner. The heap of mats came just above her knees, and she fell back onto them, drawing him down with her, over her. As Angels' body came down on hers, thoughts of all the things he wanted to do to her, do with her, ran through his mind, which is probably why Cordelia chose that moment to shriek in both their heads 'Euwww! I so didn't need to know any of that!' They both froze for a second, then Angel let himself collapse on top of Buffy, his forehead touching hers as they both laughed wryly. There really wasn't much else they could do. 'I guess that's our cue to get back out there.'  
  
'I guess it is.' She replied, keeping her arms securely round his waist. She reached up for another kiss, and then another, and another, until another mental bellow from Cordelia made them spring apart.  
  
'Any time you guys wanna come back in, that'd be great!' Cordy yelled from the next room.  
  
They shared one last intimate smile, and then linking their fingers, walked across the exercise room. Just as they reached the exit, Angel stopped, and pulled Buffy in for one more kiss. Jerking his head towards the pile of mats, he grinned impudently and said 'don't forget your place, we'll finish this later.' Part of him felt like this was going too fast, like they should wait a while, try and be mature and careful about it all. The rest of him didn't care. He loved Buffy, and she loved him. They'd been apart for too long, partly because of circumstances, but also because of their own fears. He didn't want to waste a single second more that he could be with her.  
  
Buffy just grinned back at him, then, raising their joined hands, she slowly sucked the index finger of his right hand into her mouth, caressing the length of it with her tongue before drawing it out again, millimetre by millimetre. 'You betcha.' She winked at him, and then dragged him out to the main floor of the shop before he could say anything else.  
  
Looking around the shop, Buffy was reminded a little bit of her senior year in high school. Giles and Wesley were discussing the translation of some obscure demon dialect, Xander and Anya were listlessly flicking through research books, more interested in bickering with each other than doing any actual research. Cordelia was checking her hair in the counter top. Of course, she was only reminded a little bit of High School. Dawn and Connor seemed to be locked in an argument abut who was the weirdest, Fred and Gunn, who Buffy hadn't really met, were helping with the research party. At least, Fred was helping, Gunn looked to be more on Xander's level when it came to research, and Faith and Willow were having a, somewhat monosyllabic, conversation over by the potion ingredients. Buffy wasn't sure how she felt about Faith being there, not doing cartwheels over it, that's for sure. But she figured she could only deal with so many issues at once; Dawn becoming a Slayer, Willow becoming a murderer, Angel being back, and human, and having a son, and another apocalypse on the way. She did not need to start another front of battle right now. Besides, if what she was lip reading was right, Faith was actually trying to help Willow, as unbelievable as it seemed. She'd defiantly caught the words 'understand' and 'been there'. Buffy turned away, shrugging. She'd deal with Faith when she had more energy, and more information. Still not letting go of Angel's hand, she marched over to the research group. 'So, what've we got?'  
  
'Ah, Buffy.' Giles paused and cleaned his glasses, and then handed his handkerchief straight to Wesley, so he could do the same. Perching them back on the end of his nose, he peered over them, looking between Buffy and Angel, before nodding and clearing his throat. 'Yes. Well, we've found a copy of the original prophecy, and I think we've just about succeeded in translating it into English, although it is a bit rough.' He smiled, pleased with the groups efforts. 'It was written in an obscure dialect of a demon language that hasn't been spoken for some millennia.' He smiled again, waiting for some acknowledgment of the feat of translation they had pulled off. When none came, he cleared his throat again, and continued. 'Ahm. Well, as I said, it doesn't flow like it did in the original, but we've got the jist of it.' He nodded to Wesley, who read from the note pad in front of him.  
  
'At the dawn of the new millennium, four groups of champions will unit. All tested, all triumphant, tried in battle many times. They fight not for glory, but for right.  
  
The first, led by The Chosen One, fights with her family; father, brother, sisters. The fire of youth, the ancient power.  
  
The second, the unnatural, grown from those who didn't belong. Father and son both contradict nature. The one who grew beyond them all, the warrior, the scholar, the one who travelled far.  
  
The third, the youngest old, the oldest ancient. One brought back, one champion, one magickal, one who acquires what is needed, one who was once brother to the enemy.  
  
The fourth, not all of this world, from beyond, grown beyond, they fight for more than governments.  
  
The strength of all, the knowledge of all, the experience of all.  
  
Once brother to one, once god to one, forged in hell, raised from below. This evil will destroy all, if all cannot destroy it.'  
  
Silence greeted the end of Wesley reading, until Cordelia barked, 'What now!?' Everyone jumped and stared at her, until she pointed sheepishly at the ceiling. 'Gotta go. Back soon.' I hope. And she was gone in a flash, before anyone in the Magick Box could say anything.  
  
Reappearing on the higher plain, Cordelia spun round, looking for the source of the being who had called her, so she could nail their.essence to a wall for dragging her away at such an important stage.  
  
A voice spoke behind her. A very familiar voice. 'Glad to see you finally made it princess.'  
  
Spinning round, she choked, speechless. There, in front of her, was the same, badly dressed, short, annoying, infuriating, brave, wonderful Doyle she had last seen 2 years ago, when he had saved the lives of all those demons, and Angel, and her. Only then, he didn't glow. Giving an inarticulate shriek, she launched herself into his arms.  
  
Fin.  
  
Please look out for my next story. I can't guarantee when it'll get here, but it'll be a Buffy / SG 1 cross and the second part of the four part story I'm writing. 


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